The roller coaster named life

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Panic

The soft warmth of morning sun, embedded in the blankets softer than what clouds could be I was in such deep sleep that it seemed to be the best one I had in so long and that might be true too for I was comfortable to the level where I woke up with a smile on my face.

But the hell broke loose the moment my eyes opened, for facing them was a room only worthy of being in a magazine, white dominated the said room accented by peach here and there, such elegant and regal looking furniture littered the room that seemed to have appeared straight out a magazine. It didn’t even take a single moment for my mind realized that this was not my own room for the size of this room was equivalent to half my apartment and only the furniture in the sitting area at the right corner of this room seemed to have a price tag of the same amount of all my furniture combined and then some more.

My mouth hung open, eyes wide and breath caught, I sat there stupidly gawking at the room straight for my mind was unable to form any coherent reason as to why was I here. Gathering my thought the only conclusion I could draw right now was that somehow I got drunk and ended up at some one-night stand’s home albeit a very rich one. I quickly got up from the bed and soon realized that buttons of my shirt had been torn open and my panic rose, but I had no time to mull over this so I quickly went to one of the two doors on the left wall of room hoping at least one to be a bathroom which turned out to be true. Getting myself cleaned up and trying to cover up myself with the torn shirt as I came out my gaze fell on the t-shirt sitting on one of the chairs, I must have not noticed it in my state of panic but being utterly thankful and quickly grabbing it I put it on with lightning speed. The grey t-shirt was big enough to pass as a dress on me and somehow smelt familiar but I was unable to remember from where or how. Deciding it was better to leave when I had the chance to avoid the awkward confrontation with whoever’s house this was, I slipped out of the room quietly and took merely 10 steps to and I was face to face with a marble stairway so grand that reminded me of the castle turned museum we visited as kids on the school trip. Going down the stairs I was again left stunned for this home truly seemed nothing less than a castle, the magnificent hall with floor to ceiling windows forming the wall of farthest left side made of the tinted glass but still giving a hint of the lush greens outside, the furniture probably made from the Cherry and Dalbergia carved to the perfection and curtains and paintings adding to its regal look. When I realized I had halted again mesmerized with the sheer beauty of this home, I quickly willed my head to come to some sense and crossed the white marble floor of this gigantic hall reaching the main doors, but my breathing became rapid and heart thundered, panic filling me to the brim when the door was found to be locked. Trying again and again the situation remained the same. My mind filled with the memories and dread consumed me whole, flashbacks of last time when I found myself in this kind of locked up situation started to run before my eyes and I seemed to have lost my ability to breathe, sweat running down my face and chest aching I realized it was a panic attack I was having, this realization only made things worse, just as I was about to fall two strong arms pulled me into a very hard muscled chest cradling me like a baby.

The scent same as that of the shirt I was wearing, calming me down with the gentleness of his hold and a smooth yet husky voice whispering calming sweet nothings in my ear, focusing on his steady heartbeat and mere presence I felt myself slowly calming down and the panic attack finally passing over. He held me till he was satisfied I was fine, for which I was extremely thankful for I had no energy left and neither did my legs had the strength to hold me up straight. He seemed to have figured this out and picked me up started walking to somewhere and that was when my mind started working again and my senses kicked in, I started thrashing to be left alone for I will not let myself to be abused again, even with to all my moving and thrashing He simply tightened his hold on myself and very calmly whispered - “Shh... I will never harm you, you are safe here.”

Somewhere inside I knew who this voice and smell belonged to but I still refused to believe for I still had not seen his face and my face still was tucked in his chest and my body resting in his arms, him carrying me with such ease and walking with such grace. Somewhere inside I knew who he was and this knowledge along with the words he just said brought a wave of calm over me and somehow I already believed him. This sent my mind in an even bigger frenzy for this was something very much new and foreign to me, why was my heart feeling so safe and content with him and even my mind cooperating to some degree with my heart was something terrifying me, because being able to trust someone was a luxury I was denied after all torments I endured let alone trusting a stranger.

My trail of thoughts was cut short as I felt myself landing on a very soft and comfortable surface and warmth of his body trying to leave me, that was when I realized that I was, in fact, clutching his shirt in my hands and holding onto him as if my life depended on it. When I finally pried my fists open and he moved a few steps away, I peeled open my eyes slowly and all my fears came true for standing before my eyes was the one person I although somewhere knew inside it would be but was still somehow hoping not to be true. My eyes roamed his whole figure, dressed in a basic black shirt and jeans, barefoot and hairs still damp he was the definition of perfection. The moment my eyes locked with his grey ones and noticing the worry that filled them, I gasped for such raw emotions he displayed and that too someone worrying for me was something I was not familiar with other than my late mother and Katty.

Standing before my eyes was my new boss, Zachary Knight. He has been the reason for me being always distracted and have occupied all my daydreams. I had tried to deny and forget all these but somehow he always found his way back to my mind and now standing before my eyes he was, filling me red with embarrassment for I soon realized that my face felt unusually dry and eyes hurt reminding me I had just had a panic attack in front of him. I felt like a high school girl with crush on one the popular boys, and this terrified me for I knew I could never be good enough with all this baggage I have and even if I was devoid of my past, he was someone who clearly had much better options than me, moreover even with all these weird feelings letting him or anyone else for that matter in and putting myself out there was something I didn’t think I was ready for or could ever be. I may be a coward for this but I could afford to give anyone the opportunity to hurt me again neither physically and mentally nor emotionally.

“Are you alright? Do you need something?” - he cut my thoughts again his eyes and voice softening.

“I uh... No, but what am I doing here?” - I was although hesitant to know the answer but knew it was necessary to understand.

“You don’t remember... I brought you here last night...after the uh ...”

His hesitation confused me for a second but then the events from last night came flooding back to me and as soon as I realized what had actually happened, my panic returned. Maybe he noticed my widening eyes and shortening breath that he was by my side in the blink of an eye.

“Hey hey! look here, focus on me... you are fine, nothing bad happened...everything is fine...” - he said in a very soft voice his hands cradling my face, his voice and presence calming me down again.

That was the moment I realized that for the first time someone had saved me before something bad could happen, before I had to save and this overwhelmed me to the point where I just threw my arms around his neck and crushed him into a hug, clinging to him like a koala muttering thank you again and again. For that moment I forgot that he is to be my boss and I am to be his assistant or rather a personal assistant come next Monday that will be tomorrow.

He was although a bit took aback but still gave in and hugged me equally tight. When I came back to my senses and realized what I had done I jerked back even my neck turning red with blush. What stunned me, even more, was the same reaction from him, seeing him with a pink tint was although amusing but confusing too. Did this mean he felt the same too?...

“Uh...so what actually happened, since you know I fainted.” - I asked him not being able to look into his eyes.

“That scum passed out as soon as fell on the ground when I pulled him off of you, I although wanted to beat him to the pulp but I preferred securing your safety more than that...so, I brought you home and handed him over to the police. ” - he answered, his eyes and expression morphing into those of pure fury seething in anger, his fists clenching and nose flaring. Though he had a guilty and hesitant undertone to his anger too as if he thought I would not appreciate this somehow. But why would He care though, my brain shot back.

“Oh wow!Thank you... I don’t how can I thank you enough for that, what you did was ineffable...I owe you for this...”

“Uh...yeah yeah I’ll cash in this whenever ” - He said with a wink, trying to lighten the mood maybe causing my heart to flutter.

“Umm... I guess I should leave now... I have already overstayed my welcome...” - I said already trying to get up... going away from him was the last thing my heart wanted to do... but my brain was afraid too... afraid of the trust he had already subconsciously gained from me, which was something very much foreign for me now. I may be a coward for thinking running even without trying but neither the odds were in my favor right nor was I sure what he thought or felt. He may be giving signs of feeling the same but that may very well be just sympathy that I am misinterpreting because I somehow I want to. I needed time to think and sort myself out, so much had happened in so less of time, sending my mind and heart into a frenzy.

But apparently He had some other plans for the moment I tried to move from the couch I felt a warm hand on my wrist, holding it gently as if I am porcelaine doll, warmth from his larger palm slipping into me, sending tingles and shivers up my spine and a whole zoo of animals in my stomach...

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