“Damn, what a week,” Ben says with a long sigh as he drops down on my couch next to me and puts his arm around my shoulder. “I’m sorry I didn’t have more time for you.” He gently kisses my forehead, and I snuggle up to him, relaxing instantly.
After a week that dragged on forever, it’s finally Friday; the first day where Ben and I spend time together outside of work. We had a hard time keeping our hands off each other during that time, but after our quick encounter yesterday, we managed to behave ourselves.
“It’s okay. You’re here now.” I rest my head on his chest, and I can hear the steady beating of his heart.
Ben hugs me a little tighter. I look at him, and he lowers his head to give me a tender kiss on my lips. All it takes is this simple gesture to stir emotions that are so deeply buried within me that I fear they are no longer there, but Ben quickly broke through all the walls I’ve built up. All it took was one look, and these walls were already crumbling.
But suddenly, a different feeling surfaces. The bad feeling that I’m hiding something from Ben. My past. I release from the embrace and turn to him. “Hey, Ben–”
He looks at me expectantly. Damn, I can’t do this.
Ben cups my face with his hand and strokes my cheek with his thumb. “What’s up, Princess?”
I take a deep breath. “There is something I have to tell you – about my past and the reason why I left.” I avert my eyes and sigh.
Ben raises my chin and makes me look at him. “Hey, it’s fine. You can tell me everything.”
“I know – but it’s difficult to talk about,” I say as I nervously play with my hands.
Ben puts his hand on mine and gently strokes my fingers with his thumb. “You don’t have to tell me everything right away. I’m sure I already know everything important about you. I don’t need to know who you were. I trust you.”
Ah, shit! Why does he have to be so sweet? “Oh, Ben,” I sigh with tears in my eyes. “I don’t know what to say. What happened in my past – it took me a damn long time to get over it, and I am still working on it. I was hurt very much, and I didn’t think I would ever be able to trust a man again.”
Ben gently puts his hand on my cheek and wipes away a tear with his thumb. “Princess, you can trust me. I would never hurt you.”
I look at Ben, and in his eyes I see honest concern, and again it’s those eyes that captivate me. Whenever I think I’m entirely out of my mind for rushing into this, I remember the way he looks at me and how that makes me feel. It’s like I’m the only woman that matters.
With a sigh, Ben leans over and brushes his lips over mine. The softness of his touch enchants me and makes me want to be closer to him, as close as possible. We lie back on the couch, his body on top of mine, his hands slowly exploring my body. Ben leaves tender kisses along my jaw and my neck before our lips meet again in a slow and deep kiss, with his tongue caressing mine.
This is very different from our first intimate encounters, not driven by lust and desire, but by something much more profound. It’s not some carnal need we’re satisfying, but something that I can’t quite explain yet, and it feels just as intense when we slowly and sensually explore each other’s bodies.
While we kiss, Ben wraps his arms around me, and I gasp in surprise when he suddenly lifts me up with ease and carries me over to my bedroom and gently lays me down on my bed where he continues his soft and tender kisses that make me moan softly.
Piece by piece, our clothing hits the floor, until we’re completely skin to skin. Ben pushes himself up on his hands and looks at me with a sexy smile on his face. I can’t help but smile, too. “What?” I ask him.
Ben lower his head to kiss my neck, over to my ear where he whispers, “You’re beautiful.”
His words cause a blissful shiver to rush through my whole body with astonishing intensity. I have never felt anything like this with another man, and no one has managed to make me feel safe with such simple words and gestures.
I cup his face with my hands, and my lips find his in another deep and passionate kiss that makes my heart race even faster. My desire for him grows exceedingly when his body slips between my legs and he runs his mouth along my burning skin, down to that part of my body that’s screaming for more attention. My moans get louder the closer his lips come to my hot center, and I grab the sheets and writhe underneath his mouth that’s doing marvelous things to me. My erratic breathing makes my chest rise and fall rapidly, and Ben’s hand that’s playing with my hard and sensitive nipples is hardly able to hold me down, even less when I feel his fingers inside me.
In no time, I can’t bear the tension anymore that’s building up in my body, and I scream his name when an incredible climax passes through me. As I’m panting, Ben kisses his way up to my ear. I put my arms around his strong shoulders and pull myself closer to him.
Ben whispers, “I love it that I can put such a smile on your face.”
I laugh. “You’re so conceited. Who says you did that?”
Ben looks at me and strokes a strand of hair out of my face. “I can prove that to you again. And while we’re at it, I’ll also prove that you do beg.” He grins at me, and I push him over which of course only works because he allows it.
I sit up and look at him with a seductive smile. “I think it’s time for you to beg.”
I cover his body with kisses, over his chest and down to his impressively hard length. I wrap my lips around him and swirl my tongue. I stroke him and suck with increasing pace, and – surprise – Ben begs as well. “Amy,” he moans as I slow down a little, “damn, that’s – I – oh, please!”
I chuckle, and before I can react, Ben sits up, grabs me and turns me around, so he’s on top of me again. His body slips between my thighs, and his hands grab my hips. He looks deep into my eyes. We both breathe hastily as I put my hands on his and push my pelvis towards him.
And then, finally, with a gentle push, he slides in. Ben’s deep and sexy hum vibrates through my body, only adding to the sensation of him moving back and forth, over and over. I move with him, and it doesn’t take us long to find a common rhythm. A beautiful rhythm that takes me to places that I’ve never been before.
The intensity with which I’m feeling him deep inside me is overwhelming. And not only deep inside my body, but inside my heart and soul, too. This man has already changed me forever, and I don’t want to ever let him go.
Some time later, we lie on my bed side by side, or rather on top of each other. My head rests on his chest, our legs are entwined, and Ben has his arms wrapped around me. It’s a peaceful and quiet moment while we’re slowly coming down from yet another one of those blissful highs.
As we lie there, a thought flashes through my head. “Ben?”
I sit up and look at him. His eyes are closed.
“You said last week you didn’t want to lose me as a friend; that had happened to you before. What did you mean by that?”
Ben opens his eyes and looks at me for a moment.
He sits up, too, and sighs. “Hm, there was a time in my life when I didn’t ignore all the phone numbers I got. I went out with a lot of women – I slept with some – nothing that I’m proud of today–” He pauses and averts his eyes.
I take his hand. “And then came the one who changed all that?”
He looks at me again, grimacing, and shrugs his shoulders. “Yeah – she was different from the others. I was convinced it wasn’t just a physical thing between us. We got along so well. We talked late into the night without sleeping together. I fell for her, hard. And then we had sex, and plenty of it.”
Ben shakes his head at the memory and laughs ironically. “I was under her spell. I was sure she felt the same way. But after a short time, things started to change. It turned out to be just something physical after all. All of a sudden, she had enough of me. I lost her, and she broke my heart.”
I can’t deny that I feel a sting in my chest at the thought of Ben’s past. I don’t want to think about how many women he has been with. And certainly not about how one of them broke his heart.
“Oh, Ben, I am sorry. Now I understand your hesitation. I was such an idiot, pushing you!” I feel horrible suddenly. I cover my face with my hands and shake my head.
Ben takes my hands in his and raises my chin. “Amy, look at me.”
My eyes are closed, and I hardly dare open them.
I open my eyes and am surprised how gently and lovingly Ben looks at me. “You have not pushed me into anything. I wanted it just as much as you did. And if I hadn’t been sure that it was a different story with you, I would have left.”
I frown. “Really?”
He buries his hand in my hair and pulls me close for a gentle and loving kiss that matches the look in his eyes. I almost melt away and lean back. Ben follows me and lies down on top of me, his leg slipping between mine. He deepens the kiss, and my hands roam over his strong shoulders.
I have to chuckle. “Hm.”
Ben stops and looks at me. “Hm?”
My hand wanders over his muscular chest to his growing erection.
He kisses me again, more passionately and demanding. “Hmmm, just ignore that–”
He could also tell me to stop breathing.
So this is how we spend most of the night. We explore each other’s bodies and enjoy the closeness. Sometimes tenderly, sometimes passionately, and when I eventually fall asleep in Ben’s arms, I can only think about how I’ve never felt or experienced anything like this before.