We stood there in the warm sunny day, in front of her gravestone. I felt as everything was a dream. I never wanted it to be real. I wish that I wake up. But I didn’t. It was the reality. No one knew this was coming. I never wanted it to come. I didn’t even tell her everything about my feelings. I didn’t get a chance to. No one knew a sunny and warm day like this can be this painful and heart breaking. The realization hit me that I didn’t get the chance to be with her. I feel tears roll down my cheeks. I don’t stop them. I don’t wipe them. I just stand there. Crying. I looked over to them. They were all crying. We all lost something. We stand there until it is night. My legs were aching, my eyes burning and my throat dry.
“I loved you Sarah...”
I say as we all turn around and walk away. I didn’t hear what everyone else said to her. I didn’t want to. All I wanted was to disappear. Officer Jesse told us that he caught the whole Mafia and they were given death sentence. The least I wanted, I would have loved to torture them first. I wanted them to die a painful death. I wanted them to pay for the pain they gave us.
I walk into my house, open the door and break down at the front steps. I sit there and cry. Someone offers me a tissue. I don’t take it. Then she sits down in front of me. I realize it is Rebecca. She holds my face in her hands and wipes the tears.
“Shh...It is fine...I am here...Everything will be okay...”
she says as I stare in her eyes. I feel a rush of an unknown emotion as I hugged her.
I say crying. She didn’t judge me. She just sat there with me in her arms as I cried. After I pulled away. I felt a lot better.
“I loved her...”
I say sitting on the couch.
She says and sits beside me and hands me a cookie. I eat it. I didn’t know what I was going to die in my life anymore. I wanted to go back to the time when I was with Sarah and stop there. It didn’t.