Queen Sia received a congratulatory letter from Prince Neal. She was not happy to read it. The turmoil in the writer’s mind was reflected in the letter.
Thank you for giving this world a new princess. I’m sure she is making all of you very happy and will continue to do so. She also makes all of us here feel delighted.
The last few months have been testing times for us. But thanks to King Philip, all is well now. I have heard much praise of his man Roderick ever since I arrived. It goes without saying that we all are very thankful to him too.
You know me well enough to fathom where I have been for the past few months and how I was keeping busy. It’s a shame that the culprit Gaea wasn’t captured alive.
But I have had a lot of time to think. The man held me responsible for something that I never intended to do, something that was collateral damage to a war that was never my first choice. Haven’t I been doing the same for all these years? I am the collateral damage. Nobody would have done what my parents did, if there was a choice. The life they had to live was hard to endure and my mother is still walking on the same path. I had put an extra burden on her but I intend to remove it now. As for the others, they have always wanted the best for me. There was no plan, just hard choices and people supporting those choices. I understand that now. I have been a selfish, unsupportive idiot, punishing them for the past instead of cherishing them in my present.
It’s an irony, what the world’s most selfless person could not teach me, was taught by a lunatic. Maybe because only insane people make sense to a madman.
Commander Antofurota is doing very well, I’ve been told. I haven’t met her since the incident. I had a long time to take a hard look on this incident too. I can’t help but blame myself for what happened to her. No, I don’t blame myself for the wine. It was not my fault. My fault was that I had not seen the symptoms of the poison (however fake it may have been), early on. If it was a real poison, those few minutes could have made the difference between her life and death. I was so self-indulged that I ignored all signs of sickness till she fainted. I doubt that I would have noticed even that if she had not puked on my face. She was dizzy, confused, sweating, shivering, unable to speak or breathe and I was going on and on about my intentions. I thought that she was listening and maybe agreed, while she was just unable to listen or respond, unable to tell me that I was out of my mind. Perhaps I should stop with the plans for a while.
I was so engrossed in the future that I blanked out of the present. I seem to have a habit of doing so. It is very much necessary to be mentally and physically at the same place. It has taken me the hard way to understand this simple thing.
I know that many people want this for me. But I can’t join them in the thought (it is a ridiculous thought) that the future of the world depends on it. I think that we don’t need this any of this. The world is doing fine as it is. I was right a few years back. The right reaction to this idea is to get angry, or laugh perhaps. I was mistaken to think that it will do me any good. I need to take some time to think about it. Everybody is better off without me making a mess of things.
While I was trying to explain myself to her, I sounded ridiculous. I didn’t realise it at the time, as I had turned blind and deaf for a few minutes, but I realise it now how utterly hopeless this case is.
For a minute, I thought that she would die. Then I thought that I would die. And for months I thought that she would never get cured. It is strange how fear of death opens your eyes to reality and gets you out of wishful thinking.
I have decided that I am glad. You always said that love is stupid. All of your people, almost all, think so. I just wanted to inform you about it, so that you don’t expect anything in the future. Forget anything any of us ever did or said about it and burn everything linked to it. I don't know what I'll do.
I have troubled everyone enough already with my shenanigans, especially you. I promise this one is the last thing I ask you to do for me.
Give my regards and congratulations to the king and lots of love to your daughter.
P.S. - I think you already know that the ex-queen Crysta is living here. Her health is declining rapidly. I don’t think that she will see another year.
The queen cried “Oh, Neal!” and furiously tore up the letter.
Author's Note:- The second book "Effortless to win" can be found on my profile.
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