Fifteen: Prince Charming
How is it that people can affect your thoughts even if you try your best not to let them? I have refused to let Jenna get to me and now she has, but what she’s telling me isn’t wrong and that’s what frustrates me more. I want to prove her wrong but Violet isn’t answering my messages which is making me feel worse about this.
As the work day comes to an end I still have no messages and no plans to meet with Violet, instead I plan to brood over my computer and try to find some trace of Jade having been in Violet’s life.
I know that Jade didn’t have her family around her, but she was the most genuine and trusting person I have ever met in my life, that had to of come from somewhere. Another reason why I’ve been so willing to trust Violet, she felt like home when home had been lost for me. She made me feel like I have a person to rely on again.
I’ve been seeing Jade in her, but maybe I’ve been wrong to assume they’re similar when they really are polar opposites.
When I make my way to the parking lot, I run into Mason who conveniently parked his car next to mine. Sometimes the guy can clingy but I know he means well.
“Tommy, about what Jenna did earlier. I’m really sorry, I talked her down I hope she doesn’t bother you about Violet anymore,” He begins and as I unlock my car, he continues, “You know how she gets, but she only cares about your wellbeing. She’s protective.”
I glance over at my brother with raised eyebrows, “I don’t need a protector. And if I did, it wouldn’t be a scrawny girl.”
“She doesn’t fight with her fist, she fights with her heart. It may seem annoying now but you have no idea how lucky you are to have someone care so deeply about you even when you’re a jerk most of the time,” Mason smiles at me and I feel like I’ve come a long way.
Five years ago I would have knocked him a food one for calling me a jerk, but he’s right. Even when I was a terrible friend to Jenna she came back to take care of me through everything. When I didn’t deserve her or Mason they were still there. That has to count for something.
“I appreciate her, Mase. I do... But I’m happy and it’s a really shitty feeling when someone is trying to find things to ruin it,” I try my best to explain in a simple way, ignoring the anger that my words bring me. I just need Mason to understand why Jenna angers me by doing what she does. Protective or not.
“I know you see it as her trying to find things but she sees it as making sure you don’t get hurt. Can you try to see where she’s coming from? You should know that Jenna would never hurt you and she doesn’t want anyone else to either,” I understand Mason perfectly, I know Jenna’s intentions and I’m angry that I’m allowing myself to get angry with her for caring about me.
I often let my emotions get the best of me but I know that Jenna means well, and I think Jade would be happy to know that someone is taking care of me since she no longer can. I’m a pathetic grown ass man who needs to be taken care of because without the guidance of someone, I’m reckless and can barely stand on my own two feet.
I nod my head after Mason finishes his attempt to justify Jenna’s actions, “I get it... I’ll talk to Jenna when I see her next, but I do want to look into what she said.”
“Yeah... What she said is right. I haven’t seen a photo of Violet and Jade together... I’ve seen no connections to Jade’s family,” I make myself feel completely down by mentioning this. I feel like I’m betraying Violet but I also become afraid of what the underlying reason could be.
Mason sighs heavily and shrugs his shoulders, “Regardless what Jenna says, don’t assume that Violet is this bad person without giving her a chance to explain herself. She deserves that, everyone does. Don’t you think?”
She does. I care about her enough to give her that chance, she brought me out of a slump and there’s no way I’m going to just assume the worst of her because of some social media page. The fact that Mason saw that before I did causes me to feel only more disappointed in myself.
“Fuck you for being right,” I joke, giving my brother a slap on the shoulder, “I’ll let you know how it goes. I’m gonna surprise Violet at her apartment and maybe get some answers.”
Deciding to surprise Violet probably wasn’t the best idea since she wasn’t responding to any of my messages, but sometimes face to face interactions are better than messaging one another. Maybe it would be easier for her to talk to me that way.
What surprised me the most is my arrival to Violet’s apartment, there’s music playing that is clearly coming from her unit but if she’s home why haven’t she reached out to me? I remind myself to stay positive as I knock on her door, blocking the peep hole with my thumb so she can’t avoid me.
I hear footsteps but then they stop. There’s a moment of hesitation before I hear the lock on the door and finally Violet cracks it open, still having the chain locked to keep a small distance.
“Thomas?” She seems puzzled, “I didn’t know it was you, for all I know a serial killer could have been at the door.”
“You think someone wants to kill you?” I asked, sounding skeptical, “You really are a strange one, Violet Cooper.”
She giggles and my worries seem to fade beneath the surface, one small reaction, a little giggle from this gorgeous girl and suddenly life doesn’t seem so bad anymore, “Not everyone needs a motive.”
She closes the door and I hear her unlocking the chain. A moment later she re-opens the door, stepping aside for me to walk in. As I walk inside her small apartment, I turn to look at her and offer a small smile, “I missed you today... You weren’t answering my texts, and I don’t mean to be this guy, Violet. I don’t want to be the paranoid guy who gets nervous when his girlfriend doesn’t answer, I’m trying really hard to give my all to you. I will, it just takes time to open up fully and be carefree.”
Violet closes the door and when she turns to face me, she folds her arms over her chest and stares at me with a concerned look in her eyes, “Thomas, my phone is fried. I messaged you earlier online to tell you that it fell out of my pocket when I was walking to work. Of course with my luck it fell right into a puddle and died almost right away. But I would never ignore you...”
“You haven’t messaged me,” I respond, taking out my phone and looking at my messenger. My last message from Violet is a smiley face.
I show her and she seems legitimately confused, walking to her laptop and pulling up her messenger, “Unbelievable...”
I walk over to where she stands in front of her laptop, glancing at the screen and seeing a pending message to me: “My phone is completely fried. Long story but I have no way to text you. Contact me here if you wanna chat :)”
I furrow my eyebrows, seeing the troubleshoot listed as ”No internet connection available.”
“My internet company must have cut me off,” She says, embarrassment clear in her tone. I feel terrible for many reasons, one being that Violet is having trouble paying bills and the bigger reason is that I assumed the worst in her when she have never given me a reason not to trust her.
I run my fingers through my dark hair, shaking my head to keep myself from apologizing to her aloud. She has no idea but I’ve been a terrible boyfriend today by not trusting her or thinking the worst, “Do you owe money? Tell me how much.”
“I’m a few months behind... It’s only about twelve hundred dollars but usually they give me a warning at least,” He stress is obvious and I take out my phone to log into my online banking account.
“What’s your email? I’ll transfer you the cost so you can get this paid... And what about other bills? Electricity? Rent? How are you doing with all of that?”
Violet’s eyebrows furrow in confusion and she reacts my shaking her head no, “My god, Thomas. No... I’m not taking your money. This is my responsibility. I can pay my own bills.”
Obviously you can’t, I think. I can’t say that to her, though.
“Let me help you, if you’re so worried about taking money just keep in mind that I might need a favor from you later in life,” I tell her with a generous smile. She gives me a skeptical look and I tilt her chin upwards to me, “Either you tell me your email or I’ll go to your landlord and pay your rent for the next year. It’s your call, babe.”
“How do you swoop in a just fix everything?” Violet asks me, “My life is a complete mess, but here you are being prince charming on your god damn white horse. You act like it’s nothing for you to just give me money, Thomas. I don’t deserve that, I should be able to stand on my own two feet.”
The last thing I want is for Violet to think that I’m giving her money for the wrong reasons. I want to help her and if I have the power to do so, I will, regardless of the costs. It isn’t sympathy money, it isn’t my way of showing off; I care deeply for her and if I can show that in anyway and keep her from being miserable or homeless, I will.
“Although I am known for being a prince charming, I only want to be your prince charming,” I tell her, giving a small smile in attempt to make her feel comfortable, “Don’t be afraid to ask for help, Vi. I’m here for you and I will do whatever I can for you, okay?”
She pauses, not responding right away but eventually she nods her head and forces a little smile. I can see that she’s unwilling but much like myself, I think that she just isn’t familiar with someone being there for her and caring. I went through a lot of my life feeling like I was not good enough but somewhere between my teen years and now, I’ve learned that it was far from the truth. Although my relationship with my dad was never perfect, I still had people in my life that loved me more than one person could possibly love.
I see that similarity in Violet and I’m determined to let her know that there are people in her life that care for her too. I wasn’t alone and neither is she.