If having a broken heart felt like this, I didn’t want a heart at all. It felt like the Hulk’s fist ripped through my chest and was squeezing my fourteen-year-old heart. I was not one for the dramatics, but my best friend Shaina was leaving.
Sure, that sucks, but she was taking with her the love of my life.
Weston, Shania’s big brother, he was how could I put it?
When he walks into a room everyone turns to look at him. He was powerful. He had these amazing eyes, that were a clear ocean blue, they went perfectly with this tan, dark chocolate hair, and full lips.
I’ve been in love with this boy since I could walk. My Mom always said Weston was my motivation for learning how to walk. Apparently, I only wanted him. When he wouldn’t come to me, I learned how to get to him. Thinking back on it I probably annoyed him and my brother Cole so much. I always wanted to follow them around and do everything they did. I couldn’t help it. I’ve always felt this pull to Weston.
Cole and Weston’s friends use to tease me for following them around. Weston would give them a look then and they would shut up. He would always soothe everything over telling me it was ok and he didn’t care if I was there with them. After those little incidents, I felt like he was my protector.
Since I was five I’ve told him I was going to marry him. It’s been stuck in my head ever since.
Shaina much looked the same as her brother, but she had green eyes. She kept her chestnut hair shoulder length and in waves. Shaina and I have been basically best friends since birth. Our parents grew up and went to school together. Shaina was younger than me by a few months. We are complete opposites. Where I’m loud and bold, she’s quiet and reserved. But somehow, we work.
Cole and I were sitting on the rustic wrap around porch of the Troy’s Ranch in the Emory Valley of Wyoming. Their house was one of the few remaining western homes. Its red paint was chipping off the sides of the two-story house but that didn’t take away from the character of the house. I thought it added more. With a wooden swing, and rockers that my mom and Darlene use to rock us on as babies.
We sat watching Shania, and Darlene packs up the rest of the U-Haul. They were moving to Austin, Texas to be closer to her mom’s family after the nasty divorce.
Darlene and Derek’s divorce didn’t come as a surprise. More like a horrible B rated movie in the making. They’ve have been married as long as my parents have. Eighteen years. Those eighteen years wasted because Derek decided to pick up a bottle. A stupid frickin’ bottle, and when he picked up the bottle he was malicious. Lashing out and spewing hateful words. Those hateful words cut deep, leaving ugly scars in their wake.
Dad tried his hardest talking sense into Derek. Warning him, he would lose everything if he continued on this path. He didn’t listen.
Which brought us to today.
Cole wrapped his left around my shoulders when he saw me wiping what I was sure was a waterfall off my blotchy face. The screen door slammed shut behind us, Weston carrying the last box out.
He took off walking down the stairs and threw it into the U-Haul with more force than necessary, pulling down the door to lock it.
Cole stood up forcing me with him, Shania who saw the movement raced to me, standing on the bottom step. We wrap each other in a bear hug. Neither one of us wanting to let go. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Cole, and Weston does one of those manly handshakes.
“Alright girls. Break it up.” Wes said looking back at his mom. “It’s time to go.”
Go? No, it was too soon. Shania’s arms just held on tighter to me. Seeing the movement. Weston walked over to us, signed and pried her off me. That earned him two glares. Which only caused him to smirk. Making my head a little dizzy. God l loved that smirk.
I watch as Shania backed up waving at me, then hopping into the backseat of the truck. On the other side of the truck, my brother was saying his goodbyes to Darlene.
I looked up as Weston cleared his throat.
“Bye Lo.” Weston was the only one who ever called me Lo. I would make sure he would be the only one ever too.
“Bye Wes.” My words were softly spoken.
I reached into my back-left pocket to hand him a picture Darlene took last summer of us. Shania and I were on the tire swing hanging off the old Cottonwood tree in front of their home. Weston was returning from fixing the fence on the other side of the pasture, he was sweaty in his beat-up jeans, with his t-shirt thrown over his shoulder, and work boots. I went running up to him with the biggest smile on my face as we were walking back to the swing Darlene snapped the best picture ever. The way he was looking down at me and I was staring up at him laughing, no telling what he said to make me laugh. Looking at the picture I handed him he said, “Bye Wes? That all you got Lo?” He barely got the Lo out before I tackled him. My arms flew around his waist, my face buried into his chest. His left arm encircles my back, while his right hand went to my hair. His check against my head.
“You can’t leave. We’re supposed to get married.” I joked.
He chuckled. “Guess you’re gonna have to find another cowboy to marry.” Nothing about this was remotely funny. “And besides Lo, you’re like another sister to me. Can’t marry my sister now, can I?”
Do you know how the Hulk was squeezing the crap out of my heart? Well, he ripped it out of my chest, placed it on the floor and started stomping on it.
Ok, so maybe I’m a tad bit dramatic.
“I’m not like your sister!” I said looking up at him, taking a step back still locked in the embrace.
“Logan,” he never said my full name. “I know you have a little crush on me.” Little? I was in love with him! “But you and I both know nothing is going to happen. I’m two years older than you. I don’t want to leave with you upset at me.” His arms started falling away from me.
“Just because I’m fourteen doesn’t mean I don’t know what I feel, and two years is nothin’!” I felt like my voice was rising with every word.
“Lo calm down. I was just pointing out the facts.”
“What facts would that be? You don’t know what I’m feeling. It’s not some schoolgirl crush! I love you! Always have, always will you idiot!”
“So, you love an idiot huh?” He was trying to make a joke out of my feelings, and boy did that hurt. Weston took a step back, he exhaled a heavy breath. “Look I’m sorry, but we really have to go.” He turned around and started for the truck.
Once he’s was in the passenger side seat my brother was back at my side. Darlene started up the truck and took off down the dirt driveway.
“We’re never going to see them, again are we?” I looked at Cole.
A few seconds later we heard a glass bottle being shattered.
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