The Psycho's Queen

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โ™› {T W E L V E} โ™›

Do you ever wonder how you get into situations? Whether theyโ€™re good or bad, life or death types or just small ones. Because, I havenโ€™t stopped wondering. I think back and still come up with more wonder. I mean, how does one night turn into this? How does one look, one round of drinks, one smile, one single handsome manโ€”bring me to this? Maybe, maybe I really am crazy. Maybe I did something to anger fate, god, whoever did thisโ€”into putting me into this situation.

I sit in bed 20 plus minutes, after what happened on this very spot, just staring at the ceiling. I still have no solution, just more questions. But I suppose thatโ€™s Normal in the whole world, everyone gets one answer but 5 more questions.

Laughter burst from my slightly opened mouth, and more laughter, โ€œIโ€™m going crazy.โ€

Laughter stops and a whole bunch of emotions flood my whole body, suffocating me. Tears start running down from my eyes and down my neck, quiet sobs leave my mouth this time. So much emotion just running through me like theyโ€™ve been off forever and are just now being let out. Itโ€™s just so, overwhelming. I quickly get off the bed and my eyes roam around the room, searching for it. The answer to make it stop.

I found it, I grab it and go to the bathroom. I go to the mirror and look at how horrifying I am. This is his fault. Tears are still non stop, I put the knife to my neck and put pressure against it. A sob comes out once again and I put my head down before taking a breath and putting it back. Do it, just one slit, one slit and itโ€™s all over. I take another deep breath and start slowly cutting it, not feeling anythingโ€”no emotionโ€”nothing. Itโ€™s all over. I close my eyes and was about to finish myself off until I saw the real answer. The real big reason I havenโ€™t tried every single option. Actually, two big reasons. The two lives I created.

I open my eyes and see the small blood that is sliding down my neck. They need me. My two small worlds. I drop the knife and even though Iโ€™m still facing the mirror Iโ€™m somewhere else, somewhere far away, with my babies.

I hear the door open and close before I hear the deep voice call out, โ€œLuna? You in here?โ€ I grab the knife and all the other emotions coming into one. Anger. I slowly open the door before going to stab him anywhereโ€”Iโ€™m not being picky. Before I get a shot his hand shoots out to my wrists and twists it making hiss in pain, I punch him in the face with my other hand, which by the way was a big mistake because not only does my hand slightly hurt but his face barely moved an inch.

โ€œWeโ€™re doing this again?โ€ He says, slowly turning his head towards me.

I knew him where it hurts and he goes on his knees giving me anotherโ€” painful but strongโ€”advantage to hit him in the face again. I take it, with more force, and see him hold his face and groan. I quickly break the window and go through it. I feel a piece of glass cut my leg, of course cause why would anyone escape out a broken and not get cut so they can run faster huh? I hiss once again but still continue going down the pretty high level window and jump the rest of the way. I groan but quickly try to hide it and continue running. Once I get to the cars I figured luck is never on my side and already start hot wiring it while footsteps quickly approach. Finally getting the car to start, I jump and and crazily start driving out the big ass gates.

Iโ€™m coming, mommyโ€™s coming home babies.

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