I feel is made up of three things
& despair -Fitesh Khanna.
I stayed sitting on the porch until Cooper showed back up. I walked out to meet him and get my baby. He was fast asleep in his car seat and Cooper pulled out two bags. "I thought you might like to stay here with your mother a couple of days. I packed a bag for you and Sam." He said. I just shook my head. He always knew what I needed. "I can't stay with you sweetheart. I've got to work, but I'll stay tonight with you." He said to me. I reached over and kissed him.
"Thank you Coop. I love you." I said. He smiled at me, but I could see the worry on his face. We walked in the front door to find everyone sitting in the living room. My mothers eyes lit up as I sat the baby down next to her. Cooper sat the bags down by the door. I sat next to my mother as she pulled the blankets away from Sam.
"Chloe, he is beautiful. He looks just like you." She said.
"Thank god." Cooper said sitting next to me. Hunter was lost in thought with Tim on his lap.
"Do you want to hold him? I asked my mother. She nodded at me.
"I might not give him back." She said. I smiled and pulled Sam out of the car seat. I gave him a little squeeze before I handed him over. He was the only thing in my life that I knew was set in stone. He was my world no matter what happens. She took him in her arms. I smiled, it hurt that she missed my pregnancy and the birth, but at least I was here now and Sam was only two months old. My mother stood up and walked over to Hunter. Both Cooper and I watched her. "Hunter, would you like to hold him?" She asked. I caught my breath. Hunter looked up at my mother like she was nuts. He put his arms out and took Sam in them. He held him close to his heart and my heart hurt. He looked so beautiful and peaceful holding Sam. I could also tell that Cooper was uncomfortable. I placed my hand on Cooper's leg and smiled at him. He relaxed some and smiled back at me.
I was sitting in the kitchen feeding Sam and I could tell Cooper was tired. "Mom, can you show Cooper the bedroom. I know he is tired and has to drive all the way back home in the morning." I said. Hunter and Tim had already left for the night. My mom's friend Richard had headed home as well. My mom nodded and Cooper followed her. I finished breast feeding Sam and got up with him asleep in my arms. I went and grabbed myself some water, when my mother came back in.
"He really is something else." She said.
"Who?" I asked her.
"Cooper, he really loves you Chloe." She said. "The way he stays by your side and watches over you. It's really amazing." She said. I smiled.
"Yeah, he has always been that way. He is very good to me mom." I said.
"I can tell Chloe, what are you going to do?" She asked me. I took a deep breath.
"I don't know." I said.
"Well you had best figure that out soon. The longer you wait the harder this is going to be." She said.
"Thanks mom, you're a huge help." I said. I headed out of the kitchen and down to my room. I found Cooper sitting on the side of the bed. He had Sam's bed all set up and I laid the baby down. He stayed asleep, thank god. I crawled into bed with Cooper, like I had for the last two years. He wrapped his arms around me.
"Can I ask you a question?" He said.
"Of course." I said.
"Can you can me about Hunter?" He asked.
"What do you mean?" I asked him.
"I know he is special to you. I want to know how much." He asked. I took a deep breath.
"I've known Hunter since elementary school. We were the best of friends.All the way to high school. That's when my family had to move to Florida. Hunter and I were always together. His home life wasn't the best and he spent most of his life with me and my family. He is a very good man considering what he has gone though. I fell in love with him, but I never let him know how I really felt. That was until I had to leave him. He was my first lover and after I left we didn't talk for ten years. When I came back home with my mother for my fathers funeral. We reconnected and I was still in love with him. When I had my accident I was on my way back to Florida to fix my life and come back to be with him." I said. Cooper stayed quiet. I just sat there and waited for him to say something.
"Do you still love him?" He asked me.
"Yes, I do." I said. I felt Cooper take a deep breath.
"Do you love me?" He asked. I sat myself up and looked him in the eyes.
"Yes Coop, I love you very much." I said and kissed his cheek. He smiled at me and grabbed my face. I felt his lips touch mine. He kissed me deeply.
"Where do we stand?" He asked.
"Coop, I love you and I love our life together, but I also love Hunter and I don't know what my life would be like with him in it. I'm so sorry I feel this way. I didn't know this would happen." I started to get upset again. I felt my tears start to fall. I knew no matter what that I had to be honest with both their hearts and my own. Cooper grab me close to him.
"Shh, sweetheart, this is not your fault, but your going to have to figure out what it is that you want. I think the best thing for you to do is spend some tie with Hunter." Cooper said.
"What?" I said sounding confused. He took a deep breath.
"I don't want for you to make a fast decision and choose me because were married with a baby. I don't want you to regret us later on down the road. You need to spend time with Hunter and make the right choice for you. I love you Chloe and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but I don't want you to be unhappy. This is what you need to do and I need you to take all the time you need to figure it out." He said. I couldn't believe my ears.
"I can't believe you would do something like this." I said.
"Chloe listen to me, none of this is fare to anyone of us and in the end someone is going to be hurt. It's most likely going to be you. I've got to do whats right. This has always been on my mind since the day I fell in love with you. I'll always be here for you." He said. M heart felt like it was breaking into a million pieces. Why was this man so good to me? What did I do to deserve this? Even though I knew what he was saying was the truth. It didn't make any of this any easier, but he was right. I needed time and I needed time with Hunter. I laid myself back down in the bed and I felt Cooper start to run his hand down the side of my body. It was something that I loved that he did to comfort me and help me sleep. I knew my dreams were going to be filled with the two of them. I closed my eyes and tried to get some sleep. The next morning I was awaken by Cooper getting ready to leave. He was sitting on the side of the bed quietly getting dressed. I sat up and smiled at him. "Good morning sweetheart." He said quietly. He stood up and walked over to me. "Sam has been feed and he is sleeping again. You should go back to sleep it's early." He said. "I'll be back in about three days." he said and I reached out and wrapped my arms around him.our lips found each other and we kissed for a long moment. He took a deep breath. "Don't forget me." He said.
"I could never do that." I said.
"I love you sweetheart." He said and walked out of the room. I took a deep breath and fell back to sleep with a broken heart. Later on that day I decided to go down to Hunters shop. My mother kept Sam for me. She really wanted time with him to bond and I needed to try to figure out my life. I haven't driven since the accident, but since I got all my memory's back. I wasn't afraid of anything any more. I took my mothers car down to Hunters shop. There were some cars parked in the front and I parked along side of them. I got out and made my way into his shop. I found him and in his office with some woman I had never seen before. She was a pretty young thing with dirty blond hair and a doll face full of freckles.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt things." I said. Both of them turned and looked at me. Hunters face lit up right away and he ran his hands though his hair. The woman just looked me up and down.
"Is this her?" She said. I cocked my head at her and then realized she must be Hunters girlfriend.
"I'm sorry I see your busy. I'll come back later." I said and started to leave.
"Chloe wait." Hunter said. I stopped and started to bite my lips.
"No really Hunter it's okay." I said.
"Chloe, Joey was just leaving. So wait a minute please." He said. Instead of saying a word. Joey just walked passed me fast and left. Shit, I said to myself. Hunter walked over to my side.
"I didn't mean to cause a problem for you." I said.
"What are you do here Chloe?" He asked me.
"I came to see you." I said.
"Wheres your husband?" He asked me.
"He headed back home this morning." I said.
"Why didn't you go with him?" He asked me. I turned to face him.
"Look Hunter, I'm sorry I interrupting your life, but I need to figure out mine. I came to see you and spend some time with you. I know this sounds selfish, but I don't know what to do. Cooper is giving me the time to figure out what I want. If you want me to go I'll go." I started to get loud and upset as the tears filled my eyes. Hunter turned to me and grabbed me into his arms.
"I'm sorry Chloe I didn't mean to upset you baby." I wrapped my arms around him. He held me and I felt so comfortable in his arms. It was so familiar to me. like it was where I was meant to be.
"If you don't want to do this I'll completely understand." I said. I felt him take a deep breath.
"I still love you so much Chloe, I'm willing to do whatever it is you need." He said. I felt like such a selfish bitch. How could I do this to these two wonderful men. I didn't deserve them. "Stop is Chloe." Hunter said. I pulled back and looked at him.
"Stop what?" I said.
"I know whats going on in that head of yours and this isn't your fault. Stop attacking yourself." He said. I almost forgot just just how well Hunter knew me. I just smiled at him and giggled as I placed my head back on his chest. I felt his fingers run though my hair. "You cut your hair." He said.
"I didn't have a choice. They shaved my head because of my head injury." I said. He took a deep breath.
"I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you." He said again. I could see the pain on his face.
"How could you of known?" I said to him.
"Chloe you were in the hospital all that...." He stopped talking for a moment. "Keven." He said. I looked up at him.
"What about him?" I said. "He was the one who searched the hospitals." He said.
"You don't think he would of left me there, do you?" I said.
"I don't know, but that just seems very funny to me." Hunter said. "I will get to the bottom of that." I knew the words Hunter spoke were the truth. When Hunter gets a hair up his ass about something. There's no stopping him.