Chapter 9: Smiling
Unravel Him Playlist on Spotify.
Song; (Billie Eilish- you should see me in a crown)
The night was empty. Not a soul in sight.
I shouldn’t be out here.
I should be thinking about my safety.
I should be back home.
But what could I go home too?
Veronica, passed out?
Another one of her random flings snoring on my bed?
No. I decided.
Nobody was going to take care of me but myself.
Ducking into an abandon alley way, I make my way further into the darkness, keeping my hands tucked into my pockets.
Loud thumping music erupted from the ground and if you listened closely you can hear the excited cheering from the crowd below.
I slowed to a stop when a gratified door blocked my way.
After months of thinking, this was it.
The day I find out who I was. The day I find out exactly what these feelings were.
Pulling up my hood, I opened the door and descended down the stairs.
Dimly lit lights over head and the stench of iron and blood fills my sight and smell.
People move across the tunnels, a lot of them pressed up against a chain link platform.
Two fighters go head to head, their punches brutal.
I watch the scene in interest, finding the familiar feeling I’ve come to know these past few months build up at the act.
“Well, well...” A voice called out through the darkness.
I turned my head and spotted a pair of green eyes.
The rich boy of NorthVille and two years my senior.
His dark brown hair becomes much more evident once he rose to his feet and I take a moment to register his features.
Jonas was a notorious heart breaker. He could do whatever the hell he wanted and no one would stop him.
It doesn’t help that he was good looking too.
“Didn’t think you’d show up,” He hums, grinning.
"Cut the bullshit.” My tone clipped on itself as I glowered at Jonas.
The only reason why I had come up to him was simply because he knew where this place was.
“Alright then,” Lifting his palms he backed off. “You’re here, anything I can help you with?”
I stared at him for a long moment. “I want to fight.”
He frowns, not understanding my answer. “Fight?”
I don’t answer because it’s true.
Jonas probably thought I came here to sleep with him it’s why he’s been so eager to agree with my conditions.
Now that I’ve revealed my true intentions it’s clear Jonas doesn’t like it.
“This isn’t a joke Vanessa,” He muses. “This is the Ring. People fight for blood.”
“I have blood to spare,” I retaliated, my anger becoming increasingly visible.
Jonas shakes his head before glancing sideways. “Come on,” He grabs my forearm and drags me into the shadows so we were hidden behind a pillar.
“Why the sudden need?” He demanded, tone aggravated. “If it’s because you’re Dad-”
“This has nothing to do with my dad,” Glaring vehemently at him, I don’t miss how he flinched.
“I’m sick and tired of people looking at me like I’m a wounded animal. I’m not. I’m alive, I’m breathing. My Dad is dead, I’m not and I want to fight so are you going to help me or not?”
If he won’t do it I’ll find someone else that will.
Turning on my heel I’m about leave when I hear him call back.
“I can help... maybe.”
Arching an eyebrow, I ignored the screaming from the crowd when one of the fighter’s got knocked down.
“What do you want in return?” I was in no mood to play games if he had hidden intentions.
“Let’s have a bet.” Jonas shrugs his shoulders and stares down at me. “If you can beat me in the Ring I’ll give you the connections I know you need.”
“If I lose?”
Desire pools in the depths of those green eyes and I don’t miss how he licked his lips.
“If you lose, I get to fuck you whenever I want.”
He waited for a reaction.
He waited for me to walk away.
When I remained cool and unflinching, the corner of his lips turn up into a smirk. “Do we have a deal?”
It was a challenge.
6 years ago
Ravana looks the same since the last time I saw her.
Her black hair is still long and she still uses that bold red lipstick.
It’s the smile I can’t stand.
The smile that makes me want to gut her.
“You’re not paying me to sit here and do nothing Vanessa, you’re going to have to cooperate with me.” Ravana sighs at me once she notices I’ve been zoning out.
Blinking, I cleared out the image of me murdering her and smiled. “Sorry, it’s been a long night.”
“Where did you go?”
“You went to the Ring?”
My nod is the only answer she got.
Almost instantly a frown is placed on her forehead. “I thought we’ve been over this Vanessa, you shouldn’t be going to places like that.”
“I can’t help it,” I snide sarcastically, watching her carefully. “Better to do something then nothing.”
She clicks her tongue and writes something down on her clipboard. “You know you’re not alone,”
“You’ve been attending my sessions for a year now Vanessa, we should be more honest with each other.”
There was genuine concern in her voice.
But her eyes... god, her eyes made me want to rip them out.
If she only knew why I was here.
If she only knew I was doing this for my own benefit.
For over a year now, I’ve been waiting, biding time.
Winning against Jonas was just the beginning.
It didn’t take long for things to spread around that the fatherless girl was now a vicious fighter.
Within months I’ve climbed the ranks of the other fighters, sponsors left and right begged for my attention.
The money wasn’t important.
The fighting was.
Jackson has been trying to reach for me but I’m beyond even his help.
The others had already begun to call me a name I’m fond of.
I won’t deny the name had it’s purpose.
I was born for this role.
She doesn’t know the girl sitting in front of her could break her neck like a toothpick.
“I’m afraid our time is up,” Ravana gets up off her chair and tucks her files back. “My next patient will be arriving shortly, I believe you know you’re way out?”
Ravana was going to have to understand what she did.
She was going to understand how she destroyed an innocent girl’s life by sleeping with her father.
I would gladly tell her.
“I think Marcus Penned can wait for a while don’t you agree?” I hid a smile behind my hand.
“How...” She froze. Slowly but surely, she turns her torso so her gaze locked with mine. “How did you know his name?”
“You mean his real name?” Straightening myself, I crossed my legs over the other so I had an elbow on one knee. “Raymond is a pretty shitty name for hiding an affair if I’m being honest.”
Ravana choked on her own spit and hastily swallowed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t worry, I know about the others too. Henry, James, Aiden...” The list goes on.
The more I spoke, the more she paled.
“Alright I get it.” She stops me, hastily putting a halt to the never ending list. “What do you want? Money?”
I release a sharp laugh that causes her to flinch.
“Oh Ravana it was never about the money.” Standing up, I cracked my shoulders and felt the blade I prepared rest coolly on my side.
“Does the name Vail, ring any bells for you?”
“Don’t even think about lying.” I snarled, dropping all pleasantries.
She shook under my stare unable to understand how quickly I changed.
Jonas once told me when I fight I become a completely different person.
Maybe this was it.
“Yes...” She trails off. “Yes I do know him.”
“Did,” I corrected, reminding the both of us that he was dead.
“I did,” She repeats, stuttering. “He committed suicide a year an a half ago. He was my patient.”
“So you do remember all the guys you fucked,” Smiling cynically, I stare at the floor, distracted.
“The man is dead." She snaps. “Have some respect.”
“You should have respected his family.” I rebuke, finding my voice raising an octave.
“I don’t understand...” Ravana lowers her voice, confused. “Miss Ruth, who was he to you?”
That’s what I introduced to her when I first came to her sessions.
Unfortunately for her, she wasn’t the only one putting fake names on records.
A wicked smile crosses my face. “He was my Dad.”
I slam her against the wall, my elbow digging hard onto her collarbone with as much force as one needed to crush someone.
Her head bounce against the concrete and she cries out, nails digging hard onto my grip that was keeping her pinned.
“Do that again,” I pulled the blade from it’s tucked position, the edge smoothly skinning her pearly neck. “And I’ll make sure you never get to speak.”
The amount of venom laced in my tone sends red flags to the psychiatrist.
“W-We-” She swallows hard and struggles to maintain coherent words. “We can talk about this...”
“The time for talking is over.” I spit at her. “You had a year. I gave you a year. A year to prove to me you’re not the sanctimonious bitch you really are.”
How dare she begged. “My family is broken, because of you.”
“He needed my help,” She protested, choking on her own fear. “I helped him.”
“He had cancer!” The force of my voice sends her reeling back into the wall, fingers pressed against it as though she hoped it would swallow her whole.
“You took advantage of him and didn’t bat an eye when he died.”
“T-That’s not true-”
“I watched you.” The blade was cutting skin.
I wanted to push further.
I wanted to watch her bleed.
I wanted to watch her choke in her own blood.
After my father’s funeral, I spent the rest of my time watching her, collecting information and doing everything I can to expose her for who she was.
“Did you know what it was like?” I was in my own world. Lost to the past and lost to the future. “Watching him jump? Watching him land on the pavement, his body mangled beyond saving?”
“Please, Vanessa, the knife. Put the knife down.” I see tears brim at the corner of her eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry-”
“No you’re not sorry.” I ran my finger down the back of the knife. “You’re only sorry you got caught.”
The need to hurt her became clear.
I’m suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling of blood lust.
Make her bleed.
Make her bleed like how your father did.
She notices my expression and panics. “I broke it of with him when I knew he had a family. I didn’t know, I swear!”
A brief peek in my peripheral vision allows me to see the vents from where I hid when I first found out about the affair.
Cynical laughter abruptly rings across the room and Ravana stills under my amusement.
The coward still has the nerve to lie to my face.
That’s when my vision flashes red.
I barely heard her screams as the blade dug into her skin, cutting viciously into her eyebrow before I’ve dragged it across her nose and cheek.
Beads of blood drip down the blade and splatter onto the marble floor.
I keep dragging. I keep hurting.
“PLEASE!” She gasped, throat clogged up in response.
Months of fighting in the Ring allows me an upper hand.
She wasn’t going to go anywhere.
Ravana’s fingers weakly claw my face, drawing blood from her nails. “S-stop-please-”
Releasing her, she falls to her knees, clutching her ruined face.
There’s a painful sob followed by a wretched cry.
When she gazes up at me, I take the first good look of what I’ve done.
The skin on her right eyebrow is torn. Blood oozed out of the slash, creating brutal jagged pieces of uneven flesh.
No one will ever fall victim to her charms anymore.
“Enjoy you’re last few hours of peace.” Picking up my bag, I discarded the bloodied knife inside before tossing a soulless stare. “It’s about to get uglier for you.”
I left the room, bloodied and empty.
People need to know that no wrong thing comes without consequences.
Giving Jonas a text, I alerted him of the next step.
With an hour, Ravana’s activities revealed themselves in the light and her reputation crumbled along with the other guys she’s slept with.
I never found out what happened to her after I did it.
I never bothered.
The world only consisted of myself.
I eat, sleep, fight, the day repeats.
Nothing else mattered.
The funny thing was after she was found dead in her own home having hung herself two years later, I remembered nothing about that day but smiling.
Forgetting was easy. Remembering? That was harder.
Images flash before my eyes.
Finding out my father cheated.
Going to the Ring.
It made sense now.
The reason why I stopped before things could go any further.
The reason why I would shy away from brutal revenge.
Why I was confused.
The Ice Rink.
It’s because I never went as far as I did to Ravana with anyone else.
Maybe that’s why I’ve forgotten about it.
Maybe that’s why I chose, to forget about it.
I killed someone.
I may not have pulled the trigger but I orchestrated the attack.
Acknowledging what I did to her would be to acknowledge another part of me that has yet to come to the light.
I was deadlier then Thomas.
Deadlier then the boys combined.
A person feeling unclear about who they were is more dangerous then a bomb ready to go off.
That’s all it needed.
What would happen after?
The black clouds part and I emerge from the void with a heaving gasp.
I was awake.