When my gut told me that something was going to happen, I should have listened and just sit my ass in the hotel room—hibernate until the storm was over. Yet, I deliberately ignored my gut feeling and went out of the room.
My mother had ordered me to sit in and enjoy a family night. Everyone was here in the mini bar of the venue drinking away. Axel got pulled away from my brother and dad once again to go drinking. They are growing fond of him. I am once again left alone sitting in a circle of women.
Everyone seemed to have fun conversing back and forth. I seem to be the one left out of the conversation. Always the odd ball. I sighed and leaned back in the plush sofa semi-circle sofa. My mother was on the other side talking to Aunt Vee. By the way she was pointing at her face and picking up her phone to show Aunt Vee, I’m pretty sure they were talking about some glamour crap.
It’s been a couple of days and the wedding is fast approaching. There will be one final dinner before the wedding. I couldn’t wait to go back home.
A hushed sound spread throughout the group I was in. My eyes found their way back to the rounds of beautiful girls in front of me. They were all looking a certain way. My eyes followed their line of sight until I saw Axel talking to Christina again. My gut churned with jealousy.
“God, I think she is going to do it.” One of the ladies giggled.
“He’s so fucking hot.” One slurred.
“Do you think he will go for it?”
“Of course! Have you seen Christina? She’s hot. No man can resist her.”
My jaw clenched. Don’t they know that he is mine? I squashed that thought the second it came rolling to the front of my mind. I don’t know if he was but a small part of me hope that he is. That this was more than just a fling.
“Oh my god!” One squealed and everyone started hopping out of their seat.
My eyes found their way back to Axel and Christina. Axel was getting up from his seat and following Christina out of the room. My heart twisted in my chest. Christina had her hand intertwined through Axel as she led him out. She turned back to us and her eyes found me. She smirked.
It was like a knife to the heart. A voice in my head screamed at me. Told me I should have listened. I shouldn’t have given Axel what he wanted. He didn’t love me. He didn’t care about me. I was too easy.
My mother’s words followed soon after. Telling me I’m too fat. I should have started her exercise program. Suddenly, the sweet wine in my mouth turned bitter and I clenched the damn wine glass in my hands tighter.
Everything around me was spinning. My heart was bleeding. All my insecurities came bursting to the surface. My eyes went back to the exit of the room and they were long gone.
It can’t be. Axel wouldn’t do this. I needed to hold onto this last hope.
I stood up and followed them. Emery stepped out and stopped me.
“Where do you think you are going?” She accused.
“I just have to check on Axel.” I told her.
She scoffed, “You haven’t paid one attention to my wedding. If you are going to be like this then why bother even coming?”
I pushed her aside before walking towards the exit. Once I was out, I glanced around the lobby. Christina had Axel pushed up against a wall. Her arms around him. Her face was clearly all up in his.
I dropped the wine glass and it shattered on the marble flooring. Servers came running to help me out. A few asked me if I was okay but all I could see was Christina and Axel. It broke whatever they were doing because Christina pulled back and Axel saw me. His eyes widening when he realized I saw everything.
I made a dash for it.
I ran up the steps towards the hotel room.
“Ryleigh!” He shouted and ran after me.
I couldn’t. Him calling me was like me listening to nails on a chalkboard. It was killing me inside. I made it to the top step. He was halfway up the stairs.
“Ryleigh! Stop!” He shouted.
“Fuck you, Axel!” I shouted as I ran for the room. I opened it quickly with my key as he rounded the corner. I slammed it shut and locked it even though I knew he had the key but it was one more barrier between him and me. I ran into the bathroom and slammed it closed just the second he opened the door with his key.
“Ryleigh! Open up!” His fist slammed against the door.
“Leave me the fuck alone!” I screamed, covering my ears.
“I swear to god, if you don’t open this fucking door I’m going to break it down.” He threatened, his voice shaking.
“Just leave me alone! Leave me alone! I don’t want to hear your fucking lies.” I growled angrily, slamming my fist onto the counter. I began pacing the bathroom floor.
“I’m going to break this door down.” He finalized.
I glanced at it and waited.
A second later, the door threatened to break under his weight.
What the hell? The asshole was for real.
“Stop!” I shouted.
“Open this door!” He growled.
I opened the door and glared at him, “What the hell do you want?”
“It wasn’t what you think...” He started.
“Oh please, save me your lies. I know how you are, Axel. I should have known. We have been friends for so long. I should have known that once you got what you wanted, you would do the same thing to me. You played me well and I didn’t even know it. I fell for it just like every other girl.” I pushed him hard in the chest. He stumbled back into the wall.
“Damn it, Ryleigh, listen to me.” He grabbed my arms as I walked past him into the bedroom. Spinning me around he gripped my arms to hold me in place.
“I know what you are going to tell me. That it wasn’t what it looked like. She wasn’t sucking your face off and you two were just talking. I saw how close you two were and it sure as hell looked like you weren’t pushing her away. You’re a fucking asshole, Axel.” My hurt turning into anger. I pounded his chest over and over.
“It isn’t what you think it was. She came on to me, yes, but I didn’t accept her advances. You came in just when she did it. I didn’t even know she will do it. I was buzzing already from the shots your dad and brother gave me. It took me a minute to get over the shock.” He tried explaining but I was too angry. Too far gone.
How can I believe him? He’s always been a player. He came over nights and tells me stories about girls he dropped like they were candies he was picking out. I’ve seen girls crying.
“You think I’ll believe you? I know your M.O., Axel. You fuck with their heads until they can’t think. Then you throw them out like they are nothing.” I pushed him harder. “Get the hell out! I don’t want to see you right now.”
“No you will listen to me!” He shook me hard.
I glared at him and shoved him again, “Let me go!”
“I don’t know why you can’t see what I see? Is it really that hard, Ryleigh? To see that you aren’t what they see you as. You are fucking beautiful and I’m not fucking lying. You’re so fucking insecure that you can’t even think for one second that maybe—maybe that you are amazing just the way you are. That you don’t need to be skinny to be fucking beautiful?” Axel was angry now. His fingers digging into my arms as he held on tight.
“You are so fucking insecure that you can’t see pass what you picture me as. You have me in this fucking picture in your head. It’s your safe bubble. You rather look at me that way than see me in any other way. You are so fucking insecure. I’m tired of trying to prove-”
I slapped him. Hard.
“Get out.” I didn’t want to hear anything else. I couldn’t. It hurt too damn much.
Axel’s face was red with my hand print. He looked broken like I had yanked his heart out of his chest. A part of me whimpered and wanted to take it all back but I couldn’t. The wound...the image...the words were so fresh and raw. It hurt to even look at him.
“Fuck this.” He grabbed his clothes and started shoving them into his luggage.
“What are you doing?” Tears running down my cheeks. I looked at him.
“I’m done with this.” He muttered.
“Axel...” I started.
“No, I’m done, Ryleigh. I’m done trying to show you that you are better than what everyone wants to make you see yourself as. I am done trying to show you that I am not that person you see me as.” He shoved the last of his clothes into his luggage and started for the door. I grabbed onto his wrist.
“Axel, you said we will still be friends.”
There was a long pause, but he won’t even look at me. His back was stiff, and I felt him pulling away. My heart was breaking into a million pieces. I am grabbing at what I had left.
“I can’t. I can’t be your friend.” He said quietly before walking out the door.
He slammed it shut behind him and I fell to the floor. I should have listen to my gut feeling. I knew that something was going to go wrong. I knew that this will not last. My heart felt like it was being ripped apart. The sob that left my body hit me like waves.
A small part of me, hoped that he will call me back. That this isn’t the end. That he will come back because this was Axel but as minutes turns into hours. I knew that Axel wasn’t coming back that I pushed him away.
Axel was gone.