I sat in silence as my dad watched over Bryce in his room. Ryder was doing trips back and forth with what my dad needed or something he asked for. He kept trying to check on me but I wasn’t talking so he kept himself busy. The knock at the door jumped me from my daze. I went over from the family room couch. I opened the door to find Mr. Hawkins(Talon), Ryder’s step dad.
“Autumn dear.” He stepped in and patted my shoulder. “It will be okay. Where is he?”
I pointed up the stairs and Mr. Hawkins went up without me, shutting the bedroom door behind him. I assumed either my dad or Ryder called him up to make sure he was okay without having to be on record at a hospital. Adrian came over when she heard the news and held me in her arms on the couch for a long time. Our silent friendship was what I needed right now. She was the one person that was not involved in this drama and didn't ask questions.
Why didn’t I recognize the signs? Why didn’t I notice my own brother slowly falling apart?
Oh, that’s right he was busy bringing me back together. Watching over me constantly. He was so worried about me and our dad that the pressure probably got to him. I made him go insane by attempting to leave him and this world. I broke him apart that he probably felt he wasn’t good enough for me to want to stay. That my family meant nothing to me. I did this to him. I was no one’s angel, I was a fucking devil. Causing issue after issue. Harley was right, I did screw up everything.
I was selfish and reckless. Only focusing on what I’ve lost. What I was going through. What boy loved me and which one didn’t. My past wasn’t any clearer. Bryce lost his best friend the same day he almost lost me. Plus, he lost Sam too. She was like another little sister to him that annoyed the hell out of him. I can’t believe I never thought about him. The pain he went through and is currently still going through. I’m a horrible sister. I had to make up everything to him. Why is it you never realize how much you have till its ripped from you?
I went back out to the porch to sit after Adrian left. My thoughts were interrupted by footsteps. I looked up to see Harley standing there. What the actual hell? I stood up quickly in a territorial stance.
“What do you want?” I made those words come out like poison. She’s the last person I want to see right now.
“Please Autumn, I need to talk to you..” She looked upset and broke down. She was actually not put together like she normally is.
“It's called a phone Harley, but whatever. Make it quick, I don’t have time for this.” I walked over to the railing and leaned on it. She shifted in her stance.
“I know who gave Bryce the drugs..” She spat out staring at her feet.
I blinked. “Who?” She was going to tell me, or I would force it out of her if she didn’t.
“Well, that’s complicated to say exactly who..”
I rose a brow. “You just said-“ I wasn’t playing game with her.
“I know. But urghh..” She slammed against the railing with her body. “I was stupid. I was jealous. I was angry. I was blind.” She turned to face me. “Can you forgive me?”
I was still raising my brow at her. “Harley..”
“Right I know, the answer.” She placed her hand on her forehead, rubbing her face. “You know that kid Blake? The one Ayla and Axel hang with?”
“He’s dealing. He’s been giving it to everyone. Evie’s been in it too. That’s how Bryce got it today. Evie gave it to Maverick and he gave it to Bryce after practice today. I don’t know why or what went down. But I found out everything when I got off practice.”
That little fucker. I pulled out my phone and texted Ax.
‘I have info, get over here asap.’
I looked up to Harley. “For your sake, I hope this is the truth. I’m not fucking around Harley. This is my brother someone messed with and took advantage of and I’m not going to let said person get away with it.”
She nodded at me. “I know and that’s why I told you. I’m sorry Autumn. I was using too..” She had tears in her eyes. “I was using that night with Hendrix. I was using every day since..”
“Using what?” I could find out what was going around our school.
“At first it was just weed and then I went harder and harder to try to erase my feelings. Meth was my choice after a while. It gave me endless energy.”
Come to think of it, looking at her now she has lost a ton of weight and her face looked different. “My god Harley.. Why?”
She shrugged. “Why did you try to kill yourself? It’s all a cluster fuck of stupid decisions.”
She had me there.
“Har, is it just Evie and Blake involved?”
She blinked away her tears. “No, Hendrix is too. But I can’t understand how. He uses but hates drugs. He’s the mayor’s son. The same mayor that is fighting the drug crime in this place and he’s in on it.” She shrugged. “I don’t understand him. I know he isn’t dealing, just using.”
I nodded. Thank god. For some reason my heart couldn’t take it if he was the center of this disaster.
“So, your clean now?”
“I’m trying to be. It’s really hard but, Hazel’s been helping me. I can’t even imagine telling my parents..”
Ax’s motorcycle started coming down the street. You could hear it for miles.
“You can do it Har. Life is fucked up. But if I could make it through the shit I did, so can you.”
She nodded and half smiled at me. “Sorry for being such a bitch.”
I rolled my eyes at her. “You’re still on my shit list.”
She snickered a bit and turned on her heels to walk down the front steps. “Thanks Ott.”
I nodded and saw Axel walking up the driveway, passing Harley who shot me a weird look towards him and then me. I waved her off and it looked like she completely forgot what she was confused about.
He came right to my side and leaned on the railing. “What did she have to say?”
“Ax. You’re not going to like this..” I put my hand on his, that was resting on the railing. “It’s Blake.”
He was staring at me for a moment then looked into the distance with a scowl on his face. He then slammed his fist against the railing. The one that wasn’t below my hand.
He walked away from me and put his hands in his hair in frustration. “Right under my nose the entire fucking time and I didn’t see it. How did I not see it?! I was around him all the time. I had so many chances to see this happen.”
I walked up to him and placed my hand on his back. “Ax, don’t beat yourself up. I didn’t see half the shit happening around me..”
He turned to face me. “No offense sunshine but I’m sure blind people see more than you do.”
I crossed my arms at him in a glare. That was rude. But sadly, accurate.
“I was trained to see people. I was trained for all this. I missed it. I missed everything.”
I could see the look of frustration all over his face. It wasn’t his fault. People can be good liars and actors these days.
“Look.” I grabbed his hand and bent it, so his elbow bent and held it next to my chest. “Now you know. You can go save this damn city and be done with this drama.”
In my head I was screaming. I didn’t want to see him leave. I didn’t want to say goodbye. Wait a minute?! Why was I saying this? I had the most perfect guy upstairs sitting next to my brother. How fucked up was I feeling this right now?
“I won’t be done with the drama sunshine.” He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. “That’s my job, remember?” He smirked at me.
The front door came open and my dad’s shadow came walking out to us. “Axel, any news?”
He completely ignored me standing there too. “Yep. Autumn here just found out our mole.”
My dad’s eyes shot to me. “We better get going.” Axel nodded and followed him to the police issued SUV my dad drove and got in the driver’s side. My dad couldn’t drive because of his arm. They took off without another word. Man, cops had a weird silent language they spoke I swear.
I walked into the house and up to Bryce’s room. Mr. Hawkins was next to him checking on his vitals and then leaning back in his chair. Ryder was sitting against Bryce’s closet wall staring off in the distance. Probably deep in thought like I was. I’m sure he felt some guilt as well.
“How’s he doing?”
My presence made them jump and Mr. Hawkins looked to me with a smile. “He’s going to be fine.”
I looked to my brother’s figure laying there, helpless. This wasn’t going to be an easy night.