Black Sorrow In Disguise

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Chapter 11


We pull apart and sit at our places. I do not believe I did it. But I don’t feel how I should have. No, I mean I feel nothing. I was now regretting it. Why did I do that? There is no reason I would have thought he is cute and lied him. Oh gosh, what am I thinking? But what did I just do? No shit I kissed him but I liked someone more. I realised it just as I kissed him. I did not feel the tingling when I kissed him. What has happened to me? The game ends.

“We will not play more?”

I ask.

“Why, Lettie you want to make out with us too...?”

Noah asks with a smirk. I hit him on the shoulder and we all laugh.

“Well Lettie, it was all planned, Sarah mind explaining?”

Josh says with a smile.

“Well this game was played with only one purpose, to make you two get close! You two are so dumb that you two would have never opened we decided to play this little game....”

Sarah ends.

“From when do you guys have the crush on each other?”

Josh asks.

“Like three-four days after we met...”

Chris says at once. I nod thinking about the decision I made.

“When did you guys know?”

I ask.

“Three days after that...”

They say all together.

“What are you thinking Lettie?”

Sarah asks.

“She is thinking that she missed a chance to kiss me.”

Noah smirks. I freeze there and think for a second. I replayed all the events in my head

“Gosh Guys I love you all....this was like the best birthday present...”

I say and hug them all. I just wanted to distract myself.

“So I don’t get a hug?”

Chris asks.


I say flatly.


Noah and Josh start fanning Chris.

“Fuck you two...”

Chris say sand they both laugh.

“Oh Chris, I am straight and am not interested in you. It is someone else so I will have to turn your offer down...”

Noah laughs.

Next day we are in class and Professor Catherine is on leave. Can’t believe my luck.

We are heading down to the hall when a boy from our Calculus class comes over to me and says:

“Uh.... Violet, um...c-can I ask you a question...from c-calculus....?”

It is Steve.


I say. I grab the pencil from his hand my hand touches his and he is blushing profusely. I tell him the answer and we head down.

“I am sure he likes you...”

Josh says.

“What! No....”

I say.

“Oh Vie he does...we know pretty well....He totally does!”

Sarah says. Chris is frowning.

“Oh....someone’s jealous...”

Noah says with a smirk.

After school finishes I go to a nearby park for some alone and calm time. Hey that black hair looks familiar. It’s Chris!

“Hey Chris-!”

I stop dead on my tracks a few feet away from him. He is kissing a girl! He looks up at me, ignores me and continued whatever the fuck he is doing. How can he? I freeze. Tears of anger and sadness fill my eyes. I put my hands on my face and run. Away from him, away from the girl, away from this world, away from me. As I am running away, I bump into someone.

“The hell happened Lettie?!”

I don’t look up cause I already knew who it was. I can run away from everything, everyone but I sure will bump into this Dumbo. I try to ignore him as I didn’t hear him or he wasn’t there. I continue walking but Noah grabs my hand from behind.

“Lettie, I swear I am not letting you go until- wait you are crying...Why are you crying? WHO THE HECK DARED TO MAKE YOU CRY?!!! Please jut tell me the name of that person and they would never dare to look a t you again. You got hurt?”

He asks looking at me. I shake my head.

“I-it’s Chris-!”

I stop. I can never finish this.

“What is he a bad kisser?”

He smirks and asks. I say nothing and he realises this is serious.

“Wait, did Chris make you cry?”

“Wait you are coming from the park right? He must be there let me just have a sweet talk with him.”

He starts to move to the park but this time I grab his hand from behind. I hug him from behind and say –

“I am n-not worthy e-enough, he s-should have t-told me if h-he didn’t like m-me. He d-dint have t-to kiss a g-girl in front of m-me....”

I say and continue crying. Noah turns around and holds me.

“Lettie please calm down, I can’t see you cry.”

He was really serious. I could sense it in his voice. I sit down and he sits next to me.

“He was doing this all so secretly. He-!”

I stop as I couldn’t find the best word to explain him. Anger was building inside me. Tears fall down again. Noah looks at me puts his hands on my cheeks and wipes the tears form my eyes.

“This is an order from the Potato King Lettie, don’t you dare cry!”

He looks in my eyes and my stomach does a flip. He says it as it was the most serious and important thing of this world. I laugh.

“I will talk to him for you?”

He says. I nod even though I was scared that he would beat the shit out of him when he does.


I stop.


He looks at me. I shake my head smiling and thinking that this is not the right time. I am myself not sure. I change the question anyway.

“Are you gay? No offence.”

I ask.

“WHAT?!!! NO.....”

he says.

“Tell me you are not pairing me up with Josh....”

he says with a disgusted look. I smile.

“I am not gay in fact I like someone. She is the most beautiful person in this world, I wish I could have her.”

He stops and starts daydreaming.

“Oh! You ever told me, who is she?”

I ask. How dare he not tell me?

“Well, I will tell you all when the time comes, not now.”


I pout.

“Well forever is a long time.”

I say.

“She deserves it.”

Noah replies. Noah drops me at home.

I drop on my bed crying. I made the wrong decision. I want to slap myself for this. I want to scream. How can I even think that Chris was the ‘one’? I never had a feeling for him, liking someone for their looks is the worst thing to do. I was just too desperate to have a boyfriend. Oh god, what do I do now? I never felt anything for Chris. I lost. Everything. It is all ruined. No one will accept if I tell who I actually like. I am not sure about that person but I am sure I don’t like them for their looks and I am sure I never liked Chris. What if you could forget every bad memory, and retake a decision?

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