Xavier's Confession

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11. I'll catch her. Not you.

After school, I went to call Alana at her locker since I was her ride. Kendra was leaning on the next locker besides her.

“Ready to go?” I asked.

She started since she didn’t see me coming amidst the crowded hallway. “At least say something before you say anything,” she returned with a sigh.

I shrugged it off.

“Kendra’s driving me back today,” she said.

What?

With a bit of a frown of confusion, I looked at Kendra who simply rolled her eyes.

“You wouldn’t mind if I steal her for today, right?” I asked her.

She shrugged in response and I took that as a yes.

Seeing that she’d done her business with the locker, I held her wrist and pulled her to go with me.

“Hey, stop. Let go of me,” she protested as we scurried down the steps.

For once, I didn’t really care about her refusal. She was always going on about it and it was not like I was a kidnapper. When we reached my car, I opened the front seat door for her and told her to ‘get in’.

She huffed contemptuously and scowled at me. I stared right back with a straight face like I usually do in the streets. No joke. She seemed a little intimidated but she willed herself to keep up with me.

“What is wrong with you?” She said and pulled her hand out of my grasp.

Jamming my hands in my pockets, I eyed her intently and said, “I picked you this morning. You came with me. You go back with me.”

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Who made that rule?”

“It’s not a rule, Mongrel. It’s how I do it.”

She crossed her arms and returned challengingly, “What if I don’t care what you do?”

I scoffed back evilly, starting to enjoy the game. “You won’t dare to if I say what I’ll do,” I said.

“Oh, really? Hahahah. That sounds funny.” She fake-laughed at my face.

You’re really putting up with me, are you?

With a taunting smirk, I leaned in slowly and whispered over her ear, “I’ll kiss the life out of you.”

With a shirt gasp, she instantly took a step back and gaped at me with eyes wide open. I clenched my jaws and forced myself not to burst out laughing at her reaction.

Instead, for more effect, I added with a nod, “Right here.”

I was so enjoying this.

Funnily, even without waiting for me, she pulled the door open on her own and got in without another word, then slamming the door close after her.

Damn. She really didn’t want my kiss.

It was pretty funny and pretty depressing at the same time.

As we drove towards Kingston’s to pick David, I teased her by saying she should have taken the challenge. So the following drive until we reached Kingston’s was her funny defense and me trying to make her blush. At one point, she really did say she’d rather kiss a fifty year old orangutan over me.

That kinda broke my heart a bit. I mean, I really didn’t think I looked that bad.

“Why don’t you come out with me Saturday night?” I asked when we’d quietened down after our usual bickering.

“I don’t want to. I have no reason to and I don’t owe you anything.”

I snorted, “Owe me, my ass.”


It was Saturday and since Alana had refused to go out with me, I was at Chase’s studio, Chase Town, working on our song. While at work, I’d gotten a haircut too in the backroom. Scott usually did all our hair. He was good at it. And me, I didn’t trust anyone else. One wrong snip and you’ve got Arquette to answer to. And I wasn’t the kind of guy who liked torturing people on weekends. I mean, I’m an extremely nice guy. But dear ol’ Scottie knew exactly what I wanted.

After it was over for Hunt and me, it was Matt’s turn. By the time Matt came around, Scott started to sing Madonna’s Like a Virgin and dance like Travolta.

“Man, what the fuck are you up to?” Matt chuckled, looking up from the chair as Scott sang with his eyes closed and swayed his hips in passion.

Like a Virgin
Touched for the very first time

“Just shut the fuck up and cut the hair.” Matt laughed.

Scott continued to put up the act as he went about his work. Matt’s face looked microwaved as he sat there laughing while Hunt and I took videos. My stomach ached from all the laughing and controlling. It was tremendously surprising how Scott didn’t even crack a smile all these time. Hunt was bending over and gasping for breath.

Gonna give you all my love, boy
My fear is fading
Been saving it all for you
Cause’ only love can last

“This is seriously creeping me out. I gotta bail.” Matt tried to stand up but from the back, Scott pushed him back down on his chair by his shoulders.

“Alright, somebody bring the cable ties,” Scott said, looking up to Hunt and me. And then the next seconds, he started to laugh too.

“I’m out,” I said, laughing, and walked out of the room.

I grabbed my jacket on the way from a chair and told Chase, who was sitting in front of the control surface, I was leaving with a slap on his back. The other three came out of the room too, their faces red with laughter.

“Chase, you need a haircut?” Scott asked with a grin.

“Sure,” Chase replied ignorantly.

“Don’t take it, man,” Matt chuckled as he kept dusting his head with a cloth, “You’ll regret it.”

“What’s he up to?” Chase looked up at us curiously, knowing Scott.

“Don’t listen to them, Chase. Come on in.” He said, walking back into the back room. And looking back once, he added, “Oh by the way, we’ll need cable ties.”

“What?” Chase looked at me confusedly.

I just laughed with a shake of my head and walked out the door, unexpectedly running into Jacob and my Mongrel. They we’re coming down the street and I’d just came out of the studio. Mongrel almost crashed into me but Jacob pulled her back. And so for the first time in history, I felt like snapping the head off of nice guy, Garfield.

I mean, dude, if she wants to crash into me, it’s her choice. I’ll catch her. Not you.

My laughter wiped off immediately, I turned to face them directly, turning my chin up over Garfield because I suddenly felt like showing him who was boss since he literally pulled my girl away from me.

“Well, what do we have here. Jacob.” I eyed him straight in the eye, trying to intimidate him with my domineering stare. Then slowly rolling my gaze towards Alana, I said, “And Mongrel.”

I was supposed to act cool to seem as though I wasn’t feeling any strange feelings but meeting her eyes, I felt majorly fucked . . . because she went out with him and not with me.

If my heart was kinda broken when she said she’d rather kiss a fifty year old orangutan, my heart definitely was officially broken now.

Fuck, Garfield.

And how dare he even keep his arms around MY Mongrel.

“Xavier,” he replied.

I felt like kicking his jaw off.

Noticing the way how my gaze was burning at the way he was keeping my Mongrel in his arms, Alana quietly wriggled out of it, feeling quite uncomfortable.

Well, that’s much better.

Soon, Hunt too came out of the studio, laughing still but he instantly stopped once he saw the situation outside. He blew a low, worried whistle, knowing how much I liked Alana.

“Hey, Alana,” he said.

“Hi,” she answered.

“So . . . Uh.” Hunt cleared his throat. “You came out for . . . ?”

“A movie,” she answered again.

Movie. Pff. Lame as fuck.

Seriously, Garfield. You couldn’t do better?

I leaned in to Alana and whispered into her ear, “If you wanted a puppet so badly you could’ve just told me, Mongrel. I would have bought one for you to sleep with let alone having a movie night with it.”

She stared back at me, wide eyed. I straightened my posture and smirked at her.

“What was that ’bout?” Jacob asked, wrapping his arms around my Mongrel again.

Trying to keep cool though in my head, I’d already killed him, I calmly looked at him and said, “It was a compliment. I told her you’re cute.”

Because you don’t even deserve the answer from me.

Alana frowned at me and I smirked in return.

Not quite over with insulting him, I reached out for his collar, saying, “I mean damn! You look just like Ken. You know, Barbie’s boyfriend. Cute. Damn cute.”

Jacob frowned.

The only thing he’s really got the guts to do.

Man up, dude, and fight me. Give me a chance to break your jaws.

“Hey, man.” Hunt called. I looked back at him and he motioned his head across the street. “There’s our guest.”

I peered down the street. Damien was there with few of his guys.

Right on time.

I’d been craving to see him again since we last met to pay back debt for taking advantage when Matt was sick. And even better now. My hands had been itching to hit something since I saw Garfield with my Mongrel.

Looking back at the two of them, “See you around,” I said and we left them.

Hunt and I hurried off towards the other side of the street. Once we reached them, I grabbed Damien’s collar and knocked him down with a punch on his face. He immediately stood up and retaliated back. And as easy as that, there was a fight right in the middle of the street amidst a screaming crowd.

No one really giving up, we kept fighting until the cops came. I didn’t even care about getting arrested anymore. I needed to vent my anger and . . . Feelings onto something else. Damien had suffered relatively bad today compared to other days. I knew my emotions were to be blamed for it.

As I was handcuffed and pushed against the cop car, I kept my gaze on Damien, trying to think of how much I still wanted to beat the shit out of him and how much he deserved it so I wouldn’t have to think of Alana, who was probably still there with Garfield and watching me get arrested.

But of course, I couldn’t stop thinking about her and how she chose Garfield over me. I was feeling more than just jealous. I felt rejected. Again. All the time.

Of course, I didn’t expect her to accept me. I just wanted her to. But I guess, I don’t deserve it at all.

I’m not really a nice guy, actually.

Fighting against my conscience, I looked up the street towards her. Though it was far, I knew our eyes met. Though it was far, I knew she could feel me looking at her . . . Because I could feel her too.

But Jacob pulled her and she left with him. I looked away.

It kinda hurt.


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