I wake to a pale blue wall that is unfamiliar and certainly not mine. I stirred slightly and felt his warm arms surrounding me.
Oh. My. God.
I'm in Cal's bed. With CAL.
I turn to face him to see him fast asleep, his lips are parted slightly, his long lashes resting on his cheeks. I gaze at him, my heart bursting with adoration. I lean forward and kiss his lips, really softly, as he groans, his hands pulling me closer as he returns the kiss.
It was insane.
"Is this what lust feels like?" I wonder aloud, as he wrinkles his nose up at me.
"Do you really think that's all this is? You are the first girl I've ever slept next to and actually slept."
He laughs as I hit him with a pillow.
"Are you ok?"
He looked at me then, biting his lip as he did. I curl up next to him, my hands entwined with his.
"This isn't me. I don't feel good at all about lying here with you whilst I'm officially in a relationship. With your cousin of all people," I admit with a sigh.
Cal runs his fingers down my back lightly, before fixing me with his emerald gaze.
"I know, I do. But what if you are meant to be with me? Then being with him is the wrong thing, isn't it? That makes this right?"
I smile at his inane logic. He leans on his elbow so he is looking at me fully.
"No one has to know yet."
"So what about Krystal?" I pout.
He leans down and kisses me, making me almost forget my own name.
My heart hammered in my chest at his response, when he speaks again, his voice low and quiet.
"I don't think I've ever wanted anyone so much in my life."
I pull him down to me then, kissing him until he pulls away, telling me he can't keep kissing me in his bed and leaving it there. I reach down and turn my phone on, greeted by about a million beeps.
"I'll get us some juice. Lucky there's no school today, now that would be awkward."
He strides to his door, closing it softly behind him. I peer at my phone to inspect the damage of leaving the dance so abruptly.
So, lots of messages from a very drunken Luke. He loves me, he hates me, he is worried about me...I gulp, feeling absolutely evil. I call Sienna straight away, reassuring her I was fine; that I would be going home soon and all was going to be OK. I didn't know what else to say, but she begs me to call Luke.
Cal walks back in and hands me a tall glass of chilled orange juice. I fill him in on the night time events and he kisses me softly.
"Baby, I know this is difficult for you... "
Did he just call me baby? Oh Lord...
"But you've got to go with what you want. Do you want me to talk to him for you?"
His voice was colder now. I shook my head, horrified.
"Shall I take you home?" he asks quietly.
I nod, groaning as I realise the decisions I have to make. It wasn't going to be easy.
"Is anyone in?" I ask Cal.
"No, you are my dirty little secret," he grins, biting his lip as he did.
I can't help but drag him towards me, kissing him again. This time he pushes me against the wall, lifting my legs around his waist.
"God I need you, do you understand? You're driving me crazy," he murmurs, burying his face in my neck.
"Cal," I moan into his neck, "I have to go and sort my life out..."
He steps away from me as he drops me to my feet, yet I find myself pulling him back in to me again.
"Tell me Gretchen," he groans as he speaks, "How bad do you want this?"
I drank him in and kissed his chest, then his neck, before our mouths found each other again.
"So much," I gasp as his eyes search mine.
"You are fucking mine," he mutters suddenly, as my heart rate sped up. His hand ran through my hair, tugging it slightly as he nibbled on my lip softly. I arch myself into him, feeling his hardness against my body. My hand trailed down and before I could reach for it, his hand clamped on mine, forcing it against the door.
"You're stopping me?" I demanded as he breathed heavily. He stares at me, as though he was battling internally with his emotions. I swear if we were being watched by anyone they would be able to see the sparks flying.
"Not like this," he whispered.
I didn't get it. Not like what? I wanted him so much, and he was saying no? What was his deal? I stood, smoothing my clothes down.
"Shall we go then?" I say coolly and he raised his eyebrows in confusion. I went to open the door when he pushed his hand on it, stopping me from leaving. My heart pounds in my chest as he brings his face close to mine.
He searched my eyes with his own green wonders.
"Are you angry that I won't fuck you now, up against this door?" he smiled softly, trailing his fingers down my arm. "I think you have enough to think about without me adding even more."
Wow. He was doing this for me? He was right, I did have enough to think about, but now all I can imagine is him fucking me against the door. My insides are like jelly as he reaches behind me and pulls the door open. We make our way downstairs, my legs still shaking from our doorway encounter.
I stood by the kitchen door in the clothes I had slept in when there was a sharp knock, which made me jump, my eyes widening in fear. Cal frowned and looked at me.
"Who the fuck..."
He opens the door and in walks Drake, his brother.
"Dude I forgot my keys. Been a heavy night," he looks at me in surprise. "Hey, aren't you Luke's girlfriend?"
He sits on the kitchen worktop, drinking orange juice from the bottle. What was it with the men in this family? Drake's tight t-shirt clung to every contour in his arms and his torso, and I tried not to stare.
"No man, she's not." Cal growled, arms folded as he stood in front of me.
Drake raised his eyebrows at us and shrugged.
"Whatever. I need to hit the hay. Have fun kids."
He jumped down from the counter, making his way upstairs as he smirked at me. I felt my cheeks burn, as Cal turned me towards him and watched me carefully.
"If we are going to do this Raven, you're gonna have to get used to people having a problem with it."
He brushes his finger over my cheek as he stares into my eyes. I wanted him so much it hurt. I lean up, gathering his hair in my hand as I press his head towards me, meeting his mouth with mine. I still can't believe I have the right to do that- kiss Cal Fallon! I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. Except now I had to go and face reality.
Cal handed me his duffle coat which I quickly zip up.
"I'll get the car keys."
He makes his way past me into the hall as I point out I live a mere block away. He laughs, looking pointedly at the heels I had worn last night in my hand.
"It's your call babe, if you really wanna walk. I just didn't think they matched your outfit."
He smirks at me as I roll my eyes. We made our way to the car, as I glanced around terrified, in case we saw anyone we knew. Cal leans over to me, his eyes burning into mine as he strokes my face softly.
"Relax, it's early. Drake was just getting in from his night out; everyone will be asleep."
He pulled up a little past my house and turned off the engine. He leans back and watches me as I gather my dress in one hand and my heels in the other. I look at him longingly as I go to open the car door.
"How can I miss you when you are right in front of me?" I ask, my voice heavy with desire.
He smiles then, before chuckling.
"Is that your next question?"
I laugh as I go to open the door.
"Text me," he orders, his eyes locked on mine as I nod.
As if I wouldn't.
I climbed out of the car and made my way into the house, praying no one was up. The house was silent and all I could hear was Cal's car driving away. I crept up the stairs and into my room, catching sight of myself in Cals clothes. I quickly stripped them off before I pulled on my pjs, using a makeup wipe to remove what was left of my dance face. I climb into bed as my phone pings.
Bed is cold without you.
I feel a rush of excitement as I imagine him lying in bed thinking of me. I'm about to respond when my phone pings again and this time it was Luke.
Ring me. Please. We need to talk.
My heart sank. How can I be so happy yet so sad at the same time? I text Cal first, without even thinking.
Luke wants to talk. Don't know what to say.
He replied instantly.
That you're mine? Or let me do the honours.
My heart began to beat rapidly. How had this happened? How am I supposed to explain this? I dial Rosies number- I didn't care how early it was. She eventually answered, whispering into the phone.
"Babes, I'm asleep. Ill ring you later!"
Then she hung up.
I stare at my phone in disbelief. How rude! I called Sienna, who answered immediately.
"Gretchen what the actual fuck. Where are you?"
I quickly explained that I was at home.
"It's really complicated Si, and I don't know how to explain..."
She abruptly cut me off.
"The thing is Gretchen, we were out at the dance, having a great time. Then you disappeared, no one knew where you were. We all sobered up pretty quickly, looking for you. We were really worried. Then Luke went looking for you, and he didn't come back!"
I wince at the mention of Luke, as Sienna exhales down the phone.
"So, what happened?"
I sigh and feel tears stinging my eyes. This was going to be difficult.
"I was with Cal," I say it as though it was a matter of fact, like I always had been with him.
I heard Sienna inhale sharply.
"Cal Fallon? Are you shitting me Gretchen? With him how?!"
I decide not to give her an answer, instead focusing on the consequences of my actions.
"I need to call Luke, Si."
I hung up and stared at my phone. How the fuck was I going to explain this?
Luke answered on the first ring, his voice gruff.
Hearing his familiar voice made me want to cry.
"I'm so sorry Luke."
He was silent at the other end.
"Are you at home?" he eventually asked.
I sniffle. "Yes, why?"
"I'm coming over."