Chapter 1 (Edited)
“Didn’t I tell you don’t look for me woman!” Ru Feng slaps Li Na hard. Her big, fat body smashed onto the ground produced a loud sound that made Ru Feng cringe with disgust. He wiped his hand that touched Li Na’s face with his sleeves. So disgusting!
A line of blood flowed out of Li Na’s mouth and the slap’s mark began to appear on her pale face. It looked so terrible and tears fell from her eyes, automatically. With her trembling hand, she tried to touch her face but it seems too painful and the sound of sobs became louder.
“Why did you do this to me? You promised to love and take care of me. Don’t you remember?” Li Na screamed at Ru Feng. She can’t believe he dared treat her like this. She has done everything just to be with him and now he left her!
“You mean that promise years ago? I don’t even remember it. You think with your ugly and horrible appearance would make me look at you? Do you live in a dream?” Ru Feng snickered at the silly fat woman in front him.
A woman came and pulled Ru Feng’s hand, “Hubby, who is this?” The woman looked so pretty and sexy. She frowned when looking at the miserable Li Na. Her eyes were full of disgust.
Li Na recognizes that the incoming woman is Ru Feng’s assistant. Li Na can see how on her skin, it was fully marked with red hickeys and it made her heart felt intense pain like being stabbed by a thousand needles.
“Nobody. She is just a crazy fan trying to get my attention”. Ru Feng holds the girl’s waist and kissed her right in front of Li Na’s face.
“MMhhmm....” The moans and the smacking sound produced from the vibration between their lips are like poison, eating her heart bit by bits.
Li Na’s hearts trembled so hard. She cannot accept how Ru Feng can do this to her. She came into this cruise just because she heard that Ru Feng would be joining it.
Even getting this information costed her greatly because as a famous actor, Ru Feng’s information was just too expensive. She remembered how hard she tried to help him before he became a famous superstar.
As he couldn’t afford to hire a manager, she volunteered herself to be the one to manage his schedule and participate in choosing the best script for him. Whenever he came home and felt tired, she would massage him. She even learned the cooking skill so she can fed him well.
She did a lot for him and even to the extent of satisfying his sexual desire. Ru Feng didn’t like to use protection so she willingly let him do it without the condom.
After a few intercourses, she ended up pregnant even though at that time she had taken the birth control pill. Her body was too fertile and easy to conceive.
The abortion procedure was too painful for her but still, she withstood the torture so she can stay with him.
Actually, she didn’t want to do the abortion when they first had it and had asked for marriage from Ru Feng. However, Ru Feng continued persuading her to do it and even handled the procedure for her.
He said that they could not keep the child because of his economic situation and he was afraid their child will suffer because of poverty.
The first abortion she had done was too painful. At the end of surgery, Li Na burst into tears after looking at the dead fetus coming out from below her.
But with the promise that Ru Feng will take care of her whenever his income stabilized, she kept believed in him and stayed working with him. Although it’s called working, she didn’t even have a wage.
After earning some money, he rented a small house for them to take shelter. Ru Feng promised to buy a better and bigger house for them once he becomes a bit more popular and yes, Li Na still believed in him.
When she became pregnant with their second child, still Ru Feng persuaded her to abort it. Li Na tried to refuse and swore that she would be the one to raise the child but Ru Feng refused with agitated manner.
Li Na still remembered the words he roared that day, “Didn’t I tell you to do it! Just do it. Are you deaf? Stupid!”
At that time Li Na still had a hot temper so she fought back, “No way! This is our child. I am going to raise it. Even if you don’t want to take care of him, it’s fine. I can do it myself” Li Na screamed and immediately bolts away from their small house.
Li Na never thought that her wrist would be jerked hardly by Ru Feng until she fell on the ground. “You dare to challenge me? Just do what I ask you to do, slut!” Before she stood up, Ru Feng pushed her back onto the ground and started kicking her to release his rage.
Li Na held her small belly to protect the child in her stomach but the impacts from Ru Feng’s beating was too great. Her womb was affected and the trauma made the blood from her womb leaked down to her leg.
After his temper released, Ru Feng left her alone in the house. With that weakened condition, she called for an ambulance and then fainted as it took all her energy to do that.
Waking up she had found out that she had a miscarriage while beside her, Ru Feng kept crying and asking for forgiveness. Li Na turned her head away from him and ignored him.
Just like amending his mistakes, Ru Feng would took care of her relentlessly until the beard grew unevenly on his face, showing how miserable he had become.
His persistent apologies softened Li Na’s heart and finally, she accepted him back. This time she compromised. Whenever she became pregnant, she would silently agree to do the abortion procedure to avoid Ru Feng’s uncontrollable temper.
Those repeated abortions just make her body numb to pain and gradually she accepted the abortion-crime as a part of her life. She doesn’t know how many times she had killed the fetus since it was too numerous to count.
The days of killing finally stopped. The doctor came and told her that she would no longer able to bear the child. Her uterus was scarred and damaged due to multiple abortions.
The hospital’s record doesn’t state the true amount she has done since sometimes they did it at an illegal clinic.
Li Na burst into tears! She was no longer able to become a mom. Grievance and sadness emotion kept hammered her heart.
In that state of depression sometimes she can hear a loud wailing of babies in an empty house. She was scared and tried to reach for Ru Feng but since he was so busy filming, he was not able to accompany her.
Thus, she called her best friend to help her. If the days kept going like this, Li Na felt like she was going to be crazy!
Then, with the help of her best friend’s consultant, as a result, she bought a lot of antidepressant medications and sleeping pills to sleep.
Unknowingly those drugs made her body heavier and bigger due to hormone imbalance. By the time Li Na looks at the mirror, she shrieked in fear! She couldn’t recognize herself.
It had made her further drowned in depression thus, she continued taking the pills to calm down. The time for Ru Feng returning home also became lesser and lesser until he no longer returned.
Li Na tried to call him but his new assistant would pick up and say that he was busy. Then, asked her to stop disturbing him. But relentlessly, she called him again and again whenever she had a depression attack.
Before he completely blocked her, Ru Feng called Li Na to stop bothering and searching for him anymore. He wanted to focus on his acting career.
Since Li Na cannot call him anymore, she tried her best to look for his information. After becoming a popular actor, never had she thought that Ru Feng has a big house under his name. He didn’t even invite her there.
So after knowing Ru Feng joined a hosting program on a cruise ship, she dragged her heavy body and sneakily entered the ship to confront with him.
But the truth breaks her heart. All of her efforts were just meaningless. Ru Feng never appreciated her. While those two animals were kissing, Li Na asked, “Why did you do this to me? What did I do wrong?”. Her tears flowed continuously.
Ru Feng stops kissing his assistant and smirks, “It’s your fault because you left me years ago for wealth”. Ru Feng said with madness. He still remembers how that day he was begging Li Na to follow him to the city and even kneeling for her. But Li Na didn’t even turn back.
He screamed for her and even called her every day but ended up being blocked. Sometimes he even wished to die because he loved her too much. His whole being was hurt.
He even had to take antidepressant medicine to gain back his spirit and came back for revenge. Yes, revenge!
He wanted Li Na to feel the same way he felt. That desperation and sadness. All of it. So when he went to the city, he tried so hard to gain fame.
Admitting that he was poor, so Li Na would suffer is his revenge. Making her cry because of pain is his revenge. Let her take antidepressant medicine is his revenge. Yes, everything is for revenge. She needed to feel the same way he felt before.
“Didn’t you know that I was forced?” Li Na cried harder. She can’t believe that Ru Feng still holds onto that past until now.
“You had a choice but you still chose that decision. This is your punishment.”. Ru Feng laughs. Now he feels satisfied. He holds his assistant’s waist and moves to his room.
“No! No! No!". Li Na shakes her head. Everything is too much for her to bear. She immediately chases after Ru Feng and tries to beat him.
His assistant tried to stop her but Ru Feng gives the signal for her to leave.
Seeing the messy Li Na that tried to move erratically to beat him made him feel repulsed and with a slight wave of the hand, he pushed her.
Because Li Na’s footing was not stable, she ended up falling. However, since they were at the cruise’s deck, her body fell backward and dropped into the ocean.
Realizing the dangerous situation, Li Na tried to reach for Ru Feng’s hand but he ignored her just like how Li Na ignored him and he watched her fall.
Li Na’s body fell into the ocean. She didn’t know how to swim, so her desperation movement only made her body sunken lower into the deep ocean.
Water came inside her lungs each time she tried to breathe and suffocated her until her body no longer able to move.