Chapter 19 - A Touch Of Greed
Lips softly caress, so tenderly, so lightly. Do dare I say even lovingly?
This moment is profound to the mind and soul.
It saturates a spot into my memories, creating a permanent stain. A pillar of fortitude of endearment that’ll remind me of how momentous he can make me feel.
I’m cherished, satisfied. A happiness blooms inside my tummy, sending tiny sparks of excitement down the skin of my arm.
My fingers curl into the fabric of his shirt with my palms resting on upper chest. I feel nervous, the way we’re kissing is frightening on some level because of my lack of experience.
Is it the same for him?
I wouldn’t know.
After all, it’s his lead that I’m following and he seems to be sure of what he’s doing. The first time we kissed didn’t seem as scary as this. Perhaps it was the suddenness of it all. However, now that I have time to process this new found intimacy I find my doubts getting the best of me.
The firmness of Alessio’s hands on my back travel lower. It’s with meticulous movements that he reaches the curve of my backside.
A tension crawls up my spin, awaiting his next move.
He steps forward and I find myself pressing more into the rose hedge, the soft petals acting as a plush wall to hold me gently.
Our lips continue, a haste picking up that takes all my concentration. I lose focus of what’s around me. The running water, wind, birds chirping, it all fades into nothing.
This is serenity.
A sweet tranquility.
The blush that warms my cheeks flares higher. Alessio’s, who tastes ever so sweet, holds me closer to his body. Ever so slowly the nerves begin to creep away and are replaced with a fiery hunger that I’ve only felt briefly before.
The private place between my legs starts to dampen, wetting the cotton of my underwear, it’s small but it’s enough to make me clench my thighs. I’m starting to become extremely flustered and the feeling has me shifting my feet to avoid the overwhelming sensation.
I’m not given the chance to dwell on the thought for long. Suddenly the hands that sit comfortably on my lower back slide down to cup my backside. Shocked by the bold action I let out a moan of surprise that’s muffled by our locked lips.
As for Alessio, well I think he’s misread my response because before I know it his hands cup the back of my thighs and lifts me up into the air. Instantly my arms wrap around his neck for security, afraid that I’ll go tumbling away. I’m pushed into the hedge even more as he deepens our kiss. It’s hard to keep up, but the way he feels against me is intoxicating.
My thoughts scatter from the way his body molds into mine.
These few seconds entrap me, blurring the line of reasoning.
It isn’t until my thighs open wider and I feel the space between my legs comes into contact with something hard do my sense come back. The unexpected prodding has me completely whipping my head back, forcefully tearing our lips apart that leaves a sting.
My heart beats wildly, pounding so loudly through my veins that I feel the rhythm vibrating against my eardrums.
Alessio’s eyes lock on mine, our chests heaving for air. But unlike him, I’m able to look away. My focus shifts to his lips, they look plump, swollen and tinted a dark hue of pink.
Did I do that?
Emotions of all sorts consume me. I feel like I’m drowning with shock and embarrassment when I realize that he’s still holding me at the close proximity. I don’t dare move a muscle from below my waist, the pressure between my legs is still there.
And it feels sinfully good.
“I...um... y-you should... I need to get down.” Forming a coherent sentence is lost on me. Timidly
I break eye contact and slightly lower my head to avoid his gaze. Alessio hasn’t let me down yet, he’s still as a marble statue and that’s when I begin to contemplate.
Self-consciously I think of my weight, I must be a little heavy. I know this because when I had my last physical my doctor said that I’m a few pounds over than what I’m supposed to be for my height. Though it’s nothing severe, it’s still something that makes me feel uneasy. My mother said it’s nothing to worry about, that having weight on your legs, stomach, or arms isn’t something to beat yourself over as long as you’re doing your best to be healthy. Yet despite understanding that, I’m still trying to work on my own self-acceptance.
Embarrassment dreadfully attacks my mind as the tone of my voice drops. “Please put me down,” hastily whispering, “I’m... too heavy.” Unable to face him now that I’ve re-opened those thoughts I shamefully drop my head lower.
“Cherry,” Alessio interrupts my sulking before it even begins, “the way you are is perfect.” It’s without hesitation that he says this, a completely natural statement. His breath hits softly against the skin of my cheek. It leaves a tickling effect that makes me purse a shy smile away. “You’re perfect,” reiterating in a voice that’s barely audible.
The muscles in my face relax, tension fading away from the kindness of his words.
I’ve always been expected to act perfect, but to be told your image by itself is already perfect brings out an emotion that makes the uncertainty lessen. instead, I let go of the suppression and coyly smile.
Lifting my head up to meet his mossy green eyes I say, “thank you.”
Alessio’s adam’s apple bobbles slightly. Carefully his hands on the back of my thighs slide away as he bends down to set me on the plush grass.
That unique smile that I’ve become so fond of smally stretches upon his lips as well.
Now we both share a smile that’s not too wide nor too small — but perfect as is.
“You’re too kind,” still appreciating his compliment, “even if I probably don’t deserve it.”
I can tell his words are honest, yet for some apparent reason the smile on his face gradually falls and is replaced with a questioning look after my sentence is finished.
There’s uncertainty....Doubt swims in moss of his irises.