Begin Again

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Thirty-Three: Maybe

My phone rings. And rings. And rings. After the forth ring I manage to jump from my sleep and search my messy bed for where I had put it last night. I find it underneath my pillow and instantly see a photo of Mason with his name lit up on the screen.

I answer his call in a sleepy tone but my morning voice is deeper and raspy, “Hey man.”

“Hey,” He responds, he doesn’t sound tired but then again it’s lunch time and most people are awake by now, “Sorry I didn’t call you yesterday, it’s been busy. Was your birthday good?”

“Eh, it was another day,” I tell him, sitting up and rubbing my face to try and wake up more, “How are things going in the city?”

“Fine... Lonely,” His voice drifts off and there’s silence for a moment before he speaks again, “Look, I know that Jenna told you what’s going on, what she told you is true and I don’t want to be that guy who leaves someone because they don’t want kids, but this is something I always thought that I would have, I had just gotten to the point where I thought it would happen with Jenna.”

“So what’s your plan, Mase? You gonna stay with Jenna and not have kids, or are you gonna leave her and try to find someone you love enough to want to build the life you planned with Jenna?” I ask him, I’m genuine. I just want to know his thought process but he doesn’t seem to have one. He’s confused and distraught, I can tell by the sound in hos voice that he has no idea where he’s going from here.

Mason sighs heavily and I can hear him tapping his fingers on the surface of something in the background, “I don’t know, Tommy. I’m trying to figure out what I want in my life more, Jenna or a future with kids. I don’t know what it is at this point.”

I can’t say much because I’m not in this situation h e’s in, all I can do is give him my opinion and see what he decides in the end, “You do what you think is best for you. But I can tell you this much, maybe one day Jenna will change her mind about having kids. Maybe. But the moment she decides to stop trying with you, you won’t get to change your mind and she will be gone. Just let that soak in for a while.”

It seems like Mason and I have nothing more to say to each other and we say goodbye before hanging up less than a minute after my final comment. This is my first time having spoken to Mason since he and Jenna ended things. I was able to hear his side and understand his conflicts with the situation, but there isn’t anything I can do to help them. This is their relationship and something they would need to resolve on their own.

I’m living my life and I can’t get involved in anyone else’s drama.

I don’t head downstairs until close to 2pm, when I get there Maks and Jenna are in the kitchen, eating at the island counter. They both turn to look at me when they hear my footsteps.

Maks gives me a little nod, “He’s alive.”

“Barely,” I chuckle, not feeling in the mood for anything today. If anything, I would just want to lay in bed and wait for tomorrow to come, but that’s an overly dramatic thought that I let pass.

“Want some waffles? We have original and blueberry,” Jenna says before shoving a large piece of waffle in her mouth and downing it with a glass of orange juice.

I shake my head, “Nah, I was actually going to head to the store and get some advil. Mind if I take your jeep, Maks?”

“Have at er, buddy.” He takes his keys from his pocket and tosses them in my direction, as I catch them swiftly he continues, “Grab a pack of smokes and some condoms for me.”

“Condoms? Who are you fucking?” I ask as I grab my jacket that’s hanging on the back of a chair, unsure why Maks needs condoms when the only girl here is Jenna.

He looks at me as if I asked a stupid question, “I plan on picking up some girls on the beach while I’m here. Better safe than sorry.”

I roll my eyes and glance towards Jenna, “Do you want anything?”

“I’ll tag along, if that’s okay? I might grab some snacks,” Jenna stands from her chair, quickly finishing off her drink and heading towards the front door, “You coming, Maksy?”

“Nope. I’m gonna head to the beach and get a start on finding a girl for the night.”

Some things never change. Both Maks and I had been like this in high school, and even a while after. I, however, grew out of it, Maks hasn’t.

Jenna and I get into the jeep and when I start the ignition I pull out of the driveway, checking behind me in the mirror. I see that Jenna is keeping a look out of the window and I turn on the radio to break the silence.

“Did you sleep okay?” I ask.

She simply nods, “Yeah. The bed is comfortable and I kept my window jarred so I could hear the ocean. It’s relaxing.”

“Good thinking,” I smile a little, deciding to shift the conversation, “I was talking with Mason this morning.”

“No, Thomas.” Jenna stops me from saying anything more, “I don’t want to talk about Mason, okay? It brings me down and I just want to be happy for a few days, okay? No Mason talk.”

I inhale deeply before nodding in response, “Understood.”

“Lets talk about your life, huh? I know Violet was intimidated by Ella, so did she have a reason to be?” Her question surprises me and now that she switched the attention on me, I’m not interested in the slightest.

“No. My focus was her and only her,” I answer without taking my eyes off of the road, “Ella surprised me, okay? She was this fat kid from high school and showed up looking like a fucking model. Was I intrigued? Yes. But... No, I would never had cheated on Violet and her distrust in me only made it fucking worse when she ended up being the liar.”

“I mean, okay, but that wasn’t my question,” Jenna narrows her eyes at me, “Let me be more specific, is there an attraction to Ella?”

“Obviously I think she’s gorgeous, but looking and touching are to very different things. It’s like if you went to see Avengers and looked at Captain America, nothing wrong with that. But once you touch...”

“Oh god, Thomas. Don’t bring Chris Evans into this.”

“I’m just saying,” I turning into the parking lot of the store and park the car before turning and looking at Jenna, “When I’m with someone, I am one hundred percent. Jennifer-Fucking-Lopez could walk in and I would still be faithful because no other girl could have my attention when I’m committed to someone else. That’s the point, Jen. That’s what matters.”

She nods her head and when she speaks her voice comes out in a very soft tone, “You’re right.”

Luckily the conversation doesn’t go back to our messed up past relationships. We make a brief trip to the grocery store and in less than thirty minutes we’re back at the beach house. The advil I purchased has seemed to make me feel a little better and I think about joining Maks out at the beach.

He had mentioned there’s a beach bar where he was going to check out to see if there were any girls and get some drinks, having a more sociable party than the pitiful one we had last night. Although my relationship with Violet was brief, I had put more feelings into it than I’m willing to admit which is why I’ve decided to resort to the same antics from when I was in high school.

To get over a girl, you fuck someone else. I need to cleanse myself of Violet in ever sense of the word which is why I’m joining Maks on this outing to find a girl that’ll help get Violet off of my mind.

“I’m gonna go freshen up and join Maks,” I say to Jenna, heading towards the stairs.

Her voice stops me, “Do I really need to spend the day watching you both pick up girls? I thought this was supposed to be a friends trip.”

When I look at her, she’s clearly disappointed and I don’t want to abandon her when she came here with me and has been so comforting, “You can pick up some dude, too. I can be your wing man, you can be my wing woman. We’re both single so lets have fun.”

“I don’t know if it’s a guy thing, or just a Thomas and Maks thing, but I have no intentions on ridding myself of my past relationship by sleeping with a stranger,” She tells me, folding her arms over her chest and passing me to walk up the stairs, “I’m going to grab a book and relax on the beach.”

“You know, it’s more helpful than it sounds,” I argue, following her up the stairs and stopping when we reach the top, “I’m not gonna leave you to sulk on your own, okay? If you want to relax on the beach, we’ll relax on the beach.”

Jenna turns to face me and sighs softly, “I’m not going to ruin your trip because I’m not into the same things that you are.”

“You’re not ruining my trip. The reason my trip is so good is because you’re here,” I smile at her, resting my arm around her shoulders and guiding her towards my room, “Help me choose a good shirt to go with my red swim trunks, okay? Then we’ll head to the beach.”

“Thomas, you don’t have to do this for me.”

“Nah, not just for you. You’re probably saving me from making a mistake anyway,” I admit and open the closet door where I’ve hung the few shirts I brought with me, “Red and red, or white and red?”

“No brainer, red shorts and white shirt,” She answers, walking to the closet and taking out my white shirt, “And white is your color anyway, so that’s a plus.”

I give her a smirk, “I have a color? Well, damn.”

Jenna rolls her eyes and shoves the shirt against my chest, “Get dressed, pretty boy.”

Chuckling, I walk towards my bed and take my shirt off, quickly replacing it with the fresh white shirt that Jenna picked out. I open the dresser and grab the swim trunks I had been planning to wear, “I’m gonna go to the bathroom, do you need to get ready?”

She shakes her head, “Nope. I’m good to go when you’re ready.” She looks over her shoulder and smiles at me before her attention turns elsewhere, “Allison has great style sense for shoes. I need to ask her where she got these!”

She’s holding a black high heel, then sits on the floor to try it on. I roll my eyes and walk out of the room, what is it with women and shoes? The way I see it, three pairs are plenty. Casual sneakers, winter-wear, and a nice event shoe. Women, however, feel like they need hundreds.

Jade was never like that, she had more than three pairs but not a closet full like Allison does, or Jenna. Even my mom has hundreds of shoes and I’ve only seen her wear the same ones over and over.

It’s pointless and a waste of money.

When I get to the bathroom, I quickly change into my swim trunks so I can spend the day on the beach with Jenna. Sitting around isn’t necessarily my idea of fun, but sometimes in friendship you need to make sacrifice.

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