Welcome to A&S Chatroom!
Ashes2Ashes: Hi Tatiana, I see you got Freya’s invite through her email :)
Tatiana: I did. Will I now be riddled with worms and viruses since I downloaded some strange app on my computer. I want to back up any files before that happens. ;)
Ashes2Ashes: LOL! Not at all! I made the app for a school project. Need the credits to pass. Now you are all my little guinea pigs <eg>
So where is every1 else? Or am I the only one dumb enough that dl’ed the thing? Should I expect the blue screen of death soon?
Ashes2Ashes: They should be along soon. Prolly still in class. I never attend classes so I’m free to do as I please X)
Tatiana: Fantastic- I’m stuck in a dubious chatroom with am underachiever tech geek.
Ashes2Ashes: Don’t knock it ’til you tried it! :D
Anyway- tell me about yourself. Tatiana is a Russian name, isn’t it? Are you from the country previously dubbed the USSR? And should we call you Tatiana or is Ana okay?
Tatiana: Ana is fine, though my mother would cringe if she heard me say that. My mother is from Russia, father’s from Chicago. I was born in Seattle.
Ashes2Ashes: Sweet. My name is Asher but evry1 calls me Ash. Hence the screen name. You should change yours too, Ana.
You still there?
Ana: yeah- is that better?
Ashes2Ashes: Meh... so-so. You should come up with a cool name like I did.
Ana: Ashes2Ashes? I guess the tech geek’s definition of cool varies greatly in Colorado.
Greyhound: Is this thing fucking on?
Ana: Anyway, besides school what do you do?
Ashes2Ashes: Grey! Sup bro?
Greyhound: Nada. Just sitting in some lame ass chat room from 1995 apparently. :-/
Greyhound: Who’s the chick? And why can’t we have our own icons- like real ones? I don’t wanna hide this pretty face behind a computer screen. I need to share it with the world.
Ashes2Ashes: working on it bro. perfection takes time. This is Ana. She’s from Seattle.
Greyhound: Hey, babe- ASL?
Ashes2Ashes: Jeez, you don’t even know the chick, fool. She could be a hermaphrodite for all you know.
Greyhound: she’d still have a hole I could fuck.
And I’m not a hermaphrodite. Only the appropriate holes here, tyvm. :)
Greyhound: So... answer the question ASL?
Ana: ugh fine. 21/female (obviously we’ve got that cleared up by now- at least hopefully)/Seattle.
Ashes2AShes: Hoping for that hermaphrodite, huh?
Greyhound: uhm no... too far away.
Ana: you all are in Boulder CO?
Greyhound: what do you do?
Ana: nothing, I’m in school for now. Getting my degree in physical therapy.
Greyhound: I could get physical with you.
Ashes2Ashes: I need to make a facepalm emoji for this room ASAP
Ashes2Ashes: don’t let Grey scare you. He’s already in love with someone else. He just doesn’t know when to turn the flirt off.
Greyhound: fuck off, bro. don’t be spreading shit.
Ashes2Ashes: What? It’s only you, me and Ana here. Nobody else can see it.... yet.
Greyhound: Is there a private message function in here in case I want to sext someone?
Ashes2Ashes: next week bro. I’m fine-tuning. This is chatroom 1.0
Greyhound: who the fuck talks in chatroom anymore? I’ll tell you... old men who want to perv on little boys and girls. This is fucking weak.
Ana: So what do you do Grey?
Greyhound: I study Business, going to open my own chain of gyms.
Ana: :-I Another ruse to bring young women in to flirt and hopefully fuck?
Ashes2Ashes: Haha! Busted!
Ashes2Ashes: You’re going to fit in just fine here, Ana.
Greyhound: So is Ana short for something? Anabelle... Anastasia? Or is it just Ana?
Ana: Short for Tatiana
Greyhound: I don’t like it. I’m giving you a new name...
Ana: :-I it’s fine, Grey.
Greyhound: .... still thinking
Ashes2AShes: brb, gotta drain the lizard
Greyhound: TMI dude. just admit you’re actually pinching a loaf or manhandling yourself.
So... your name is Grey or is it short for something as well?
Greyhound: Greyson- but don’t call me that, I fucking hate my full name. I sound like some English pussy who drinks tea and talks about cricket or whatever. Like that shit’s a real man’s sport.
Ana: And what is a real man’s sport? Football?
Greyhound: hell yeah- or ice hockey. Anything where severe bodily injury is a daily possibility. What’s the worst that could happen in cricket? The wide end of that bat thing gets shoved up ur ass?
Ana: I think it’s called the blade.
Greyhound: semantics. that games for pussies.
Greyhound: So... what do you look like Tati? Pics are appreciated- bikini or less gets you a photo of my dick.
Ana: oh brother. So... who are you in love with?
Greyhound: nuh huh- this is about you? so... photo?
Ana: You remember Carmen Elektra?
Greyhound: Yeah? <3
Ana: Nothing like her.
Greyhound: You’re no fucking fun.
Ana: I have my moments. :D
Greyhound: so if you DID look like a celebrity- who would it be?
Ana: Dudley Moore
Greyhound: Isn’t that a dude?
Ana: Hey- you were the one looking for some hermaphrodite loving.
Greyhound: I’ll tell you who I’m in love with next week if you send me a photo today.
Ana: Nope. First of all, I don’t care enough to know and second, I don’t have any photos of myself half-naked.
Not that I would share them with you at any rate.
Greyhound: It can be a clothed photo.
Ana: Hmmm.... maybe then
Ashes2Ashes: If you send him that photo I’m sure he’ll just use it to jack off to.
Greyhound: the fuck...
Ana: It doesn’t have to be my photo. I could send him any random photo and claim it’s me.
Greyhound: Only Freya would tell me whether or not it was you or not.
Ana: You’re not helping your cause. Ash... who’s loverboy head over heels for? The fucker won’t tell me.
Greyhound: Don’t you dare. You know I can beat your ass so that even your own mama won’t recognize your dead body in the morgue.
Ashes2Ashes: sorry ana, the man will do it and this face is too pretty to ruin on account of your curiosity.
Greyhound: hell yeah.... except for the bit about your pretty face. You look like a frog that got its face smashed in by the flat end of one of those cricket bats.
Greyhound: whatever, baby
Ashes2Ashes: should I leave you two alone in here to flirt or will Grey need to use his spank bank fodder of ‘she who shall not be named’ again this evening?
Ana: Don’t leave me here with him!
Ana: sorry not sorry
Kaybae: Hey baby!
Ashes2Ashes: Hey baby. Ana this is Kaylie, my girl.
Ana: omg, a tech geek with a girl... alert the presses
Greyhound: ha ha turd!
Ashes2Ashes: :*( and all this time I thought we were friends.
Ana: You wouldn’t spill the beans so all bets are off.
Anyway, Kaylie, this is Tatiana or Ana. She’s friends with Freya.
Greyhound: her name’s Tati. I thus proclaim it and so it shall be.
Ashes2Ashes: insert eye roll here.
Kaybae: Hey Ana! Freya mentioned meeting you at the convention this past winter! Nice to meet you.
what didn’t you spill, hon?
Greyhound: shut it, Ash
Ashes2Ashes: who Grey’s been in love with for like a year.
Kaybae: Oh that’s an easy one.
Greyhound: Kaylie, I’m not afraid to hit a woman.
Kaybae: bullshit. You wouldn’t hit me if your life depended on it. I’m adorable.
Ana... Grey may act tough but he’s a warm cuddly teddy bear inside.
Ana: a horny teddy bear maybe...
Kaybae: it’s an act. He flirts with anything with a vagina but its all about Freya for him.
Greyhound: fuck, Kay. what the hell?
Kaybae: we all know it... I think Freya even does but she’s too busy hopping from one dick to the next to notice you.
Ana: this got awkward all of the sudden.
So... Freya. She’s gorgeous. I don’t blame you. If I swung for that team I’d be on her.
Greyhound: I hate you all
Ana: What? I would.
So are you all friends living in Boulder?
Kaybae: yeah, we’ve all known each other for years. you’re the only newb around here. We should all share pics!
Greyhound: An outstanding idea!
Ana: I decline
Ashes2Ashes: Grey’s already tried to get her to give him a bikini pic... or a nude
Greyhound: what? she could be hot! I’m single... wait, are you single, Tati?
Ashes2Ashes: Grey had to be different and call her his own little pet name
Ana: I’m single and soooo not ready to mingle
Ana: Well, first off my asshole ex slept with a friend of mine so men suck in general right now. Plus- why would it matter if I was or wasn’t? I don’t know you and you’re way too far away at any rate. or- you could have two heads for all I know. And you’re in love with Freya.
Greyhound: Oh baby I DO have two heads. Wanna see?
Ana: God no!
Ashes2Ashes: Dick on a stick is gonna scare the fresh fish off before he even gets her to bite.
Kaybae: Grey get ur head out of ur ass
Greyhound: Fuck this place is lame. No damned way there isn’t some option to share a photo up in here.
Ashes2Ashes: Uhm yeah- I’ll get on that dick pic photo share option right away
Greyhound: What’s your full name Tati?
Greyhound: just curious
Ana: ugh, Tatiana wheeler
Greyhound: excellent, Tatiana Wheeler. Facebook here I come.
Ashes2Ashes: I thought you got rid of facebook after that stalker last year.
Greyhound: I’m going incognito. fake profile.
Ana: and I’m making my profile private as we speak.
Kaybae: why you so interested in getting into Ana’s pants? Freya not bossing you around as much as you like anymore?
Greyhound: shut it, Kay. And it’s Tati. Leave me alone... I’m Facebooking or whatever.
Ana: no you’re not.
Greyhound: Ooooh, Tati... brunette lives in Seattle Washington? wavy hair... Are those hazel or green eyes you got, girl?
fuck my life
Greyhound: nice bod, baby girl, care to let me take it for a test drive?
Kaybae: Grey send me the link in here I wanna see what she looks like.
Greyhound: back off Kay
Ashes2Ashes: Oooooh I see her! very, very nice.
Ashes2Ashes: I mean not as good as my girl, but definitely hot
Kay: I’m so out of here.
Ashes2Ashes: I think I have a situation to address now. bye, guys.
(long pause in chat room)
Greyhound: babe, you still there?
Ana: would it matter if I said no?
Greyhound: give me your digits
Ana: do you ever ask or does demanding everything actually work for you?
Greyhound: with a face and body like mine, I don’t have to demand. They come freely. ten extra inches below the belt doesn’t hurt either
Ana: Ten? TMI dude- seriously
Greyhound: come on, I said please.
Greyhound: so we can talk
Ana: isn’t that what we’re doing now?
Greyhound: Seriously, you asked about Freya but do you really want to know?
Ana: sort of, but not if it comes with you hitting on me every other sentence. I mean honestly, why do it if you’re madly in love with one of your friends?
Greyhound: It’s a good way to blow off some steam, especially with a beautiful woman. :-)
Ana: if I give them to you, do you promise to keep the flirting at a minimum?
Greyhound: I promise to do my best. It’s the best I can do. Flirting is like the art of dicking down a girl. I’ve mastered it.
Ana: you aren’t helping your cause.
Ana: fine, but if I hear any heavy breathing I’m hanging up the phone and blocking your number.
Greyhound: I’m ready for you to give it to me... the number that is ;)
Ana: I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?
Greyhound: I’m a catch, baby. No one’s ever regretted knowing me.
Ana: In the literal or biblical sense?
Greyhound: Both, Baby- both.
A/N: Please let me know what you think so far.