XXI: Lifetime experiences.
This can’t go on! Sebastian knows it can’t and he tries harder everyday.Watching himself brush teeth in the mirror, Sebastian can’t stop thinking about Peyton.
“This needs to end.” He says pointing to himself in the mirror after rinsing his mouth.
He can’t sleep because he is thinking about her, he can’t eat because he is thinking about her.The way she smiles, it lights up his day because that is something she rarely does . . . Smile.
“You have already uprooted and ruined her life enough. Don’t drag her into your fucked up mind.” He gives himself a stern look and decides that he might look ridiculous, but he won’t be getting dragged in any longer.
No way. For her.
His smile to himself wavers when he thinks about what he is doing and his smile then turns to a frown.
“She doesn’t need or deserve someone like you.” He then walks out of the bathroom and nods.
Keep it business. Strictly Baby Business.
How is it even possible to get so entwined into someone over such a short period of time? A short period of being kind? It makes no sense, yet it feels too right.
It’s like building a puzzle, you don’t know why you put yourself through all that work, but you love it.
While putting on his suit jacket, Sebastian heard a soft knock on the door which he acknowledged before turning around to see Peyton dressed and ready to go somewhere.
A lock of her soft, hair falls infront of her eye and she quickly tucks it behind her ear and looks at Sebastian before casting her eyes to the floor.
“I was wondering if um . . . I have an appointment today . . . I am 4 and a half months pregnant and am going to the doctor. Do you perhaps, maybe want to come with?” Not knowing why she was so nervous, Peyton couldn’t bring herself to look at Sebastian.
He has to go to work.
Sebastian watched Peyton with a frown on his face, why would she be nervous to ask him something like this?
“I-I can’t.” Sebastian shakes his head and feels his heartstrings pull when Peyton looks down even more in disappointment.
Saying yes would ruin things for him, it would only make him get trapped even more.
Looking at Peyton though, it hurt. It hurt every cell in his body to not see her smile because of him.
“Alright, I will cancel my meetings.” He quickly said when Peyton turned around to leave.
She looked at him and fire lit up in her eyes when a smile decorated her face “really? We should get going then.”
Sebastian smiled, feeling warm inside. He put on his suit jacket and then he followed her downstairs and told her to pick a car.
She chose the audi r8 and they were on the road soon after Peyton explained where the clinic was.
“So, why did you ask me to come with?” Sebastian asks and Peyton feels her heart skip a beat while she sits with her hands in her lap.
“I just had a feeling.” She takes a deep breath and shakes her head as if to say that her thoughts are dumb.
Sebastian sees the fire in her eyes go out and stretches out his hand with all alarms going off in his head.
However, ignoring it, he takes her hand in his and as he intertwines their fingers, he sees her relax.
The rest of the ride is silent, until they get to the front counter to check in. “Mrs Coleman, you will need to pay your account in order to go through.You still need to pay for the medication and the last time that you were here.”
Peyton feels like bursting into tears and can feel Sebastian’s stare. Feeling embarrased, Peyton sighs and nods “I know, I just don’t have the money yet, can’t we make an arrangement?”
The lady looked at Peyton and felt sympathy peak at her, about to tell her that there is no way, Sebastian passes his card towards her without a word and she immediately takes the payment.
Once the payment is done, they get sent straight to the doctor’s room and told to wait.
Peyton can’t look Sebastian in the eye and knows that she can cut the tension in the air with a butter knife if she had too.
She sits quietly on the chair and plays with her thumbs, it’s silent in the room and she gets a fright when Sebastian speaks “why didn’t you tell me that you need money?”
Peyton was about to answer when the doctor walked in and greeted them and she can’t help but feel relieved.
“Alright, lets take a look.” The doctor smiles at Peyton and she lies back while the doctor smears gel on her belly.
Sebastian moves closer and the doctor smiles at them before putting the sensor onto her belly.
When he finds the perfect spot, he pauses the screen and smiles “alright so here is the head and the body and legs,”
Sebastian nearly stumbles and can’t explain the feeling he gets. Searching for Peyton’s hand, he squeezes it tight and feels a tear fall down his cheek.
“That’s our baby.” He whispers and then starts to laugh not knowing why he is crying.Amazed at the screen, he immediately nods when the doctor asks if they want to know the gender.
However, Peyton shakes her head and Sebastian winks at her before shaking his head “let’s keep it a surprise.”
The doctor nods and does a few more things before freezing in his spot and going pale.
“There seems to be a problem.” Sebastian feels his heart drop and looks at the doctor just as curious as Peyton “there seems to be a marker for a possible abnormality.”
“What?” Peyton asks and feels herself tearing up “it doesn’t mean that it’s definate. The baby seems to be in danger of down syndrome.We all know what this is but if we take a look here,” he points to a number on the screen “you see that the baby’s general diastole, when the blood enters the heart, is at a very low number, usually it should be 20 more.”
The doctor sighs and goes on to explain what this means “if this is so, there will be complications close to or during birth, we know that your child will then have a heart problem and being down syndrome would be the reason why. If this happens to be a false alarm, then this is simply your child being undernourished.” He glanced at Sebastian for a moment.
“Complications could include a miscarriage, your baby not breathing when born, the baby having a heart attack inside you which could lead to brain damage or the baby needing a heart operation within 2 days of life.” The doctor shakes his head “I am sorry to tell you this kids, but it’s either a healthy baby or an extremely sick one which threatens death to both the mother and itself.”
Peyton vigorously shakes her head and looks at Sebastian who hasn’t said a word “I want to go home now.”
Sebastian nods and the doctor prints the pictures “go wait in the car.” Peyton nods at Sebastian and gives him a hug before leaving.
“What does this mean?” The doctor shakes his head “all it means is that we will give her some medication and that we can monitor it, the possibility of abnormality is very small, yet there.”
Sebastian nods and thanks the doctor before leaving, knowing that he needs to be strong for Peyton.
The drive home is silent and Peyton doesn’t move or say a word.When they arrive home, Peyton goes upstairs without a word and lays down on her bed.
She places her hand on her stomach and looks down imagining her baby. It’s hers. No one elses and no disability will ruin it.
“I will love you either way.” She said and started to cry silently, knowing that this means birth could go wrong. Something could happen during birth.
Her heart broke in two and she let out a loud sob, her baby has to be safe. She is willing to die for the baby, even if it means a disability.
A soft knock sounds through the room and Peyton ignores it. She hears the door open and then soft footsteps.
The bed dips behind her and Sebastian rubs her back gently “it’s gonna be okay.” She didn’t move for a moment and then turned to Sebastian with tears in her eyes “it’s okay.” He pulled her close when her lip started to quiver.
She sat up and curled into him while he held her and her belly. Listening to her tears, her pain.
Wishing he could take it away, Sebastian put his chin on her head and silently let his tears fall down his cheeks too knowing that everything will be okay.