Luke didn't wait for an answer and hung up.
I sat up in bed, wondering what I was going to say. The doorbell went fifteen minutes later and I slowly walked down to answer it, my heart sinking when I opened the door and I saw Luke standing in the doorway. His hair was tousled and he looked tired and annoyed. He sighed and I moved so he could come in.
I stare at the floor, unable to meet his gaze. We walked silently to my room and I sat on my bed, my head in my hands, wishing I was anywhere but here. Luke sat in front of me on the chair by my desk. He was so handsome, yet I felt nothing for him like I felt for Cal. I tried to draw strength from this, remembering how happy I had felt earlier that morning. He glanced at the photos above my desk of us with our friends.
"Are you going to tell me what happened, Gretch?"
His voice broke slightly and I took a deep breath.
"Last night...I'm sorry I left like I did."
He stared at me, his eyes narrowing.
"Where did you go? I came looking for you."
I bit my lip and I finally met his gaze.
"I was with Cal," I whispered softly. His eyes widened and his mouth opened then closed before he finally spoke.
His voice was quiet and deadly. I closed my eyes as I repeated myself.
"I went home with Cal."
His fist clenched so tightly I could see the white of his knuckles.
"Why?" he spat.
He was standing now, and for the first time ever I felt afraid of him.
"Luke, I'm sorry..."
He paced my bedroom, running his hands through his hair.
"So you spent last night with my cousin. Are you telling me it was a stupid mistake Gretchen?"
My heart hurt so much looking at his face, the face I had kissed so much over the past year. The face I had fell in love with.
"I'm sorry..." I repeatedly helplessly.
He glared at me.
"Yeah you said that. What exactly are you sorry for?" He snapped, his voice dripping in sarcasm.
"For hurting you. I swear I had no idea, this happened so quickly..."
I knew I sounded like I was trying to make excuses for something you couldn't excuse. My mouth was dry.
He sat back in the chair, stunned.
"I need to ask you something and I want the truth."
His eyes were full of hurt, and I knew exactly what he was going to ask me.
"Did you sleep with him?"
I met his eyes then, shaking my head.
"No, I didn't."
I didn't add that I didn't purely because Cal has amazing self-control and I had none...
A look of relief passes over his face as he exhales.
"Luke-" I begin as he raises his eyes to meet mine.
"I don't want to speak to you right now. I don't even know what to say. I'm fucking gutted. I don't need to ask if you kissed him. I can see it all over your face," he snaps in disgust.
He turns, heading out of my room, the door slamming shut behind him as he does. The tears come then and I don't know if they are ever going to stop. I hear a soft knock at my door as my Mom walks in, her silk robe trailing behind her.
"Baby? Was that Luke? It's really early...is everything ok? What's happened?"
She sits beside me, wrapping her arms around me comfortingly.
"Oh Mom I don't even know where to start," I sob, finally letting out the emotion I had been holding in. She soothes me, stroking my hair as we sit in silence. I pull away, looking into her lovely face, so full of concern.
"I don't think I love Luke anymore."
She blinks a few times before speaking.
"It's completely normal to fall out of love, baby. You are seventeen, after all. Did he hurt you?"
Her eyes meet mine, and I shake my head.
"No, no he didn't. It's not him...It's me." I cried.
She kissed the top of my head,
"Look. Get yourself a shower and put your make up on. Everything seems better when you look the part, even if inside you are crumbling. Then why don't you call Rosie or Sienna? Surround yourself with your friend's baby."
She smiles as she stands up. She was right; I needed to take charge of the situation I had created.
I take a shower,before putting my makeup on- my war paint as I remember my Mom once telling me. My phone rings, and I'm elated to see it was Rosie.
"Hey lady. Are you ok? Bit of an early call from you this morning..."
She yawns down the phone as I apologise, arranging to meet her at The Lounge. I dress quickly, checking my reflection in the mirror. I'd gone for an aqua green jumper over my ripped jeans; considering the weather it should suffice. I took a deep breath and made my way out of the house, heading for the bus stop at the end of my street that would take me into town.