I hate how vulnerable he makes me feel.
The way his eye brightens whenever he talks about her.
How he keeps reminiscing about the memories of their date.
I hate it.
I wasted three long years liking someone that doesn’t even feel the same way.
“And she’s got this amazing smile that just....gosh I don’t even know how to explain it but all I know is that I love her.“ he laughed.
I was supposed to be the only one who makes him laugh like that.
He was supposed to be mine!
He was never yours.
The truth hurts.
My heart clenched in pain. A broken heart was something I had never experienced before.
“Hey Em why so glum?“ he asked fiddling with a strand of my hair.
Little did he know how much it pains me to see him with someone else. I shook my head trying to cover up my miserable mood.
“If you like her so much then why don’t you just ask her to be your girlfriend?” I suggested and slapped myself internally for giving him such an idea.
I was the one who did this in the first place and now I am the one who’s suffering.
“Hey you’re right. That’s why you’re my bestest friend in the whole wide world. ” He hugged me.
“Sometimes you’re like a sister to me.”
“And sometimes you can be so damn confusing.”
“You’re so oblivious to everything around you Em.“ he stroked my hair.
“What are you talking about?” I asked completely confused.
“Even now you can’t see it.” He chuckled in my neck sending shivers throughout my whole body.
“You think I don’t notice how every time I mention her name you frown or when I hug her you turn your head away or when I kiss her on the cheeks tears well up in up your eyes. And it’s funny you know. That you never told me about your feelings but prefer to sit on the sidelines enduring everything.”
“I’m....I...-” I croaked out but he cut me off.
“Shh. Let me talk. I’ve always loved you Em but gosh are you blind for not seeing it. If only you knew what you did to me whenever I hear you cry yourself to sleep nevery night. And because of me? It hurts so much.”
I completely forgot we were neighbours and our room windows were practically touching.
“I love you Em. Since the day I first laid eyes on you and I never wanted to hurt you. Staying away was my best option but I never thought it would’ve brought us closer.” He sniffled.
I didn't remember when we both started to cry until I felt his shirt became wet. He lifted his head off my shoulder and faced me.
I averted my gaze to the floor.
“Look at me.” He whispered.
That’s when I let it all out and said the three most destructive but yet calming words.
“I love you too Evan.”
Our heads then slowly leaned into the most blissful kiss making me regret all the moments of bottling up my feelings.
If this was the outcome then I would've told him sooner but I guess sometimes we just need to have the courage to finally face them.
Though I feel all we need is a push to admit those hidden feelings.
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