Chapter 27 - The Greatest Sin of a Fallen Angel
Media, Ancient Northwestern Iran
House of Raguel, Rooftop, Evening
“Raphael,” I greeted with enough callousness to the archangel standing some distance in front of me.
“Aeshma,” he answered just the same.
Glorious golden wings bright as the sun and wearing an armor that shined like a million stars in the night sky was what I see in this entity. You can add a long, golden hair and that’s it - a worthy role model of the angels in heaven.
“Tell me, have you completely wallowed in Darkness? Did you finally joined the Adversary?” Raphael stated as he slowly circled me like a skillful predator.
As if he can intimidate me with his golden presence.
I turned to where he was, making sure my eyes never leave his. A tiny opening on my part could lead to him prancing on me and binding me with his angelic power - a power I once did have.
“This is not about sides. You above all else should know that,” I stated grimly, disappointed of his lack of understanding.
He frowned of course, already brewing up sharp words to throw at me.
“I knew you were growing too attached to her, but I didn’t expect you would sink this low,” he stated.
“I have grown to love her!” I shouted immediately. I am quite sure the passion in my rotten beating heart leaked a good amount. “That’s all there is for me. I love her! My wish is to protect this beautiful, kind, worthy woman from the filth of this world! I wish to be her protector, just like what a Guardian Angel should. Why is that wrong Raphael? Tell me?!”
“She is Mortal, Aeshma. Purely human,” he answered coldly, but there was pity in his eyes when he looked at me. “You know that already! It is against our Heavenly Rules to-”
“I know what the twisted rule stipulates!” I abruptly interrupted. Please... Don’t give me a sermon regarding those ridiculous rules. “What I want to know is why? What is wrong with loving someone other than God?!”
My dark aura seeped out of my body and covered the whole rooftop of Raguel’s house, but Raphael’s bright aura quickly submerged it.
“Aeshma, don’t fool yourself. You have ceased being her Guardian Angel a long time ago. You are but a nuisance to her now. A parasite! That is not love you are feeling! That is something else! Darkness is beckoning you. Why can’t you see it?!”
Oh please... spare me the Darkness crap dialogue again.
“Call that as you may,” I stated acidly. “I don’t care. She is mine and no man shall ever take her!”
“She is destined for Tobias! You know that!” Raphael shouted quickly. Being an archangel, he certainly knows how to show the emotion anger in a good way and right now, his eyes were blazing gold angrily.
“He has come too late!” I answered, having the same amount of blazing red glow in my orbs. My anger was definitely much more potent than his. This emotion always prefers to feed the negative energy around it. Mine was giving it an all-you-can-eat fiesta.
“Where was he when all those unfeeling mortals tried to taint her?! He is supposed to save her, where was he then? NO! I did it all! I am the one who saved her from a life sentence of sadness!”
I lifted my face haughtily trying to make him see that what I did was exactly right. He knows it certainly that if I hadn’t saved Sarah from her previous six husbands that her soul would break and go directly to the Land of Emptiness.
The glow of our eyes lessened to a certain degree, showing pupils that were neither constricted nor dilated. The tension was still thick in between us but at least neither one of us wanted to start war in a heartbeat.
Raphael scrunched up his nose. He stood erect, ready to give me another blow of biblical words. “What God has joined, let no man or demon separate. They are destined for each other Aeshma. There is nothing you can do about it. You will be bound forever, locked away for all eternity. You know already that is your sentence. You have broken all the rules of the Heavenly Realm and most of all you have shed the blood of the innocent. You know I will have to exorcise you.”
I hissed. “Exorcise me if you want fool, but that won’t be enough. Nothing will keep me away from my Sarah.”
Raphael’s eyes suddenly softened. I knew then that he was reminiscing the good old days when we were best of friends. I pang of pain did hit my heart, but it wasn’t enough to make me feel sad. It actually made me feel disgusted.
“Aeshma, you must know that this is not what I wanted to happen. I have prayed over and over again that this is not the future of our friendship,” he stated after a long sigh.
“Spare me your pity, Raphael,” I scoffed. “I will fight you without hesitation, you know that already. I will struggle to the very last end, in vain or not.”
“Why? Why are you doing this Aeshma? Why do you fight even if you know already there is no happy future promised to you?”
I saw him ball up his hands tightly, clearly frustrated with my hardheadedness.
“I fight because my love for that woman is worth fighting for. She is my Sarah. My Dear Heart,” I answered with utter sincerity. There was no hint of tremble in my voice. No hint of fear. No hesitation. I even mentioned her name with a tenderness I bet not even Hell has ever heard before. “She is worth fighting for until the very end, Raphael. Until the very end.”
My ex best-friend closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them again, a single tear streamed down his cheeks.
Shit. Like I would be bent by such a weak show.
“I pity you,” he said with a saddened voice.
I held my head up high once again and looked down on him like he was a worm.
“Pity all you want Raphael. I don’t need it,” I replied, turning my face away from him and then teleporting back to the spacious hall where Tobias’ unexpected arrival was hailed with a lavish party.
I believe our civil conversation had ended. I know the next time I would meet him, it would be in our inevitable battle. What we had in the rooftop was our last conversation between good friends. Well, ex good friends.
Sarah made her entrance as one of the dancers in the banquet. I lurked in the shadow at a corner of the hall when she appeared.
As soon as I saw her, my heart went from chaotic to calm. She looked stunning in a white excessively-sequined Raqs Sharqi costume. The way she undulated her belly and shimmied her hips in time with the beating of the drums were a work of art. It was sensual and at the same time elegant.
It made me remember how she rode on top me in our recent love making last night. Yes. It was a wondrous night for both of us and that bliss would have been unending if it weren’t for the arrival of these intruders.
The people inside the hall watched the dancers as they coordinated their movements. They cheered and clapped their hands, obviously enjoying the scene.
I, however, noticed that they intentionally ignored Sarah. Even though she danced magnificently, their eyes averted hers when she passes them. I bet there was still tension inside these people’s minds with regards to her as being a murderer of husbands. They were looking at Tobias too, sending him brief glances of fear. Yes. Fear for his life for they had an inkling that Raguel would propose a marriage to Tobias with Sarah.
Of course. Fear for him you measly humans for I will give him a wedding gift: DEATH in the marriage bed.
Sarah made some curvaceous moves in a corner and danced her way back into the center. I was enthralled with her of course, but unfortunately, I wasn’t alone with this trance.
In the center of the banquet table was Sarah’s father, Raguel, together with Tobias whose eyes were fixed on her alone, just like me. They were discussing something, whispering the words in the ears.
Dammit. I bet this is all about her marriage to him.
At the back of Tobias was Raphael, sending me sharp looks. I smirked haughtily.
Yes. Give me sharp looks white-winged one. Like hell that would kill me.
As soon as Sarah finished the dance routine, Raguel called for her to join them in the banquet table. She did so obediently and sat to where his father pointed her to sit. It was next to fucking Tobias.
I gritted my teeth when I saw him skillfully kissed the back of her hand. Their eyes were glued in that single moment alone and my heart nearly exploded when I saw a brief twinkle in Sarah’s eyes. She hid a shy laugh together with a clear blush in her cheeks. I scorned it immediately.
I do know that this was the effect of what Raphael called destiny. Of course, she would feel an instant connection with this young handsome man because of it, but I still felt jealous.
Looking at Raphael, he promptly gave me a high-and-mighty smile. Seeing the works of destiny starting, I bet he was pleased with it. But, I am not one to be easily intimidated. Like I said, to hell with destiny.
I will make a new one with only me and Sarah together for eternity.
“Why?! Why didn’t you tell me the truth?!” I heard Sarah say.
She was back against the wall of her bedroom; her hands raised midair to block my advances. Her face was flushed. Her tears ran endlessly down her cheeks. Agony and betrayal was what I saw in her eyes. Her love and passion for me hazy.
For two days, the only thing I was able to do was steal a tiny time with her. And by tiny, I mean a few touch and kisses from her in the evening was all I could get. No lovemaking anymore.
She wanted it. She asked it from me, but every time it always comes to that point, the bastard archangel shows up and blinds me with his Holy Light.
Sarah was confused of my apparent detached state of course, but for some reason, she wasn’t as much as sad as she should be with our growing distance. Most likely because her heart was beginning to tip towards her destined man. That, of course, made me feel disappointed.
I hate that Raphael was able to deny me my rightful time with Sarah by using Tobias. The young man was so eager on wooing her. They were together almost the whole day for two days and I could only watch in the sidelines with jealousy.
Raguel was pleased with the events, so pleased that he proposed Tobias the wedding date to be held during the full moon, which would be apparently a day from now.
I am not one to back away without a fight, but I never did know that Raphael had another plan in mind to ultimately cripple me. He, without my knowledge, visited Sarah through a dream and told her the whole truth; from the first murder, down to the last in my hands.
Fast forward to the present, this is exactly why Sarah shouted at me in anger, demanding me to answer why I didn’t tell her that I am the culprit of the murders.
“I am afraid that you will hate me,” I started in a weak voice. Amidst being a supernatural entity, I am surprisingly vulnerable to this emotion. Damn my rotten heart for this!
“Yes. I am the cause of your suffering. It is by my hands that the pain in your heart existed. But I did so because I love you, Sarah. I love you. You are mine alone. No man is meant for you, not even Tobias.”
“How could you say that Aeshma. I thought you, most of all, understand the affliction I have! I never expected you are the cause of everything I have been going through!”
I stepped closer, trying to close the gap between us. It tore my heart seeing her like this. I had promised myself to make sure she wouldn’t cry anymore, but now this has happened! Damn you Raphael!!! Damn you!!!
“Sarah... Dear Heart... please let me hold you,” I stated tenderly.
“Don’t come any closer!” she yelled, frighteningly alarming for my taste. I saw hatred immediately flamed inside her eyes; hatred that was directed to me. “Don’t you dare touch me with your bloodied hands! You are supposed to be my Guardian Angel, not the bringer of pain!”
She paused suddenly. Closing her eyes and shaking her head as if she was confused. After a moment of silence, she looked at me again.
My heart leaped when I saw a bit of hope. There was still a flicker of love in her beautiful hazel orbs that was for me alone.
“Aeshma... I love-” she choked, trying her hardest to make her words clearer. I would have kissed her then if it wasn’t for my self-control. I wanted to hear her say it, even if it means painful for me
“I love you, but...it is...it is over. We are over. I have Tobias who loves me true. Please leave me, Aeshma. Leave me be...”
If my world was already dark ever since I became a Fallen Angel, now it was so much more. Not only was it dark, it also had an emptiness more than sadness and loneliness can hold. I couldn’t explain it myself but maybe I could call this as my own personal Hell.
When she said ‘leave me be,’ it was it. It was my cue that a pure soul had just rejected me. My Dear Heart had just rejected me...
I closed my eyes, stood stoic in front of her and heaved a breath.
I heard her sob against the wall, relieving all of her pain in a cold hard object instead of my warm chest. I wanted to hold her, embrace her, lick those tears away but I refrained. Instead, I set up my mind to transport myself in another place away from her in order to block out the unbearable sobs from my ears.
"I am the one who loves you true.”
Those were my last words before I teleported myself away from her bedroom.