Autumn's Light

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Ending it

My phone buzzed after dinner as I was washing dishes. I leaned over to see the screen. It was Axel of all people. I leaned over more to read the rest of the message before my screen went black.

‘drive?’

I sighed and dropped the dish in the sink. Hell yes a drive sounded great. I wiped my hands off and replied.

‘Yes’

Ding.

‘On my way’

I smiled and ran up the stairs changing my clothes into jeans, boots and topping a t shirt off with a fo- leather jacket. I was clunking down the stairs when there was a knock at the door. I looked up at my brother’s room which has been shut since dinner. I decided to just text him.

‘I’m going out’

Sending it I opened the door to see Axel’s beautiful face. I swear this boy should be a model with his features. He rose a brow at me.

“No helmet?”

I forgot! I had the helmet from the first time he let me ride with him. I turned around and dashed up the stairs to my room grabbing the helmet from my closet. I met him back at the front door and shut it behind me.

“I can’t believe I forgot I kept this.” As we walked down the path to his bike parked there. I noticed it wasn’t his racing bullet bike, but an actual motorcycle this time. A Harley Davidson actually and it had an extra seat. Thank god.

“I gave it to you for a reason.” He winked at me as he swung his leg over the bike then holding out his hand to me to help me on the back.

Here goes nothing. Again, Axel was my savior to get away from all the drama in my life. I got on and held tight around his chest.

“Hang on sweetheart.”

He started the engine and we drove off. The freedom of this was amazing. He headed straight out of town. When we reached the empty country roads with surrounding fields around us. I let go of his chest and put my arms out again. It felt like flying. I was balancing with my legs squeezing the seat under me. I saw the smirk on Axel’s face from the side. I even let a smile out myself. This was what I needed. To just breathe.

He pulled over at a rest stop. I got off and took off the helmet trying to tame my hair. Axel taking his helmet off and brushing his now sweaty hair back into place. He had a much better time making himself presentable.

He chuckled at me trying to tame the mess of braid that fell everywhere in my face.

“Here.”

He grabbed the helmet from me and laid it on the bike and reached up tucking pieces behind my ear.

“There.”

He smiled at me and I smiled back stepping away from him. The closeness was too much for me. I leaned on a small brick wall there watching some other teenagers swinging on the swings on the playground. It was starting to get dark. Axel grabbed my waist and turned me around to face west. The sun started setting. I leaned on the wall and watched the sky turned bright colors of red and orange. The storm from earlier had made the skies clouds so amazing. I stared in awe at it. Everything I was feeling, the anger, the emotions, they all faded away.

I felt his hands slide around my waist and I took that chance to lean back against him. I could feel him rest his cheek against my head and his chest rise and fall. I glanced down at his arms around me. His tattoos were clearly visible now that his sleeves went up a little bit. I took my hand and rested it on his forearm, tracing one of the patterns with my fingertips. I felt him shudder against me and his gaze turned down to my hand touching him.

“What do they mean?” I asked still tracing one of them.

He lifted his arm and pulled up his sleeve more to show me a design across his whole forearm. He had a compass on one side that combined into a map that also faded into an arrow that went across his wrist. The other side had mountains and trees drawn on it.

“Reminds me of home.”

I turned around in his arms still, he held my lower back now with his hands.

“Home? Isn’t this your home?” I rose an eyebrow at him.

He flashed a smile at me while shaking his head. “My home is Colorado, I had to move here to live with my uncle when my dad went to jail and my mom went into rehab..”

“Axel… I didn’t know.. ”

I turned back round and he pressed me to him again. The sun was now gone. The colors exploding across the sky for the last time.

“It means to roam free but always know your way home.”

I smiled a bit and watched the colors fade from the sky, grabbing onto his arms again.

“Do you miss them?” I whispered out in almost total darkness now.

“No. I don’t.”

I turned around yet again and came face to face with him. His neck was bent down a bit staring at me. He reached up with one hand and tucked that piece of hair behind my ear again.

“Why did you agree to come with me?”

His hand lingered touching my jawline.

I needed to be honest with him. “You’re my only escape from the mess around me right now.”

He smirked at me, lightly grabbing behind my neck now.

“That all?”

I couldn’t lie. I was having butterflies in my stomach. I was trying to keep my breathing under control. My feelings for Hendrix were still there, he was and maybe still was my everything but right now he fucked up. He made a huge mistake. We were over with. I wasn’t his anymore. I was free to do whatever I wanted.. But I still felt like I shouldn’t be doing this. But screw it. I needed to forget.

He leaned down in a second when I didn’t answer and our lips met. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he lifted me up by my legs and onto the wall I was just leaning on. His kiss was more passionate, more intense. My body heat went sky rocketing up. His hands found my waist and he kept them there, then rubbing to my back. My hands were playing with his hair to match. I couldn’t take it. The kissing kept getting deeper and more intense. I stopped and pulled back trying to catch my breath.

“Axel..”

His lips met mine again and the kissing game continued. Thankfully my phone rang and I broke apart from him. I went and unzipped my jacket pocket and took out my phone to see my brother’s name on it.

“Hello?”

“Where in the hell are you!”

“I went on a ride..”

“WITH WHO?!”

“Axel..”

“AUTUMN GREENE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!”

I held the phone away from my ear making a face, which clearly amused Axel because he chuckled a little bit starting to play with my hair again.

“Bryce stop. I’m perfectly fine.”

Axel took the phone from me at that point and I could hear Bryce yelling something to me again.

“She’s taken care of. Don’t worry.” He hung up the phone and he went and kissed me again. This guy was driving me crazy. I let him before I pulled back.

“Axel you can’t just hang up on my brother, he’s relentless.. and not a good way to get on his good side.”

“Who said I wasn’t on his good side?” He went and kissed my neck which sent shivers down my spine.

“Axel stop, Come on.” I pushed him away from me and the pout that appeared on his lips was enough to make me want to pull him in again, but I resisted.

“Fine. I’ll take you back, come on sunshine” He handed me my phone which I put back in the safe pocket and we walked to the bike.

I didn’t know what to call this maybe a rebound? My adventuring before figuring out my life? My mid life crisis? Who knows! All I knew is life was an asshole, so why the hell play by the rules.

I put the helmet on at the same time Axel did. I climbed behind him and he started the engine.

“Make sure those hands stay in a safe place or I might be tempted to pull over again.” He smirked at me.

I snickered a little bit and grabbed the same position on his chest I held before.

We took off down the road again. I felt my body become more and more tired as we went. I didn’t even realize we went about an hour away. When we finally pulled into town we slowed down to a stop at a light.

“You realize my brother will be waiting up?”

Axel chuckled a bit.

“He doesn’t scare me sunshine.”

I smiled a little bit. Everyone was scared of my brother. This was a new one for me.

We pulled in front of my house and came to a stop. I noticed figures moving on the porch. I swung my leg around to the ground quickly and took off my helmet.

“You better get out of here.” I whispered to him with a smirk.

“Till next time sunshine.” He winked at me and took off down the street.

I stood there staring after him. When hands grabbed my shoulders turning me around quickly and awkwardly.

“The next time you want to go running away with Axel Lyon you better know how badly your ruining your reputation.”

Bryce was screaming at me now, gripping my shoulders.

“Good god dude, chill out.” I pushed his hands off my shoulders and walked towards the house only to be met by Ryder and Wynn standing there. I stopped in my tracks. Was this an intervention or something? Ryder’s face looked like a hurt puppy dog. My heart kind of dropped at that point. I sighed and turned around to face Bryce.

“Look. I needed to get away. Get away from this shit of a life I have. Dad’s in the hospital. My boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend yet again I might add and my brother seems to worked up in his own issues than to talk to his own sister who wants nothing more than to not be here anymore!”

I pushed past the boys and into the house, slamming the door behind me. Up to my room slamming that as well and locking the door. I collapsed in my bed tears streaming down my face.

I hated this. I hated who I am becoming. Life keeps dealing me a bad hand and I just keep playing into it. I told myself no jocks, then I fall for one and he does the exact same shit I had to deal with before. I told myself to keep my distance from girls. Again, my best friend betrays me. I told myself to look after my dad and he was in the hospital now. I told myself, that I should’ve died that night Jared attacked me. Fate screwed up..

I was crying into my pillow now. I heard banging on my door over and over again. I couldn’t do this anymore. I stood up and went to my bathroom and shut the door, forgetting to lock it. I opened the cabinet above the sink and took out my pain killers from when I was healing from the stab wound.

The banging continued on my door till it finally stopped. I sighed and opened the bottle. If I took enough, it would just be over. No one would have to worry about me anymore. Bryce wouldn’t have the guilt on his heart. My dad could recover and have a football star as a son. Hendrix could be with Harley and well, I could be with Sam..

Tears built up in my eyes as I slid the pills into my hands. I grabbed a cup and filled it with water. I took one deep breath before I took 5 of them at once. The dosage was one every 12 hours. This was double the amount. I sat the glass back on the table and laid against the tub. I just had to wait now. Just wait.

My body started getting cold and my phone was buzzing like crazy in my pocket. I still had not taken it out. My heart rate increased to a rapid pace. They were working. My eyes started to glaze over and I started to not feel anything anymore. My body was in hyper drive yet I was getting extremely tired. My lungs felt like fire.

The last thing I heard was my door being broken down and my brother screaming when I blacked out.

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