Burning lungs, swollen legs, hurting stomach, headache and sleepiness.
It won’t stop and I can’t fall asleep because every time I try to, the burn in my lungs start to hurt even more.
I don’t want to call the nurse and I don’t want to be spoon fed. Jonah is at school and mom had to go to work.
I have been fine over the past few days, but today I feel like I could just die.
I feel like death.
However, I am finally not being watched 24/7 and I don’t feel like raising worry.
When the room starts spinning though, I remember what happened last time when I didn’t tell anyone and decide to call the nurse.
With a deep sigh, I press the button and within minutes the nurse is in my room.
However, I see three of her so I close my eyes when I speak. I speak slowly and softly to try and minimize the burn.
“I-I don’t feel too good.” Immediately the nurse calls Doctor Dimitri and comes to help me off the bed.
“You have a fever.” I nod and point towards my now almost completely healed scar.
“Your stomach is in pain.” I nod again and as we pass the bathroom, I find myself running.
I make it just in time to spill the nothing that I ate into the toilet. Not this again!
The pain is worse than it was at school and the burning in my lungs doesn’t make it any better.
I don’t know how much longer I can handle this; the pain and burn is just too much for me.
And now as I am busy emptying my insides into the toilet with a bunch of tubes stuck into my hand, I know that I need to start getting something done properly.
Soon I feel a little better and I shrink myself into a small ball on the bathroom floor with tears streaming down my face.
I still feel the pain and the burn. The pain in my stomach is now unbearable and I find myself bringing my knees tighter to my chest.
I don’t want to move, it only hurts.
These are the things that Jonah doesn’t see. He is in school when this happens and so he thinks that it is going better.
However, I feel like asking them to just kill me if it means that this terrible feeling will go away.
There is no way I am telling Jonah or my mom, they have enough worries, especially my mom.
“Symptoms include fever, abdominal pain, she has bloated a bit and she is vomiting” I hear the nurse talking before the doctor eases me up and into a wheelchair that they brought here.
I feel safer knowing he is here now and force myself to smile as I look into his worried eyes.
“Averly, I know that you don’t feel strong enough right now, but I am worried about something and I need to have tests done. Your symptoms are making me worry.” I close my eyes tight while I process his words.
I don’t have the power for this, not the strength or want. As I am about to answer him, my hand shoots to my chest covering my heart.
“What now?!” I try to answer but can’t so instead I let him feel how my heart is beating to come out of ribcage two seconds and then it changes to a small beat for two seconds over and over this repeats.
“My lungs are burning.” doctor Dimitri nods and then he gets up from his knees and wheels me to the one room I hate.
The room where he does all his tests and check-ups on me. This means that I have to just suck it up.
“I am going to call your mother.” I shake my head and he gives me a confused look.
“She has too much going on, let her have her rest at work. She deserves it.” I nearly laugh at the thought.
I am the one who lays around the whole day and I am only getting worse by the day.
My mom is busy and running every day and she is the one who is getting a rest.
The irony in that is just terrible.
He takes a few seconds and soon nods at me and as they roll my into the room, I take a deep breath and hope for the best.
“Strawberry or banana?” I smile wide and without a second thought answer with “strawberry!”
Everyone lets out a hearty laugh and the waitress walks away with a smile on her face.
“I am being sent back in a week, we are going to Afghanistan.” mom and I frown at the same time.
“For how long?” Dad gives me an apologetic look “three months.”
“But dad my birthday is in two months and you promised me that we could have a party . . . Together.” he sighs “I know honey, when I get back though we can party away.”
I smile and nod in agreement.
He never got back though.
Slowly I open my eyes and find myself in my room again. Luckily I am not in any pain anymore since the doctor gave me a sedative to numb it.
So I passed out after the tests and dreamt about my dad and hopefully they will have the test results before Jonah and my mom arrive.
Then as if knowing what I am thinking, Doctor Dimitri walks in with a file and a worried look on his face.
“Averly I have bad news.” I give him a curious look "tell me something new."I mumble and he puts the file down in front of my bed on the table thingy.
“I did the tests and ran for your sugar levels finding that it’s going haywire. Then I did a bit more things that I looked into deeper and Averly, you have developed chronic pancreatitis.” I give him a flat look “what is that?”
“Your pancreas is shutting down, it’s going into pancreatic failure. The damage it does is permanent, but I can treat the symptoms. Not the problem itself though” I slowly nod.
“And what does this mean for me?” He gulps before answering me.
“You are very sick. This shows that more of your organs are slowly starting to fail due to your heart problems that affected your lungs. Every organ failing affects the next organ. I can treat it best I can, but you will have to respond to the treatment really well” he says and we stay silent for a oment before I speak again.
"what happens if I don't want any treatment?" I ask and his eyes snap to mine in a second "It's like cancer. If you refuse treatment, ten I can't force you; however because you are under age you would need your mom's approval." I nod at him and look out the window without sayin anything frther.