We had finally made it to the store after a long and excruciatingly quiet ride over. I watched as Amaya pulled into a parking spot of an almost empty lot.
I was surprised it was so deserted, especially the day before one of the biggest holidays in America.
Then again maybe there were a lot of families out there like mine who didn’t even celebrate the holidays unless it was for their parents’ company’s sake.
I remember as a child all we ever did on Thanksgiving was watch the Macy’s Day Parade on tv with the maids before going about the rest of our day as if it was just another ordinary one. For most of my teens I spent almost every one of my Thanksgivings at parties or with a random girl whose name I couldn’t even remember while I was in their presence.
But if all the movies I’d seen with a Thanksgiving scene were correct, then this store should be packed with people running to the store to get last minute ingredients, like Amaya and me. Maybe it’s just a weird town or everyone coincidentally had everything they needed at home. I don’t know what it was, but either way I was thankful to be here in a less cluttered place. It gave me a better chance to talk to Mya without her being as distracted.
She was full-on ignoring me now, but hey that’s a typical Mya move. She might’ve been the one person I actually enjoyed to talk to and be around, but she was also so unbelievably stubborn.
Her not even bothering to look at me was causing problems. No matter what I said she would just keep her focus straight forward without even a single blink. If it wasn’t Amaya, who sometimes had a flare for dramatics, I’d be worried she was having a medical condition.
As you all know, I had something very important to tell her, but her silent treatment wasn’t exactly helping me out here.
“Mya, can you at least look at me? We have to talk and you know it.” I tell her trying to get her attention for the millionth time in the last twenty minutes.
Her facial features tweaked the slightest bit as if she was starting to debate whether to end her silence for me or not. But she kept her eyes off me and turned the key of the car making the sounds of the engine come to a stop.
She placed the keys in her purse and climbed out of the car without me. I scurried out of the car behind her and jogged to catch up to her. She might’ve had short legs but when she was in a mood or a situation she could move as fast as lightning.
By the time I caught back up with her she was pushing a cart and leading it into the supermarket.
“Hey! Could’ve at least waited for me, Flash.” I joked with her.
Usually she’s laugh along or have a snarky comeback, but today there was no response.
The doors automatically slid open granting me and Mya entrance to the inside of the store.
The greeter inside the door welcomed us and told us what all was on sale before we nodded in understanding, gave a thank you, and were on our way.
As I had predicted, there was hardly anyone inside the store besides employees and a few other costumers.
Amaya kept to herself and pushed the cart along to the dairy section of the store in search of butter. As soon as she picked it up, she carelessly threw it into the cart probably denting it.
I watched as she whipped out the shopping list her mom had stuffed into her hands as she was walking out the door of the house and moved onto the next aisle she needed to be in. I silently walked along with her knowing if I spoke she would just ignore me anyways.
It wasn’t until we were heading back out to the car that I tried my luck once again.
I picked up my pace so I was far ahead of her and stopped right in front of her cart. I clamped a steely grip onto the front of it, denying her from moving any further.
“Let go of the cart and move out of the way, Theo.” She muttered in an overly irritated voice.
“No. Not until you agree to talk to me.” I retorted.
She crossed her arms and propped out a hip. Amaya had that ‘I’m getting extremely annoyed right now and if you don’t move right now I will castrate you in your sleep’ look on her face, but I didn’t care. I needed to actually have a conversation with her and at the time I didn’t care what it would cost me.
She gave me a final glare and rolled her lovely eyes before grabbing onto the handle of the grocery cart. “Fine. We’ll talk, but first: we’re putting these groceries in the car. Secondly: we’re going somewhere else to “talk.”
I thought over her proposal and knew that if I didn’t accept there would be no conversation between us at all, so I agreed to her two small terms and let go of the metal that was beginning to pierce my skin.
She pushed the handcart the rest of the way and stopped right behind her car. I watched as she clicked the trunk button and it popped open before she bent over and started clearing way for all the items she had just purchased.
I couldn’t help but watch. Amaya had the most flawless body I had ever seen, and the fact that she had the most pristine personality to match was an absolute gift.
Amaya is like a utopia. A perfect society with all things good, a place we could only dream about. A true paradise.
Whereas, I, on the other hand, am a dystopia. The exact opposite of a utopia, and characterized by unpleasantries and bad things.
My Amaya was too good for me and I knew it, and I also knew deep down it was selfish of me to keep a person of such complete beauty for myself when there was most definitely someone better for her out there.
Someone who didn’t have a whole mile long list of all his problems for her to help deal with. Someone who didn’t have a history filled to the brim with dishonesty, arrogance, and conceit. Someone who was nothing but good, just like her.
I know there was someone who was absolutely better for my princess, but I also knew deep in my heart that when you find a girl as unique and exemplary as Mya, you never let her go.
I just hope and pray that for some odd reason she’d never want to let me go either.
We climbed into the car and the silence ensued once again.
After a little driving and a couple of back roads we had pulled into a dirt parking lot. The place was desolate and looked as if no one had stepped foot on the property in some time.
So this is where I die, huh?
Amaya stepped out of the car, and without even waiting for me, started to walk up a steep hill in front of where the car was parked. From where I was standing I couldn’t see what was at the top of it yet, but I followed her anyways.
When I got to the top it was the exact opposite of what I had expected. Instead of being rough and rocky, it was flat and grassy. There was a lone picnic table, multiple trees placed randomly all over the plot that eventually led into a large forest behind us. It was so peaceful, but that wasn’t all. Everything was overlooking a seashell-scattered sandy beach and small lake.
Amaya continued to walk ahead of me before climbing up on top of the bench of the table and sitting down on the dining part of it. I followed her, sat right next to her and mimicked her actions of watching the body of water.
It was about ten minutes before she finally spoke, but I didn’t mind. I was in no hurry. I had all the time in the world for Mya.
“My whole family used to come out here. We used to have big family gatherings or just a small family picnic of just mom, dad, and me. This was one of our favorite places to go, but we stopped going when my dad lost his job the first time.
We never really had the time with my parents working so much. You’d think with my dad being so smart and having such good credentials, he’d be able to always keep a job.” She scoffed.
“Well he could, but there aren’t exactly a lot of biochemist jobs in this little town of nothing. If we stayed in New York he would’ve been able to have a well-paying and safe job, but we moved down here because my gambling addict of an uncle just couldn’t stop himself. So my dad moved us all down here to be closer to him and the rest of the Dawson family, and ended up at random jobs he could find. He “lent” any extra money we had to my idiot of an uncle.”
She stopped her speech to lay back on the table and stare. I didn’t understand why she was gazing at the sky so intently since it was nothing but darkness now. At least that’s what I thought before I laid back with her.
There was clusters and bursts of beautifully bright stars scattered all across the inky black sky. I never really took the chance to really look up at them, but when there was the off-chance of seeing the stars it took my breath away every single time.
“They’re amazing, aren’t they?” I heard Amaya voice beside me.
I turned to look at her and she was staring up at the upper atmosphere with a small grin on her face. Her smile was full of reminisce and I couldn’t help but gaze at her.
“Yeah. They really are.” I replied not even bothering to look back at the stars.
“My dad was such a dork about the constellations. He taught me how to find and identify so many that it’s insane. We had an old, clanky telescope that we’d always drag out on a starry night. We’d spend hours trying to find new discoveries.”
She smiled from ear-to-ear and it was as if she was watching the memory reply in her mind.
“He really seems like a great dad, Amaya.” I tell her before her eyes leave the sky and land on me.
“He is. The absolute greatest.” She said before taking her eyes off me and looking back at the stars again.
“You see there’s the Little Dipper,” I watched as she traced the line of stars with her finger to point it out for me. “And Scorpio, Leo, and my absolute favorite Pegasus.”
“That’s the horse with wings, right?” I asked unsure. I never really paid attention in that class...whichever one it was.
“Yes, Theodore.” She chuckled before sitting up.
I sat up with her, sad to let the glimpse of the stars go, but happy for the opportunity that Amaya might actually be ready to talk. She cleared her throat and stared out at the water of the lake.
“But back to my uncle though.” She said as her eyes glazed over. “He ended up wasting any money we gave him. He blew it at a game of poker, at the race track, or even sometimes on drugs. He ended up dying of an overdose a couple of years after we moved down here. We no longer had the money to both support us and move back to New York.
Even if we did, there was close to no chance of my dad getting his old job back. So my mom and dad decided it best to stay here. Our money was only spent on necessities and the extra money mom and dad scraped together went into a college savings account for me.
No matter how much I told them to use the money for themselves, they wouldn’t budge. There’s people out there who had it way worse than us, I know that, but I can’t help but wonder if it wasn’t for my uncle my dad would probably be at the top of his field right now.
We wouldn’t have had to go through so many problems. But at the same time I remember places like this,” She gestured to around the park we were currently sitting in. “where I had some of the best times of my childhood and know I wouldn’t have been able to have this specific place in New York.”
We sat there in the quiet for a few minutes with the every once in a while swish of the water moving against the beach before I decided to speak my opinion.
“While I had a completely different childhood and can’t say that I’ve went through anything that you have, I know that all the little things have shaped you to be who you are today. The tough times your family went through had to have been hard on you, but they made you tough, optimistic and contribute to your ever-growing courage.
Your family, and the fact that you had your adoring and protective mother at your side at all times and your unique and forever-treasured bond you will always have with your dad gave you your own loving and giving personality. No matter what you think, Mya, your home has given you so many things that you probably didn’t even know. You may not like some of the negative events that occurred in your lifetime, but just focus on the good.
Focus on your dad and your guys’ forever love of the stars and gummy bears. Focus on how he always called you bug and was there for you no matter what. Focus on how lucky you are to have the devoted and loving parents that you have. Focus on only the good, and just remember that the bad might’ve been sucky and difficult but it shaped you to be the strong, independent, and grateful girl that you’ve turned out to be.”
I watched as a tear rolled down her face and I smiled before leaning in to wipe it off her face and pull her into a tight hug.
“I’m sorry I was a bitch to you earlier,” She sniffled. “it’s just that I was afraid.”
I pulled back so I could talk to her without having her mumble in my chest.
“What could you possibly be afraid of?” I asked as I held her small face in my hands.
“That not specifically Gloria, but anyone stealing you. Yes. I was extremely jealous of Gloria growing up. She’s stolen a guy from me before, but honestly I don’t even care about that anymore. She can have him, but I just don’t think I could deal with her stealing you away from me.” She looked up into my eyes.
“That will never happen I promise you that-”
She pressed her index finger to my lips giving me the silent sign to shut up. When I did she went on.
“I was on a roll here, Theodore. Now shush so I can spill my heart out to you.”
I chuckled in response and gave her a nod to let her know I was keeping my mouth shut and ready to listen.
“Okay. Where was I? Oh, yeah! I’ve always been jealous of Gloria. In the past it was because of how gorgeous she is and how she could have any guy she wanted, but now I’m only jealous of her because you told her you loved me before you even told me.”
She quirked an eyebrow as if to ask ‘what the hell is up with that??’ and I just chuckled before grabbing her hands and watching her closely.
“I do regret telling her before you. How can I ever make it up to you?” I grinned while asking her.
“Hm.” She tapped one finger to her chin and pretended to be in deep thought. “Oh! I got it. Tell me it now.”
“Are you sure? I planned on telling you-”
“I’m sure. I’ve had so many good memories here, and adding this one to the list would be a dream come true.” She smiled back to me.
“Okay. Fine, then.” I cleared my throat not wanting it to crack while I was telling her. “Amaya. I love you. No matter what happens I always will.”
Another tear stroked its way down her face and I wiped it up with my thumb before I watched as she leaned in and connected her lips to my own. It had been so long since we kissed, but the spark that had once been there when I was drunk off my ass was still there when I was completely sober.
Unfortunately before I could stop her she pulled back just a fraction of an inch and looped her arms around my neck while resting her forehead on mine. She still had her eyes closed from the long-waited kiss but a small smile still remained.
“Theo?” She whispered.
“Yes, princess?” I asked back just as quiet, afraid of breaking this fragile moment.
“I love you too.” She said clear as day before she leaned in for another passion-filled kiss.