And Saturday morning comes around so quickly. I hold my coffee mug with both hands and stand leaning against the back of the armchair, looking outside. The garden seems alive with the autumn colour, the deep reds and golden yellows playing against the different shades of green. Nature is present with an explosion of colour this time of the year. You can’t look at it and be sad about the upcoming winter months. You can only enjoy it.
I feel something in the pocket of my cardigan. I fish it out. The paper with the address and phone number I have already learned by heart. The handwriting I know so well. I put it back in my pocket. My hands tremble, and I force myself to take a deep breath. It will be okay.
I hear the key in the door.
‘It’s only me!’
I smile fondly. She always says that as if I could be expecting anyone else to let themselves into my home with a key. Cindy trots her way to the living room, heels chatting on the parquet.
‘Are you okay, Maddy?’
She draws near and places her arm around my shoulder so lightly I can barely even feel it there.
‘Have you told Ben where you are going today?’ I shake my head.
She looks ahead, purses her lips and nods slowly. I don’t need to consult with Ben. I can go and see Kyle on my own, even after all this time. We are not strangers.
I can hear the postman. Cindy lets go of her featherweight touch around my shoulders and hurries down the corridor to the front door. I can hear the flap cracking, she is picking up the post. A moment of silence and then the shredder.
We hear Lucy’s car beeping outside.
I nod and push myself off the armchair. I still wobble a bit, after two months, but my leg is much better.
‘I’m ready.’ I smile up at her.