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Chapter 9

“Averly your kidneys are being affected by the coronary disease you have.” my mom raises a confused eyebrow and the doctor starts to explain.

“See, your blood isn’t getting completely cleaned and your kidneys need that clean blood to function properly.” I slowly nod.

“What does this mean for her?” Dr Dimitri sighs “at the moment it is both the kidneys being affected . . . Badly. If we are unable to stop this then your condition will take another turn . . . For the worse.”

“How will you stop it?” I look at him expectantly and he looks almost hesitant to say it, “I can try treatment, but the chances of it working is very slim. Your kidneys have really been badly affected.”

My mom starts to look like she is going to pass out as she asks “isn’t there anything else you can do?” Dr. Dimitri sighs “I could maybe try to find her a donor, but she needs two and putting her under anesthetic is very hazardous for where her health is right now.”

Vigorously my mom shakes her head “no, we have to try something else doctor, I can’t lose my daughter, let alone on an operation table. I have already lost one part of her.” I immediately know that she is talking about my dad.

My dad was in the army, he used to be away for months and then be home for a few months. The months that he was home were the best, he would always take me to different places, tell me exciting stories, bring me awesome things from the places he visits and he would always protect his family.

When I turned 16 it was kind of a big deal since, it’s 16 and I am an only child. Dad couldn’t be home on my birthday since he had to stay there another week, but he still sent me a present.

He wrote me a letter and bought me a car, he also got me a new drum kit and a bunch of small other things, unfortunately four days later when I saw two people walk up to my house it wasn’t what I thought. I thought dad has come home and sent them to come fetch us and tell us, but instead they came and told us that dad had passed away at war.

It was the worst day of my life and I vowed never to drive my car or play my drums. The memories are too much for me. I would rather admire. I do still think of him a lot though and it is incredibly hard not to use the things he had gotten me back then.

I feel a few tears rim my eyes and then concentrate on seeing my mom and doctor in a heated discussion.

“Could you please leave me alone, I am tired.” they both look my way and I close my eyes to make them believe me and also stop the tears which I am fighting.

I hear the door close and open my eyes to see an empty room. Jonah usually helps me with this, but since he left I have even more reason to be in tears.

My condition is getting worse, my boyfriend and best friend left me and I just want my dad. I just want one of his ‘it is going to be okay’ hugs. Unfortunately I can’t get one, because it isn’t going to be okay. Nothing is.

I wipe my tears when something by my room window catches my attention. I concentrate and see it again and again and again and again. Soon there are millions.

Colored balloons. I love them so much. All of them are floating in the sky, making their way to a happy place. Being beautiful “I know how much you love colored balloons.” my head snaps to the door and I can’t believe what I am seeing.

There Jonah stands with a soft smile on his face, flowers in the one hand, a teddy in the other and his guitar on his back.

“I thought you left me” he shakes his head and hands me the lillies he got me. He puts the teddy, holding a heart, down and takes his guitar off of his back.

“I need to prove a point. It feels like you don’t believe that I truly do love you, like you believe I will leave at any moment, but that is not true.” I raise an eyebrow and he takes a seat next to me after giving me a peck on the lips.

He checks if his guitar is tuned and then looks at me again “the balloons I had released symbolize my memories, there are not nearly enough to describe the wonderful times we have had but you get the point. I found the most amazing song for you and I want you to understand how I feel about this” I nod.

“Remember a few weeks after we met? We were at a party and it was all dark and we danced and everything?” I giggle at the memory. The one day I didn’t take any meds. I got piss drunk too.

“Okay now keep that in mind.”

He starts playing the melody and I immediately love it. He then looks me in the eyes allowing me to see every emotion as he sings

“I met you in the dark
you lit me up...
You made me feel as though
I was enough...

We danced the night away
we drank too much
I held your hair back when
you were throwing up

Then you smiled over your shoulder
For a minute, I was stone cold sober
I pulled you closer to my chest
And you asked me, to stay over
I said, I already told ya
I think that you should get some rest

I knew I loved you then
But you’d never know
Cause I played it cool when I was
Scared of letting go
I knew I needed you
But I never showed
I wanna stay with you
Until we’re grey and old
Just say you won’t let go
Just say you won’t let go

I’ll bring you coffee with
A kiss on your head
I’ll take the kids to school
Wave them goodby
I thank my lucky stars for that night

When you looked over your shoulder
For a minute, I forget that I’m older
I wanna dance with you right now
You looked as beautiful as ever
And everyday you get a little better
You make me feel this way somehow

Cause I’m gonna love you till
My lungs give out
I promise till death we part
Like in our vows
Yeah, we’ve come so far my dear
Look how we’ve grown
And I wanna stay with you
Until we’re grey and old
Just say you won’t let go
Just say you won’t let go

Just say you won’t let go
Oh, Just say you won’t, say you won’t, say you won’t
Say you won’t, say you won’t let go
Just say you won’t let go
Just say you won’t let go
Just say you won’t let go” he looks emotional as he finishes the song and looks up at me “I love you Averly, and I am here to stay, just don’t let go. Fight this because you are stuck with me forever.” I smile and wipe my tears.

“I had a dream last night Ava, I was telling our little girls a story of a queen and king, how they loved their daughters to bits and before I could finish they were asleep and I carried you to our room. Ava this is not the end. You are going to make it through this with me by your side and then we are going to live happily ever after.” I feel more tears come. I had the same dream, I had the same thoughts afterward and I still believe it!

“Someone as beautiful inside and out as you deserves to live. You deserve to love and you shouldn’t cry. Your dad is proud of you Ava and he would tell you to stay strong” he puts down his guitar and leans down as I wrap and arm around his neck and connect our lips.

When we pull away for air, he lies down next to me on the bed “I will be here every step of the way Ava.”

I smile, thankful that he will be with me and didn’t leave after all.

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