Shattered Moon

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Now

Dear past, thank you for all the lessons,

Dear future, I’m ready

I have spent months analysing why Kiri happened to me, why I attracted such an experience into my life. What were the lessons I needed to learn? I’m still not sure of the whys exactly, but I know I have grown immensely from what happened with him.

I suppose I still have some feelings for him. He has been a very significant part of my life. But now these feelings are more of a melancholic affection for a dream that never was, than anything more profound. I’m grateful to him for all I had to go through at his hands. Thanks to him I have found a path where I can help many lost souls.

I’m writing a book about what happened to me, in the hope that others will understand how easy it is to get trapped in these warped relationships and how hard it is to walk away from them. I hope people will be able to identify the early signs of a toxic bond and to walk away before it is too late.

My speeches at the Town Hall also address a variety of people affected by similar experiences. I know I’m helping because I know I would have been so grateful for something like this when I felt so alone, so confused and in so much pain.

I want them to know that there is help out there. We don’t have to do life on our own.

How did I get better? One day at the time. There is no magic formula, no miracle pill to get you out of the gut-wrenching sensation of loss, pain and grief.

I have been lucky to have come out on the other side, and the world is a much better place from where I stand now.

I will never have closure. I have just moved on.

Life has started again. I pass the mirror in the hall, and I steal a look at myself. My complexion is clear, my eyes are bright, the faint hint of makeup gives me a healthy glow. I straighten up, smile at my reflection and head for the front door. I don’t limp anymore. I slip on my shoes and grab my coat. I smile my biggest smile as I turn to lock my front door and I stroll purposely down the path to the waiting car.

Kyle is in the driver’s seat. He is taking me to the Town Hall for my next talk. Maddy is back! Life, I’m ready!

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