The sunrise enters my room casting a light through my open window into my eyes, causing me to wake up with a groan, it was hot in my room as it was beginning to get into the summer time, it's only June 15th and it's AC weather! I'm just not able to lift it myself, Derek's too lazy to do it, so who knows how this summer will be together in a hot room again, I sat up and looked over at my asshole, abusive boyfriend who is passed out hungover as all hell. I get up without waking him up, I go into our walk-in closet and reach for my grey NF shirt, I grab it off the top shelf and then look through my jean shorts and get dressed,
With some black Nike sneakers,
I tie my shoes then stand up catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror, my face was bruised, my lip busted open, my wrists had bruises on them and my body had them in random places, Derek's new favorite thing to do was beat the shit out of me when he was all messed up, he recently started popping pills with his booze, he changes into a monster. I peek at Derek before I head out to work at the dance studio in Oakland CA, with Shereen Prince (she's a real hip hop dance teacher but in SF I believe) she let me go in early before classes to record my dance videos for my channel, she knew what I was going through without me saying a word, she called me a tough bitch and to keep fighting you'll get enough strength to leave soon enough, I believed her I fought Derek back and I stood tall at the end bruised and beaten but alive.
I shake myself out of my thoughts and head out of the closet quietly, taking one last peek at Derek, who was still passed out I walked out of bedroom and down the stairs, I passed my calendar that read I had the Shawn Mendes concert tomorrow night, I sighed I wanted to be excited but Derek insisted he be my plus one instead of my friend, I was pissed he had to control every aspect of my life including concerts I'm supposed to be having fun at 19 not dealing with abuse and an unhealthy relationship, hospital trips are insane but I have good insurance and working at the studio is paying well, Shereen is amazing and she's saved my ass more times than I can count, I've been taking classes from her since I was 10! I grabbed my keys and walked out of the house, locking up behind me, I walked to my car,
Get in and start it, I drive to 15 Gold Star Street, I park and get out walking up to the locked doors, I grab my key to unlock the studio, I unlock the doors and go inside turning on only the lights I need since it's 6am, I grab my laptop and camera plus my stands, along with my iPod to plug into the speakers, I grab my dance stuff from my bag and change into it,
My hair was up in a pony tail (pictured above), I find a song to work on thinking carefully, I chose Love On The Brain by Rihanna
It hits close to home, since it talked about her relationship with Chris Brown, I just haven't gotten the chance to run away, I set up my camera and laptop to record different angles, I hit record and then play on the music and begun to dance as the song started, I let myself be sucked into the music as i moved around the studio, tears escaped my eyes I finished, I quickly shut off my laptop and camera from recording and broke down onto the floor, I held it all in all night to not make things worse for myself, I wanted nothing more than to just die, Derek was slowly killing me and I wasn't sure how much longer it would be until I let go and just killed myself, Shereen arrived a few hours later while I was dancing to First Time by Liam Payne
The song I was creating a routine for, one that we were going to use in class today, it's my teaching day so my class will be in today.
The day went by fast, Shereen and I went to lunch together as we always do, people stared like always, I ignored them and kept on with my day, when I got into my car my cell rang, Derek's face popped up with mine from before he started drinking and popping pills, I answered it,
"Hey babe what's up?"
"Where the hell are you? I'm about to order dinner!" He screamed into the phone, causing me to jump and pull it away from my face.
"At the studio I had classes to teach, my job babe." I said, I rolled my eyes closing them, he was pushing it I was near the edge.
"Oh well see you soon!" He said then hung up, he never told me he loved me nor did he touch me anymore, we've never slept together and I'm sure he's cheating anyways.
I start my car and R U Crazy by Conor Maynard starts playing (funny thing it just came onto Spotify as I was typing this 😂😂😂), I started singing to feel better, I got home about 10 minutes later and turned my car off and grabbed my stuff and went inside, I brought my stuff upstairs and changed into something more comfortable,
I walked into the kitchen as Derek was opening a bottle of beer, who knew if he'd started popping pills yet, I was going to find out one way or the other I always did, I knew how to make him pass out now, so I've been using that against him now.
Dinner arrived and he answered it payed for it then we ate, then the pills hit him as he drank another beer, I was doing the dishes when I was punched in the shoulder from behind, I heard a pop! Causing me to yell and drop the plate I was washing at my feet, it shattered sending glass pieces everywhere and all over my bare feet, I turned around quickly as Derek swung again, this time I blocked it by throwing my arms up and blocking the blows, feeling the worst hits on my forearms, I took my chance to hit him when I could, then when I got my chance I wrapped my arms around his neck and put him out, laying him on the ground I got up,
Warning self harm ahead!
I had enough, I locked myself in the bathroom downstairs and grabbed a razor from the package in medicine cabinet, I sat in the tub and dragged the razor across my skin, crying out in pain, I dialed 911 as I was passing out, I was face down in the tub, i awoke to banging, yells and screams, I groaned unable to get up from how weak I was, I heard a bang and the door opened, in walked 2 paramedics,
"Get that stretcher in here now! We've got a female bleeding in here!" Yelled the one closest to me.
I tried to get up, but the paramedic grabbed me and said,
"Easy Miss, you've lost a lot of blood."
I begin to get dizzy, trying to hang onto life, I felt cold and I felt like I was dying, I hear Commotion and Derek yelling, I close my eyes and when I open them again I'm being lifted out of the tub and onto the stretcher, I try to stay awake as they wheel me past Derek who keep yelling, still fucked up off the pills, I get put into the ambulance and then blackness hits.
5 hours later.....
I awake to machines beeping softly, I'm alone, no surprise, I hear my cell go off and sit up slowly, reaching for it I see a missed text from Derek,
Where are you?!
Hospital just woke up here
I'll be there soon to get you!
I leave him on read as the doctor comes in smiling,
"Hello, how do you feel?"
"Fine, tired," I reply looking at the doctor.
"Are you sleeping at home?" The doctor asked
"Yeah why?" I ask
"You just seem more at ease here then when the paramedics found you in the tub, do you remember what happened?" He asked.
"My boyfriend and I fought like always and then it's all blank," I lied really well, hiding the fact that I'm now Suicidal.
"Ok well you're clear to go home!" He said handing me papers to sign, I did and handed them back, I wasn't going to miss that concert tonight.
I waited for Derek who arrived 30 minutes later, we left and he brought me home, only to scream at me for ending up there, it went in one ear and out the other, I was done listening to the threats, I got myself ready for tonight,
(Grey hoodie on right is the one that's with the outfit she's wearing),
"Wow the little hoe has to look like that for a concert? You think any guy wants to see all that fat, damn you eat so much," Derek laughed harshly, in reality I didn't eat a lot and I ate right.
"Kindly go fuck yourself Derek!" I screamed.
He came at me so fast, punching me in the side of the face leaving a nasty bruise, it hurt like a bitch too, I swung back breaking his nose,
"You fucking disgraceful cunt!"
I scoffed at him, "coming from the sadistic prick!"
He came at me again blocked his hits, then screamed,
"Keep you're fucking hands off me! I'll meet you there you fucking douche!"
I ran from the house with my purse and keys and got into my car and left quickly, my face hurt, I turned on my camera in my car as I was driving, I decided to make a video,
"I'm on my way to the Shawn Mendes concert that I unfortunately have to go with my asshat of a boyfriend with, I just left home, he's freaking out and already on something, ugh!" I sigh and try to breath, "I'm going to try to enjoy the concert!" Tears formed and I wiped them and shut the camera off.
I made my way towards the arena, I pulled into the parking lot and parked next to a tour bus not realizing it was Shawn's, I get out and stand by my car trunk and wait for Derek who comes speeding in 20 minutes later, he speeds past me nearly hitting me, I gasp and jump onto my trunk, getting pissed.
Shawn's POV (haha Yes!)
I hear some commotion and a girl gasp as a truck speeds by, I watch her facial expressions, spotting the bruise on her face, it looked new and fresh, I watched her storm by and walk to the truck and begin to yell,
"What the fuck Derek?! Are you fucking trying to kill me?!"
I watch her sleeve roll up a bit showing off bandages and a hospital bracelet, as the guy Derek replied back,
"Oh Lacey stop being so fucking dramatic bitch! You look fine to me!" He smiled cockily.
What happened next shocked me, Lacey swung at him and hit him in his nose which already looked broken, he howled and she walked off, he was stopped by security when he tried to follow her,
"You need to calm down before going inside!" They instructed.
I needed to meet this Lacey face to face, she looked like she needed someone to talk to.
I'm currently inside now, flashing my VIP badge to a security guy who won't stop asking me if I'm okay or need a EMT,
"I'm fine, it hurts but most they can do is give me ice and I'm sorry but I was in the ER this morning I'm fine!"
The guy looked unconvinced but let me go by without hasseling me more, I made my way to my section and stood there awaiting Derek's arrival.
I was finally making my way into the arena after calming down and being checked out by a EMT, Lacey broke my nose twice! That little bitch is going to regret it! Now off to this stupid concert she just had to go to, I wouldn't allow her friend to go with her, fuck that it's a guy singer he could try to fuck her and she's mine!
I was currently getting ready to go on stage, I looked at my security guy Noah (I'm making this up ahaha sorry),
"Did you find the VIP information for a Lacey?"
"Yes, and I found Derek's too," Noah said.
"Okay, I want an eye on her during the show, he might try something again, they are close to the stage, I just don't trust this dude," I say looking at Noah seriously.
"Oh I don't either, he's one hell of a fighter though, he got her good." Noah says as he looks at the picture of Derek again.
"I have to meet her without him around, I'm gonna give her my number Incase she needs somewhere to go," I say.
"Can you trust her?" Noah asks.
"I think so," I say grabbing my shirt putting it on.
"Alright let's get this show on!" Noah smiles at me.
To be continued.....