Troubled Sincerity

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Bonus - 2

| 1 week after the Epilogue |

| Riley’s POV |

She hasn’t returned any of my phone calls or texts.

I mean I probably shouldn’t have kissed her like that in front of everyone, but I wanted to wipe that grin off Connors smug face.

He never mentioned it to anyone that he got married, I don’t even think Mark knew, which is strange being that they’re considered best friends.

I’m sure it was a sham wedding. He probably married her in Vegas or something. I wouldn’t put it past him.

I used to be fond of Connor, but watching him break Marissa’s heart kind of killed that.


I have absolutely no idea what came over me but I knew that I needed to talk to her, or at the very least, see her again. Naveah tried to talk to me the following day after the reunion, but I convinced her that the kiss meant nothing.

Of course that was a complete lie, because what I felt couldn’t have possibly been fake. Though I can’t just say, “hey guys, I just realized that I might be gay, and I have a thing for Satan’s child”.

It’s true, Marissa and I haven’t always gotten along, but when I moved to L.A shortly after Marissa and Naveah did, we started hanging out more than usual.

Naveah calls them “secret lunch dates”, but we only ever eat and talk. That’s it. There’s no funny business, there’s no romance, it’s just two girls having lunch because the third girl couldn’t join.

I never in a million years thought that I would develop feelings for the girl. She’s always been Marissa. Satan’s child. Vile Vagina. The evil Queen of California.

But now? Now I have no idea what to call her.

Speaking of calling, I grab my phone from my pocket and try calling her again.

No answer.

I sigh in defeat and set my phone onto the counter. My apartment is small, just one bedroom, but it’s perfect for me while I work. I travel a lot due to my acting career, but for now I’m stationed right here in L.A. I’m supposed to be a guest star on a new sitcom, so I’m actually really excited about that. My manager says I’ll be making a lot of money from doing this project, so that also has me in a relatively good mood, despite my lack of communication with Marissa.

I’ve been trying not to think about her, or the kiss, for the last week. Of course, somehow, it manages to keep popping up. Rolling my eyes at how pathetic I am, I pick up my phone and try calling her one more time. The only sound I hear is the ringing, my erratic breathing, and the rain that’s currently pouring outside.

As usual, it goes to voicemail, so I decide to actually leave her a message this time.

“Hey, Marissa. I’d really appreciate it, if you could stop giving me the cold shoulder. I know what happened was weird and all, but it’s really rude to ignore someone. Anyway, please-“, but my voice is cut short when I hear a loud knock at my front door. “Sorry, there’s uh, someone here, one second…” I trail off as I walk over to the door to yank it open.

My eyes widen in shock as I slowly lower my hand from my ear and end the call.

“What are you-“, but I’m cut off as Marissa storms inside and rushes behind me, stomping into the living room while dripping water everywhere.

“Oh, sure, come on in.” I roll my eyes as I shut my front door, and hurriedly follow Marissa into the living room.

“So, get this, I’m inside of my house all this week, missing work and trying to rack my brain around the thought of you kissing me and why.” Marissa begins spewing her thoughts to me. She’s pacing the living room, her clothes and body dripping wet from the rain.

She looks sexy as hell, but of course, I can’t say that right now.

Wait, did I just think that? Jesus, Riley.

“I can’t wait to hear this.” I mumble.

“And then it hits me! You’re an actress! Of course, it was all an act! I mean I thought to myself, why the hell would she kiss me? Surely she doesn’t have feelings for me, because that would be weird, right?”

“I mean, it sure as shit shocked me…” I trial off.

“I mean we’ve been rivals all through high school, not to mention you haven’t exactly liked me since then. I mean you tolerate me, sure, but I never would’ve described your feelings toward me as sincere. So why? Why did I feel weird after you kissed me? Why did I want to kiss you again? I can’t even believe that I’m here right now!”

“Wait, you want to-“, but she doesn’t let me finish.

“I mean I’ve liked males my entire life, never have I ever thought about being with a female. I mean it’s just never really been anything that I’ve been interested in. Should I have been? Is that the reason that none of my relationships have worked out?”

“Marissa…” I sigh deeply, but it’s as if she can only hear herself.

“Is that why Connor broke up with me all those years ago? Because he knew that I wasn’t really interested in men? Did he know what my sexuality was before I did? That’s just insane, right?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty crazy.” I deadpan, glancing down at my feet.

“Please tell me that you’re going crazy too?” Marissa finally glances at me for the first time since her rant began.

“Well, I-“, She doesn’t let me finish.

“Of course you’re not going crazy, why would you? You’re an actress, this is all normal for you. You probably did it just so I wouldn’t feel crappy about Connors new marriage that he apparently never told anyone about.” Marissa sighs dramatically, finally stopping in her tracks to look at me.

“Are you done yet?” I raise an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I guess.”


Without another word, I walk up to Marissa and yank her face down to meet my own. She hesitates at first, but a few moments later I feel her arms snake their way around my waist, pulling me closer. It’s an odd sensation at first, kissing Marissa, but the second I realize, the feeling is replaced with a feeling of need.

How long have I been gay, and not known it? I think back to my relationship with Tommy. I was in love with him, a male. I mean just because he broke my heart, doesn’t mean that I could never love another male again, right? I did have feelings for Dylan for a hot minute, but he proved to me he wasn’t worthy of my time or affection. Maybe all of my past relationships didn’t work out for a reason? Maybe everything was just leading me up to this, right here. Kissing Marissa Bradley, and liking it.

| Marissa’s POV |

Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap!

My mind is in a haze. A foggy, beautiful, completely surprised haze.

She’s kissing me, right here, right now. What do I feel? I feel everything.

I don’t think I even felt this feeling once the entire time I was with Connor. How is that possible? How can any of this be possible?

Riley has always been Riley. Annoying, yet funny. Smart, yet a total smart-ass. Witty, yet nauseating. I didn’t like her when I first met her, for the simple fact that she didn’t like me. Even before she started hanging out with Naveah and her group of friends back in high school, I would casually see her walking the halls of Jefferson high, and she always looked the same. Black hair, black eyeliner, and an even more black soul.

She hardly ever cracked a smile, so I just assumed she was mad at the world over something personal.

I learned later that it was because of a tough breakup she had with an old boyfriend. Was he the reason that she decided to become interested in girls? Or was she always interested in girls? I never really asked her, although up until now, I never really cared all that much.

But now, as I stand here and allow her to kiss me, it is the only thing I care about.

I pull her closer, if that were even humanly possible, as I deepen the kiss.

I have never in my entire life, kissed a girl before, but now I can guarantee that I don’t ever want to kiss anyone that's not Riley.

Our relationship hasn’t always been the greatest, but recently we’ve been hanging out a lot more. I always just thought we were friends, nothing more. I never could’ve predicted this.

Riley begins pulling my wet T-shirt up over my head, causing more emotions to come flooding into my body. Every inch of my skin is on fire, despite the goosebumps littered over my entire body due to my cold, wet clothes.

“Take these off, before you freeze to death.” Riley mumbles against my lips, tugging at my sweatpants. I’m hesitant, which causes her to laugh. “I’m not going to do anything like that, I just don’t want you to get sick. You’ll still have your underwear on.”

I smile and push my sweatpants down, kicking them to the side. Riley leans in to kiss me again, her hands reaching up to grip my wet hair, pulling me just a little closer.

After a while, I find it hard to breathe.

Riley slowly begins to pull away, and as soon as the air touches my lips, I frown.

I frown.

“Shit.” Riley says just under her breath.

“Good shit, or bad shit?” I ask quietly, afraid to even move, let alone smile.

“Does the fact that I want to do that again, give you your answer?” She smirks, leading me over to her couch so we can sit down.

I find myself smiling back at her, taking a seat right beside her, our fingers still interlocked.

“I’ve got to know Riley, what is this?” I suddenly ask, letting my more bold and defensive side come out.

“I wish I knew. This has never happened to me before.” She admits, a confused expression on her face.

“I’m sorry if I sound off, this is just so incredibly random. I think I’m still in shock from it all.” I laugh uneasily, my breaths erratic.

“Well, at least we agree on something.” Riley says, turning to face me. She rests one leg up on the couch in front of her, so I rest my hand on her thigh daringly.

Her eyes find my hand, and soon I feel her hand rest on top of my own, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“What are we going to do about this?” I ask, my pale green eyes boring into her light blue ones.

Riley purses her lips, clearly thinking of an answer, before she picks up her phone and calls someone.

After a few moments, someone picks up.

“Hey Luc.” Riley says, causing my eyes to widen.

“No, everything’s fine, well sort of.” Riley begins, “I need to ask you something.”

I furrow my brows at Riley, trying to silently ask her what she’s doing and why she needs to talk to Lucy who’s back in Oregon with her husband. If anything, it would’ve made more sense for her to call Naveah.

“Well, I just kissed Marissa again, and I really want to do it again. What’s your take on that?”

My eyes bulge from my head as I gape at Riley’s forwardness. What the heck does anyone say to that?

“Mhm. Mhm. Yep, I know. Shut the fuck up. Mhm. Okay. Right. Jesus, alright. No we haven’t done that. No I’m not giving you more details if we ever do. Mhm. Okay, bye!”

My mind is a complete cluster fuck right now.

“Do I even want to know what all she said?” I ask sheepishly.

“Well, first she screeched. Then, she told me to be sure that my feelings are genuine and that I really want to take another step in this direction. Then she told me to be real and honest with you. Actually, she cursed at me a little bit to let me know how serious she was. Then she asked if we had sex yet. Then she said that she thinks we’re adorable, and she hopes it works out!” Riley smiles, laughing at the part about the sex.

I smirked at that myself.

“So, because she approves, you approve?” I suddenly ask, giving her a challenging look.

“Not exactly.” Riley shakes her head. I couldn’t help the frown that appeared on my face.

“I wouldn’t care if she approved or not. I want this.”

My eyes snap up to meet hers once she says that. “Really?”

“Dude, of course we’re both a little freaked out by this, who wouldn’t be? It’s a strange situation, but I can’t deny that kissing you gave me butterflies. I can’t deny that kissing you felt better than any other person I’ve ever kissed in my entire life. I can’t deny that when I look at you, I’m at a loss for words. I can’t deny that you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid my eyes on.”

My heart swells at her lengthy confession. How long has she been feeling this? How long has she been feeling, what I’ve been feeling?

“Are we really going to do this?” I smile, inching closer to her, our legs touching against the leather couch beneath us.

“I don’t see any reason why we shouldn’t, unless you do?”

Riley gives me a serious look, her one eyebrow perfectly arched in anticipation.

I immediately shake my head, “No, not one reason.”


“Good.” I nod.

“So, uh, do you want to order some dinner? I haven’t eaten anything yet, and I’m starving.” Riley smiles as she picks up her phone to browse the different restaurants in the area that deliver.

“Sure, but maybe you should give me some clothes first.” I smirk, my cheeks just barely turning pink as I glance down at my half naked body.

“Now why on earth would I do that when I love the view?” She winks at me, causing me to laugh as I playfully smack her arm.

I stand up, but lean down to kiss her cheek softly. “We’re doing this?”

“We’re doing this.”

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