Chapter 43: Break Apart
Unravel Him Playlist on Spotify.
Song; (Kings and Creatures- Captive) & (Max Ritcher- When she came back[Youtube])
The lights go off.
There’s a terrible screech before the stereo makes a loud crashing noise and jumbled music explodes the crowd into panicked shouts.
“What the hell is going on?!” The announcer screeches from somewhere in the distance.
Even without the mic, her voice is still painfully loud.
“Mike, get the goddamn lights-”
I’m pushed into a familiar chest as arms wrap around my figure, craning me around so I’m lifted instantaneously.
“Hold onto me,” He murmurs from above my head, somewhere in my hair.
My arms tighten around his back as we descended off the platform, the anxious crowd growing rowdier as the seconds pass.
We’re moving despite that, using the panic as a distraction to leave.
I don’t know where he’s taking me.
So I resolve into hiding my face behind his shirt, squeezing my body so tight to his, I fear of letting go.
“Alright everyone, calm down-get the lights Mike!”
We’re somewhere under the loft. Heavy footsteps can be heard above us as Thomas’s breathing grew shallower.
“This better work.” He mutters, lifting one hand above him.
I hear a thump of something hollow before a creak of light envelope the both of us.
He sighs in relief and steps through, ensuring the false door is securely locked behind us.
I feel, rather then see, the icy air as snow touched my warm skin.
“Shit,” He curses, no doubt feeling I’ve started to shake.
“Hold on, we’re almost there.”
We emerge out of an underground stairwell.
Thomas makes a couple swift turns in unknown alley ways and nearly drops me when another pair of footsteps come up from behind us.
He whirls around, fingers curled tight over my turned head to prevent anyone from seeing my face.
“Fuck, is that her?” A voice gasp, out of breath. The person edges dangerous close. I tensed. “Vanessa-”
“Jacket.” Thomas orders.
“Jacket, give me your jacket, now.”
“Alright, alright-” The voice quickly shifts out of his attire and within seconds, a bulky-like material is draped over me.
It smells masculine, almost citrus-like.
“Lets go before people start realizing that short circuit wasn’t them.” He fastens his pace, no doubt worried we’d be caught.
“We got other things to worry about,” The person behind us is huffing for air. “Jonas has his men tearing up the building as we speak, they’ll be on us if we don’t get off the grid.”
“Fuck, the balls off this guy.” Thomas mutters darkly.
“Well maybe you shouldn’t have stabbed him,”
“What are you...” Thomas, despite being confused and astonished, doesn’t slow his pace. “It wasn’t me.” He finally settled.
“Bullshit, then how-”
“I hurt Jonas.”
My voice is soft, child-like, too innocent to have came from a person that murdered without consequence.
“I hurt... Jonas.”
Something itched at the base of my throat.
The pit at the bottom of my stomach began to bubble.
It soars up my insides, filling my lungs and heart, causing my chest to ache in unimaginable panic.
“You’ll be all alone! I’m the only one that knows you! I know who you are!”
I can hear his voice.
The truth that I am, what I am.
“You’re going to die alone!”
Jonas was safe.
He was safety.
He was order.
He was peace.
I came to him to forget, to throw myself in the void and let go.
But what have I done?
I’ve stabbed him, literally, figuratively and at the back of my head, there’s a tiny part of me that’s screaming that I’ve lost my one and only opportunity to just, let, go.
“No,” I said, on the verge of trashing. “No, no fuck, no-”
Hot, boiling pain shot through my chest as I twist in aggravated agony.
“Do you hear me?! Do you hear me, Vanessa?”
I needed to get back to the Ring.
I needed that safety.
I needed to not, be here, with him.
After weeks of losing control, weeks of nothing, just emptiness, bleakness, nothing, nothing, nothing-feeling this, what he was doing to me, I didn’t want it.
It was scary.
It was unfamiliar.
It was terrifying.
I wanted oblivion, I wanted nothingness, I wanted to sink and sink and sink-
“Take me back,” The peril in my voice causes Thomas to tighten his hold.
“Take me ba-”
“No.” He snarls.
He knows the fear, lining my spine. He knows the urge, clouding my senses.
My fingers dig into his shoulder hard, hard enough that it would hurt. He doesn’t say a thing.
“I’m not letting you go back there.” He hisses, practically gritting his teeth.
“Thomas wait,” A hand grasp Thomas’s shoulder only for the heir of Graymoore to jerk out of their grip. “She’s scared, lets just slow down-”
“We’re not stopping.”
I open my eyes, terrified, and suddenly it’s hard to breathe.
I choke on air.
I choke on nothing.
I choke, desperate to get it out.
Out, out, out, out-
Cold air swamped my lungs as I twist and turn, unable to breathe properly without wheezing.
“We need to stop,” The voice is strain, aggravated, scared. “Stop, for gods sake’s, stop!"
“No, not until we’re clear!”
“SHE’S BREAKING APART!”
Thomas skidded to a stop at the abruptness and before he can react I threw myself out of his arms, my knees breaking the fall as I stumble, disoriented and confused.
I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe, fuck-
Gripping the jacket on my shoulders, I cast it out, no longer able to feel the cold, only the burning suffocation of pure fear.
“Shit, Ginger, listen to me. Listen to me-”
I can’t concentrate. I can’t think. I can’t focus.
My hands find the walls and I let them guide me as my gaze falters to the dirty cement floor.
Everything spins, like a roller coaster ride gone wrong.
“I... I can’t see.” My nails dig into a crack along the alley way.
It’s black, everything is black.
My ears are ringing and my vision won’t stop swimming.
“Why can’t I see?”
My foot tripped on something, kicking up a cloud of snow that hinders my mobility before I collapsed against something sturdy and cold.
“Fuck.” Thomas approaches me cautiously, I hear him keep a distance over what my next movements are.
I can’t tell.
I’ve chosen to lay still and pliant against the wall, pure exhaustion riddling me dry.
I was done.
I couldn’t do it anymore.
So I closed my eyes and laid there.
A voice called to me.
It seemed so far, yet so near.
I turn my head to the left, away from my audience and to the emptiness ahead.
For a moment, I’m fascinated... in awe at the daze-like feeling as the streaks of go over and up.
Heavy footfalls descended from the emptiness.
I barely make out vague outlines of shadows as numerous bodies stop before me, all of them colliding within one another.
Thomas releases a frustrated sound before he crouches, placing a hand on the wall above my head while the other circled my body to block my vulnerability to the world.
I can only see the tip of his collarbone from the way he has angled himself and allowed him to do with whatever he wished.
“Shit, is that...?”
Nobody approaches us, but the footsteps are hesitant, almost unsure.
“It’s her,” Thomas nods, keeping his tone blank.
“What happened?” The voice is familiar.
Warm and mild.
Light and cool.
“Don’t.” The heir of Graymoore warns, practically biting the word out. “We’re not out of danger yet.”
Another bout of silence.
“What did you do?” The warm voice demanded, Mason, a dangerous edge in his tone.
Thomas bristles. “What I had too.”
“That doesn’t answer the question, you prick-”
I hear Mason lunge forward but was abruptly stopped by one of the shadows behind them.
“You two, zip it.” A deep voice entailed, clearly frustrated. “I had my fill of ya’ll arguing-”
“You challenged her didn’t you?”
The tension in the air threatened to snap in two.
“Yes,” It wasn’t Thomas that spoke, rather the male behind him. “Mason, he had no choice, you didn’t see her-”
There was a shuffle.
Something heavy crashes into Thomas causing him to lose his grip on me and fall backwards from Mason who releases an animalistic growl.
The blurriness of their outlines makes it hard for me to tell, who is who.
“You knew what could’ve happened!” Mason yells, hands around Thomas’s throat. “Yet you risked it anyway!”
“You didn’t see what I saw!” Thomas defends, gritting his teeth at the over exertion as the bruises I pummeled on him earlier affected him now more then ever.
“Stop!” Numerous blurs rushed forward, the alleyway echoing in frenzied shouts of both anger and rage.
“This is getting us nowhere!”
“Shut up Evan and come help me!”
I hear someone sigh, the deep voice of the one that held Mason back. “Those idiots,”
Yes, they were idiots.
They were idiots because they cared.
They were idiots because they didn’t want to let me go.
I, didn’t want to let them go.
“You promised me, Nessa.”
There it was again.
The same voice.
Ignoring the commotion, I craned my neck upwards only to see white streaks conjoin in on itself.
So delicate. So perfect.
I want to reach out to touch it, I want to run my fingers down the streak and feel the glow beneath my palm.
“You promised, me.”
Warning bells flared in my mind, acutely aware of what was transpiring.
It can’t be.
That voice belonged to someone.
It was familiar, warm, caring...
“Why did you do it?”
“You... left,” I whispered out loud, deathly scared. “I didn’t know what else to do.”
“You knew exactly what you should have done.”
“No,” I moaned, hiding my face so my hands could block the skies. “Stop it. Stop-”
My subconscious is begging me to listen and I’m too caught up in my own emotions to care, much less do anything about it.
This isn’t real.
This isn’t real.
I am lucid enough to understand my guilty conscious is bleeding out.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“No. No you’re not. You’re not, just leave me alone, leave me alone!" I kick at the air in front of me, desperately scrambling up against the wall.
“Get away from me!”
I’m on the verge of hysteria at this point and it needs to stop, everything needs to stop.
“I didn’t want to leave, Ness. You know I wouldn’t have left you.”
“But you did!” I yell, the cry tearing out of my throat before I could stop it.
The dam, bursts.
The stitch, ruptures.
I break apart.
“You did, leave! You left, Ethan! You left! YOU LEFT ME!”
I barely registered someone speaking to get my attention before I’m sobbing.
I’m sobbing like my life depended on it.
I’m sobbing like nothing else mattered.
I’m sobbing out of pain, heartbreak, sorrow, death.
I’m sobbing because I can’t, stop, feeling.
I can’t stop, crying.
I can’t stop missing him.
Because that is what I should’ve done. That is what I should’ve tried to do.
I shouldn’t have tried to go through my grief, knowing it could cause me to lose my way.
I shouldn’t have tried hiding, knowing it was pointless.
I wasn’t invincible, I wasn’t made of rock, I wasn’t unbreakable.
Veronica betrayed me and I should’ve asked someone for help. Ethan died and I should’ve gotten someone to hold me.
I should have done, something, anything.
Its these things that makes me cry even more because I was too scared to run to others for help. I was too scared to tell others I was hurting.
I was human. I was vulnerable. I was so, so lost and I should have asked for help.
I should have asked for help.
Help me, those two words.
The two words Thomas expected me to ask of him when I was down in that basement with Jonas.
“Help me.” I whimpered, my soul fractured into a thousand pieces. “Help me, please, please, help me. Help me-"
“King, you fix this shit.” The deep voice snarls, beyond livid. I realized he’s holding me. Trying to get me to stop moving.
“I’m not losing another person I give a damn about to you, so fix it before I take her some where none of you can reach her!”
Its so hazy, so clogged.
Passing out becomes a possibility.
I can’t hear anything, see anything, feel anything-
“Ginger,” Feather-like touches gently trace my cheek, warm fingers gliding the tears away. “Baby... please.”
“Help me.” I murmur. “Please, help me.”
The fog clears enough for me to see who holds me.
“Then, tell me what to do.”
Two of his hands cup my cheeks, his forehead only inches away and his breath tickling my nose.
He’s close, so close that his weight encompasses us both and his warmth fired out.
“Tell me, how to help you.”
I realized he’s mask has disappeared during the altercation, leaving his features free.
“Because I can’t bear to see you cry.”
The eyes that stare back at me, so blue, so soul-catching, amassed a whirlwind of emotions.
Fear, worry, care, warmth, vulnerability... love.
Because its clear.
Because I see it.
Because I know.
He loves me.
“You love me,” I say, voice a whisper as the air between us froze. “You, love... me.”
Thomas goes frigid, frozen almost. It takes great effort for him to shake his head, a soft chuckle vibrating within his chest after several long moments.
“I do.” He confesses. “I do, you impossible girl.”
He pulls me into his mouth, holding firm against my neck as he kisses me, devours me, with every intent of rebuilding whatever that’s been broken.
I do, you impossible girl.
I respond with him, timid at first, unsure at the beating of my heart when he grows desperate, almost crazed.
He pins me against the wall and holds me there, forcing me to accept everything he’s offering.
A sizzling burn began to creep up my spine at his actions as he journeys across my face, peppering lightly on my cheek, nose, lids and forehead.
I feel his worry.
I feel his fear.
When he pulls away, he’s breathless, struggling to contain everything he’s locked up as it threatens to com bust and lay waste to all in sight.
“You love me too,” He swallows.
Thomas leans forward, stealing another kiss that leaves a single tear rolling down my cheek at the simplicity and care.
“You love, me.” He insisted softly, urging me to respond.
Another tear fell.
“Yes...” The admission startles us both. “I love you.”
The air felt like it might give way.
Words, actions, thoughts, all of them.
They were right in front of us.
All the signs pointing back to the things I’ve refused to see in fear of abandonment.
I love him... and he loves me.
Someone coughed behind us and Thomas carefully releases me, ensuring that our gazes remained locked even as the others stood and waited awkwardly.
With my heart, now beating for a completely different reason, I took the opportunity to scan my surroundings and finally put a name to the voices around me.
I am on the edge of passing out at this point as my mind fought to level itself with the fact that they’re all here.
“Red,” The deep voice.
I turn, confused, disoriented.
“Gave us quite a scare.”
“Try getting shot in the chest as a scare.” Another voice spoke.
I balked, quickly scrambling to a stand at the absurdity of what my own two eyes were seeing.
He smiles apologetically, dark eyes solemn and light. “I’m well, Ness.”
Well and alive.
I didn’t kill him.
Have I gone insane?
Did I die in the Ring?
How was this real?
I sunk further into the wall, hoping to god it could swallow me whole.
“You can thank your boyfriend over there.” He gestures over to Thomas who eyes me carefully, well aware I could collapse any moment.
Jackson opens up his shirt, revealing where the bullet had gone in, straight to a bulletproof vest.
“Cops off duty, gotta wear their gear too. State law-”
I’m.. eh, sorryfornotupdatingI’vebeenbusy.
My finals results comes out this week and a lot of things are going to happen after that so I might not update. But do not fret, I will be back, until then,
Love you tons for being patient with me, thank you for the reviews and support!