-i know about love and Desire, but you know nothing-
It's Like these wounds have become scars And the pains never go away. I used to say you were the one for me And that’s the subconscious trap that I've got me in, Now I know I’ve to set me free.. -| EvaAlordia |-
It was clear in the laughed limpid pools of her eyes, She’d done it on purpose. The surprise he felt was immediately replaced with anger Of course she lied, He was the stupid one, he should have seen it coming. She wanted the plan to fail. Anger emerged as Janis’s nonchalant abuse of her sister’s efforts become clear. He circled Janis’s waist with one hand and drew her around to his side. “It’s all right, darling. We had to tell them. I’m just happy not to pretend anymore.”
His eyes grazed Mrs. McCarthy’s white face and came to rest on Mimi’s. Her hands covered her mouth, just as Janis’s had but in her eyes was genuine fear. Janis played a game but Mimi’s intentions were serious. She looked ill. In his mind, he saw himself going to her, holding her against him as he now held Janis and making a plea to her father for their future but that was impossible. On so many levels, impossible. He met Mr. McCarthy’s hard eyes. “Sir, let me apologize for the-a-haste of our decision and his precipitous announcement.” He nearly tripped over the word but his pride would not allow it.
He concentrated on Mimi, on the devastation he could see in her eyes. “But we agreed, didn’t we Janis,” he squeezed her waist hard and heard a small Surprised intake of breath, that our wishes would come second to your family’s.
Janis started to speak but Angell shot her a quelling glance and tightened his grip on her waist again forgetting that she is pregnant. He looked at Mimi who lowered her hands and watched him with miserable eyes. He let out a slow breath and looked down. "You see, Mr. McCarthy, I love your daughter,′ he looked back up with the words, But deep inside Angell, he’s in love with Mimi, not this so-called Janis," I knew it the first moment I saw her with a part of me I never knew I had. I only want the best for her and I’ll work hard, harder than anyone else to keep her happy. So I ask, humbly for your daughter's hand in marriage. I know you don’t know me from anywhere, but I’m a good man. And if you’d like to take some time before answering, I’d be more than Happy to wait for your answers.
Janis cowered against his side, seemingly abashed by her gaffe, but Angell didn’t doubt that her trembling had more to do with suppressed glee than fear of repercussion.
Mr. McCarthy studied him a long, uncomfortable moment while the clock ticked loudly and the other occupants of the room waited, barely breathing.
“I do not approve of this,” Mr. Eros McCarthy said finally, his voice deep and decisive. Angell could imagine him addressing Congress in such a voice. “However, because I dislike acting precipitously. . . .” he fixed Angell with a condemning eye, “I shall wait before making a final decision.”
“Talk to Matthew,” Mimi burst out. Mr. McCarthy’s gaze snapped to her.
“Yes, by all means, talk to Matthew ” Janis seconded. Angell had half a mind to move his hand from her waist to her mouth.
“Matthew knows about this mess?” Mr. McCarthy demanded. The ice in his tone was enough to make Angell pity Matthew, which might have been refreshing in other circumstances.
“He knows Mr. Summer. He met him first.,” Mimi persevered.
“He approves of him.” She was grasping and it was as obvious to Mr. McCarthy as it was to Angell.
“I cannot believe Matthew allowed this,” Mr. McCarthy said with disgust. “And you, my dear I would have expected more of you,” he continued to Mimi. “I assumed Janis will go off half-cocked at any given moment but you’ve got a head on your shoulders, Mimi. I’m disappointed in you.” Angell bit back a curse but could not stop the words that followed it. “Begging your pardon Sir, but Miss Miracle couldn’t be her sister’s keeper. She tried to make us see reason but we’re of a similar stubborn mind, I guess, Janis and me, so Miss Mimi was left with nothing to do but help us because she loves her sister, Sir Eros. She’d do anything for her family, you know.”
Mr. McCarthy turned back to him, an inscrutable expression in his eyes and even Janis looked up at him with something other than duplicity in hers.
“You say you want the best for my daughter, Mr. Summer. Do you consider yourself to be the best?” Mr. McCarthy asked.
The cynical laugh that rose to his lips was probably the wrong answered but he let it go anyways. “I’m not anywhere near the best, Sir and that’s why I can’t do the noble thing and leave her. But for some reasons, she’s got regard for me and being the selfish man I am, I can’t turn away but I’ll try Sir, maybe harder than the fancy men you can find around here to make sure she’s happy.”
Mr. McCarthy’s eyes narrowed thoughtfully. “Hmm, we’ll see, Mr. Summer. We’ll see. Have a financial statement to me within the week. He turned away. Katelyn? Come with me.” Mrs. McCarthy hurried over and the two disappeared through the door. The second they were out of sight, Angell dropped his hand from Janis’s waist and abruptly stalked to the window. 'Damn it,' he exclaimed, stuffing his fists into his pocket.
“What on earth were you thinking?” Mimi pounced. "Of all the stupid-"
Janis drew herself up. “Well, Mimi I’m sorry but it just slipped out. I was getting so involved in my role that I just kept on talking, and before I knew it. . . .”
“Before you knew it, you’d ruined months of work and planning and worry for your future.” Mimi’s voice broke on the last word and Angell turned to look at her. Mimi sank onto the sofa. Angell rested His weight on the windowsill.
“He’ll never approve of it now,′ Mimi said, her face tired, her tone blank. Never. God help you, Janis, you’re going to have to give that baby up.” Mimi turned on her with fatigue and despair. “You won’t have any choice but to give her up, do you have any idea what will happen if father finds out about this? He’ll have that baby shipped out the moment it's born and you may never see the light of a New York day again.
Fear flitted across Janis’s face, followed quickly by bravado." it's my baby. He can’t do anything to me. I’ll run away. He won’t find me-”
“Don’t fool yourself,” Mimi scoffed, her hopelessness as obvious as Janis’s fear. “Don’t underestimate what you’re up against. You’ll lose everything, Janis believe me. If you leave, you’ll have no place to come back to and where would you go? What would you do for money? Do you know what is like to bear a child? You can’t simply pop in when the time is right and do it, you know. You’ll be incapacitated for weeks, possibly months. How will you live?”
“Don’t treat me like a child, Mimi,” Janis threatened, her voice quivering. “I know what it's like being pregnant, better than you do, I know what is like to be sick every morning better than you do, to feel my baby change in strange scary ways. Yes, I know quite a bit more than you do about a lot of things.” Tears streamed down her face.
“You know what it’s like to be spoiled rotten,” Mimi spat, rising.
“I know what it’s like to love. You have no idea. You’re a cold, heartless fish, who’s never felt passionate about anything, much less a man. For you to presume to tell me what to do-its-its preposterous. You-why you’re going to grow so old and shriveled, you’ll have no choice but to marry that old prude Lucas Archerson who knows less about love than even you do. You’ll lay in bed like death while he puts his clammy hands on you and you’ll never learn anything of what I know about love-about desire.” Janis’s eyes streamed, but she looked at her sister with pity.
“And you’ll lose, Mimi because love is the only thing worthwhile. I don’t care if they send me to Janeiro. If I never see any ice angel or champagne fountain chocolate truffle again in my life, it’ll be Worth it because I have known love and this baby is the proof of it. Yes. Proof. And I’m proud of it.”
Mimi trembled where she stood as they glared at one and other. To Angell, Mimi looked as if one touch would cause her to shatter into a thousand pieces while Janis looked hard like an unrepentant murderer on the way to the gallow.
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