Chapter 23: Horrible
Unravel Him Playlist on Spotify.
Song; (Zack Hemsy- Vengence)
The air is cold.
Thunder and lightning echoed outside.
My body is getting increasingly weaker, my eyes droopy.
“Stop. Stop. Don’t.”
His brown eyes are glowing.
His scar is in full view.
His grip is bruising.
His actions are terrifying.
I try to kick. I try to move.
But I’m powerless.
I can’t move.
I can’t. Move.
Why can’t I move?
Then the pain starts.
Something woke me up.
I wasn’t sure what it was but it had me bolt upright, head in my hands, legs crossed onto themselves.
The center of my forehead began to throb, a raging headache with no means of stopping.
My vision is streaking with colors.
The darkening night. The white lightning. The overwhelming sense of dread.
Muffling a groan, I reach for my nightstand and scooted over the edge so my feet touch the floor.
The covers fell off me in waves and I shivered despite the sweater I wore.
What the hell was that?
I could feel it.
Hell, taste it even.
The few scattered images that my mind has yet to make sense off.
Squinting, I try to make out Thomas’s form beside me. He’s propped on one arm, a serene look on his face as he slept.
For a moment, I debated waking him up but decided against it.
He needed the sleep more then me.
Painfully, I force myself to a stand before stumbling out my bedroom.
I needed some air.
As I made my way downstairs, I rubbed my arms and viewed the ticking clock that read 5 am.
The boys are all sound asleep across my living room, snoring lightly.
A hazy figure just beyond the balcony doors made me squint to make out as to who was there.
It was Mason.
His back was to me and while the doors are close I could see snow falling gently across the sky.
He must be cold.
Taking our coats off the racks, I slid the doors open and quickly shut it, not wanting the others to get hypothermia if I wasn’t careful.
“Mase?” Handing him his coat, he takes it after realizing I was right behind him.
“What are you doing out here?” Folding my arms, I shivered, watching the heir of BourneFell swirl a clear glass of liquid with his thumb.
“Couldn’t sleep,” He smiles at me, keeping his gaze to the horizon where twinkling lights of New York City lets me know most of the population was sound asleep.
“Here,” He gives me the glass and I stared at it, wary.
“It’s water,” Mason tells me once he sees the expression on my face.
Nodding, I gratefully took the glass and drank it down, feeling it replenish my dehydrated body.
“Thank you,” I sighed, clutching the glass to my chest.
The discomfort I felt when waking up earlier on was almost gone at this point.
“You should be resting.” He says out loud once there was a minute of silence between us.
I rolled my eyes. “It’s my birthday I can do whatever I want.”
“18,” Mason chuckles shaking his head in amusement. “Still as stubborn as ever.”
“Maybe my New Years resolution is not to be too harsh this year.” Resting my elbows on the railing, I took a deep breath and inhaled.
He laughs in response. “You? Not being harsh? That’s you’re entire personality Nessa.”
What can I say? Sometimes my mouth runs without listening to my brain.
Snuggling into my coat, cold wind billow through my red hair, making it dance.
It was peaceful.
Being in this moment.
Where no one else was awake but us.
Peaceful and rare.
Moments like this, I live for because you never know when it might be over.
Reality is cruel.
“Did Thomas tire you out?”
Mason sneaks a peek over at me, lips curving into a sad smile. “Thomas,”
For a second I’m dumbstruck until I remembered what I so carelessly ignored.
“Oh god, Mason, I didn’t mean-”
“No, no it’s fine. You told me how you felt. I shouldn’t let this bother me.”
“But it does.” Rubbing my face, I shoot him an apologetic look. “We made out that’s it. I think he knew I was too drunk.”
I can’t imagine being in the same position he was.
He told me he liked me but I had told him I didn’t.
At least, not in that way.
Still, it didn’t make this any easier that he had to watch the person he liked being flaunt and cared for by someone else other then him.
Mason happens to be big part of my life today, it makes sense that I wouldn’t want him to be hurt.
Not when it was partially my fault.
Having sex with Thomas, in the same building would be a pretty rough burn to Mason’s ego, let alone anyone’s, if the situation applies it to be.
It’s not excuses. Just facts.
Sometimes it’s easier to just face that everyone is human.
“I haven’t had a moment to breathe since that day.” Mason speaks softly, his voice a gentle breeze.
It broke me away from my worrying thoughts.
“Sometimes I think... if I hadn’t pulled that prank or if I hadn’t been such a jerk she would still be alive.”
Then I knew, what day he was talking about.
Maybe this was Mason’s way of asking for forgiveness or maybe it was just his way of asking someone to comfort him.
Unfortunately I could give neither of that.
“I know you blame yourself,” Gazing at him, I gauged his reaction. “Because I do, too.”
“Malorie jumped off a building because of me, Vanessa.” He snaps. “If I hadn’t pulled that trick back in the tour, none of the students would’ve continued doing it.”
“I know,” Sighing, I reach for my hair and parted it up my head. “You can say whatever you want Mase, but nothing is going to change that she’s gone now.”
And there was nothing we could do but think about our past mistakes.
“The worst part is, we had to cover it up. Had to sweep all of it under the rug because it was not good press.” He snarls, fists clenched hard in between the railings.
Shutting my eyes, I couldn’t help but understand what he meant.
Mason left with Thomas to fix the damage control.
The damage control had been Malorie’s suicide jump.
Over the next few days of watching the news, Malorie’s stunt was dubbed a; cry for attention.
It hurt the first time I saw it.
It hurt, but there was nothing I could do.
Nothing Thomas and Mason could do.
Sometimes the world works ugly in order to achieve greatness.
I call it bullshit.
“You know, I keep thinking about what I’d do if Thomas had told me before then that the Annually was a joke,” I began, wetting my dry lips.
Mason turns in attention to my words, brows furrowed.
“We talked about it of course. If he had told me earlier would I have known what Malorie was going to do? Would I have believed him?”
So many possibilities. Too many outcomes.
Laughing without humor, I can’t help but scoff. “But that’s not what keeps me awake at night it’s the fact that, if Malorie wasn’t chosen at random... Did that meant I wasn’t chosen at random either?”
It was something that drove me crazy.
I had no connections.
No special privileges.
I came from a lonely town called NorthVille how the hell did I get picked?
No one had answers for me.
I asked Marlen, asked Thomas, asked the boys, I’m asking Mason now and he has yet to give me an answer.
So many questions left unanswered. So many things left to do.
“After waking up in that hospital...”
I forced myself to stare at his eyes.
The memories of my past.
The ones I’ve feared of.
“I saw something. A memory. Several, memories. First, it was my Dad cheating. Then Ethan and then the day my father jumped and then...”
He steps forward, deter mid to clear the ache fully visible in my heart. “What did you see?”
“Ravana.” I blurted out her name. “She uh... she and my father, they slept together. I found out and when my father died, I blamed her. I blamed her for everything.”
Her screams are loud.
Her hands are clawing for release.
Release I did not give her.
Not as I dragged the knife across the face.
The bubble in my chest expanded.
It showed no signs of slowing down and everything I’ve ever wanted to say is suddenly at the tip of my tongue.
“I should be scared.” How could I ever be afraid of who Thomas was when I wasn’t even sure who I, was?
“But I’m not, because I’ve done horrible things. Horrible, horrible things. Things I only remembered now.”
Mason is right in front of me but he might as well have been a million miles away.
No one could help me.
Not him, not Thomas, no one.
“It’s with that fact, that not knowing if my name getting picked out at the Annually wasn’t random that makes me so... so, angry.”
It’s clear now.
“I keep asking myself, why did I stop you guys from hurting Karen. Why, did I stop you guys from hurting those that hurt me..?”
The demons I’ve kept at bay.
The demons neither of them know.
“Mason... The day I don’t stop you... that’s the day you should be afraid of me.”
This time when Mason reaches for me, I don’t stop him as he pulls me into his embrace.
He doesn’t say anything.
He doesn’t judge what I’ve confessed.
He just holds me and hopes that it’s enough.
It will never be enough.
And as we stand there, silent, bothered, I can’t help but feel guilty for what I’ve told him.
Guilty because this isn’t over.
Pulling away, I clenched my fists behind my back so he didn’t have to see it. “There’s something else I need to tell you.”
“What’s wrong?” He’s quick to assume something is wrong. Something is, wrong.
Here goes nothing.
“I found out who the father of Malorie’s child was.”
Admitingly, I admired Mason’s quick change of expression as the declaration slips out my lips.
We’ve never talked about it.
Not since that day in the Skating Rink when they had to leave.
“She didn’t deserve to die like that I had to-” I swallowed hard, finding my veins turn to ice. “I had to do something.”
He’s silent for a while, green blue eyes swirling with conflict. “Do you know who it is?”
I nodded, unable to look at him in the eye. “I do.”
“You know him?” Mason’s wary. He knows what this means.
After what I told him, he’s smart to be wary.
“I wished I didn’t.” Letting out a loose chuckle, I tilt my head to the side and watched the New York City skyline. “I really, wished I didn’t.”
What could he say to that?
What could I, say to that?
One part of me is restrained. The part of me that wants nothing more but to wreck havoc without a damn in the world.
The part of me that I’ve gotten a glimpse off back in the bar a couple of hours ago.
The thing is, this part of me is so close, to being released.
It’s so close to being let loose.
“But maybe that’s a good thing,” Blinking distractedly, I faced my reflection against the metal railings. “Maybe that’s all I actually need.”
To live in my world, certain morals needed to be broken.
Certain rules needed to be amended.
Today may be a new year.
It may be the start of something great for most people.
But not me.
Travis is going to pay.
He needs, to pay.
All of them do.
“What are you going to do?” He’s gazing at me solemnly. Like he knows something terrible is about to happen.
“I’m going to find him.” I state.
“I’m going to find him and kill him.”
Looks like Vanessa isn't actually all that good ;)
You wanted action? Be prepared.
Let me know you're expectations!
Do you still prefer her as well... now, Vanessa or do you want to see a darker side of her?
Either way, you won't be able to decide because I'm the author XD.
Nonetheless, I'd really love to know you're opinions about this new side of her. (More like old side of her, just kept hidden)
P.S. Sorry for not updating, I've been swamped with competitions and exams.