A/n: I am so sorry for the time it took for an update. Believe it or not I am actually a full time nurse and life has been a little busy as of lately. But I have a few days off so I will keep the chapters coming!!!
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"You wanna talk about it?" Her soft hand reached over to my knee, bringing my heart to a shuttering stop. How was I supposed to talk about what happened tonight? How was I supposed to tell her the truth?
"Talk about what?" It was the only response that I could come up with. To keep playing drunkenly dumb despite the fact that I wasn't nearly as intoxicated as she thought I was.
"What happened tonight?"
"Adrian. Talk to me. I know something clearly happened tonight."
She wasn't wrong but I needed time to process what to tell her. She couldn't know the truth. The truth would kill her.
A comfortable silence fell in the car as she took her hand off of my thigh to brace it back on the steering wheel. I could see her face contort in the corner of my eye as she bit her inner cheek trying to hold her anger back. I don't blame her. She hated it when she was left out, when she knew someone was lying to her. I needed to tell her something, anything from tonight. But once again, part of me wanted to keep her out of all of this.
I kept my eyes out the side window watching the world go by. My elbow bracing itself on the door, my head propped up on my hand. I could see the city start to fade in the background of the side mirror as the country side slowly engulfed the pathway to home. How she knew where she was going astonished me. This was the first time she has driven in months and yet took every turn with confidence. She was more observant than I gave her credit for.
Silence still built a wall between the two of us. It wasn't until I could see home in the distance that the comfortable silence grew into tension causing my heart rate to speed up. Her face grew angry, flushed with red bottling all of her emotions in. Her knuckles clenched the wheel causing them to turn white from lack of blood flow. Her anger only worsened as we drove up the winding driveway.
She parked the car in front of the garage, slamming it into park. A heavy sigh escaped her lips as her head hung low in between her two arms still clutching onto the wheel.
"You know after everything I've done for this family. After all this time. After thinking I found a place where I belonged. And you still can't tell me the damn truth. I think I deserve more than your damn silence Adrian."
"No, don't even start. Don't start with the Bella shit. Don't start with the lies because I know that's the only thing that's going to come out of your mouth right now." She looked over to me, her eyes burning a hole into my heart as her angered eyes began to well with tears.
Before I could say another word she got out of the car slamming the door behind her. I quickly did the same attempting to run after her but stumbled on the way from the alcohol still running in my veins.
As she began to put in the passcode to the house I finally caught up to her grabbing her by the arm lightly pulling her to face towards me.
"Adrian, I said don't."
"Bella would you listen to me for five seconds. Please just let me talk."
"I don't want to hear it. Let me go Adrian." She gritted her teeth towards me. So I did as she wished, I let go of her arm. As soon as I let her go, her eyes still boring into me, she opened the front door stepping inside not bothering to close the door behind her knowing I was just going to follow her in.
"Addi, please wait." She had begun to go up the stairs to her room her pace quickening in attempt to put as much space between us never turning around to take a second look back.
I followed behind matching her pace. In a huff she pushed her bedroom door open and then slamming it behind her to keep me out. My hand caught the edge of the door before it could latch separating her from I. I gently pushed her door back open and preceded to step into her room, closing the door softly behind me.
"Addi, Bella..." She stood in the middle of the room, one hand on her hip and the other pressed against her forehead. Her back was faced towards me. But that didn't mean I couldn't feel every emotion she was trying to process fly towards me with force. I didn't even need her to turn around for me to know exactly what look she had on her face. I knew her all too well.
"I thought I was part of this family." her voice whispered. I could practically hear the tears hitting her cheeks as her hand that had been pressed to her forehead dropped to her side.
"Bella, you are." She turned around to face me. Her face littered with tears.
"Then why don't you treat me like it. Leaving me behind, keeping me from the truth, keeping me in the dark. Trying to tell me nothing happened, when an hour ago I was elbow deep inside of your brother trying to save his life. I'm not dumb Adrian. I may be naive to your world but I am anything but stupid."
"You don't think I want to tell you everything Addi? To come home to you and explain to you in detail how my day was, the shit I had to deal with. Because every ounce of me wants that. Don't you think part of me wants you by my side every second of the day? To have you be apart of this world, the shit show of a life I live. Because I know if you were by my side for every part of each day my life would be a million times easier, better. But I know better."
"You know better?"
"Yes, I know better. This life I live would destroy you. Destroy every good part of you. I know you Addi. You're meant to fix people, save people, not hurt them, not kill them. Every piece of you is good Addi. And I don't want to lose that you. But if I come home and tell you everything I've done, every person I've killed that day or tortured you'll want to be part of this life to protect me, to be with me to make sure no harm happens to me. I was dragged into this world by force by my father. And I will be damn if you get dragged into this life too. I want to keep you as far away from that life as I possible can."
"Adrian, how do you not see that I'm already fucking involved? I was involved from the minute I saw you. From the minute I said I loved you. Fuck, I was involved the minute I clocked in for work that night months ago. You didn't drag me into this. Dominic did. If you're in this, I'm in this. I am not this sweet little innocent girl who sobbed on your shoulder as you carried me from that hell downstairs. I am not the girl who let anyone push her around, abuse her, rape her, use her. I've grown into someone stronger because of you. And fuck if I will let anyone, and I mean anyone, take this life away from me. Loving you and this family wasn't a god damn choice but making sure no one takes that away from me is. And I would choose to be involved every goddamn time despite what you want for me."
"Addi...." She held her hand up in the air cutting me off.
"No, Adrian I'm not fucking done. I am so fucking in love with you it scares the living shit out of me. I love this family, this messed up life. But to know you're out there doing god knows what, with god knows who fucking scares me. To know I'm not there in case shit happens and you get hurt, fucking scares me. I don't care how hard you try to keep me out of this, I'm in."
My eyebrow raised in her direction. I had never been more attracted to her than I was now. Hearing her say that. Part of me wanted the little innocent girl I rescued back but the other part of me was so fucking in love with the woman she was transforming into I couldn't help but smirk.
She stood there a few feet away from me. Her face void of any emotion but letting me know she was serious. In one second the tension in the air lifted as she breathed a heavy sigh and looked up to the ceiling holding back tears. She was my weakness. She always would be.
"Come here." I motioned her to come to me.
"Why?" Her eyes dropped back down to focus on my face. Her hand raising to her cheek wiping the tears away.
"Because if I'm going to be the one to cause your tears I should be the one that wipes them away." Her face softened but she didn't budge from her place. "Fine, if you won't come here I'll just come to you." I started taking small steps towards her not wanting to scare her away. She stayed in her place letting me come to her.
I was inches away from her, the tears still streaming down her face. Her eyes bounced back and forth on my face not knowing which part she wanted to focus on first. My hands lifted to meet her face, gently placing the palms of my hands on her cheeks, the pads of my thumbs rubbing the wet streaks from under her eyes.
"You know I'm just trying to protect you. Never in my life did I imagine a time that I would feel like this about someone." My voice whispered to her.
"Bella, I have never felt fear before until you came into my life. And now I know what it feels like the be afraid to lose someone. Terrified that I'm going to wake up and you'll be gone. So fucking in love with someone, you. If I lose you Addi Elizabeth, it will break me. Do you understand me?"
Her eyes sparkled back towards me as her face tilted just slightly to look up to me. A small nod came from her signalling she understood.
"You want to be apart of this life, okay. But under my terms. Because I need to know you're safe at all times. I can't function properly if I know you're in danger. And that does none of us any good."
"Okay." her small voice whispered as the corner of her lip rose letting me know that deal was satisfactory for now.
"Okay." I pulled her into my chest, despite the fact that she was still covered in Alex's blood. My arm wrapped around her back while the other held the back of her head. My lips fell to meet the part of her hair showering her with kisses. Her arms snaked through under my arms holding my shoulder blades.
We just stood there like that for minutes remembering what it felt like to have each other in an embrace. The world melting away from reality. Until her little voice spoke up into the fabric of my shirt.
"Will you please tell me what happened?"
I pulled away from her small frame to look down at her. Her pupils were dilated, the skin around her eyes red from crying. She almost looked like she was pouting, pleading me to tell her the truth of tonight. In that instance I couldn't say no to her. But she still didn't need to know the whole truth.
I let out one more sigh as grabbed her hand to lead her over to the couch that sat in front of the fireplace. I grabbed her shoulders, sitting her down on the cushion as I took my own spot on the ottman.
"We've been following him for months, learning his every move. We knew where he was going to be tonight. But he knew we were tailing him. He trapped us. We thought we took out all of his men, but he had guys waiting as backup. They tried to take Alex, I shot Dominic, they shot Alex. That was it. We booked it out of there as fast as we could."
"That's all that happened?"
"Yes" I lied.
"That can't be all." She crosses her arms over her chest as her eyebrow raised in my direction. She wasn't going to give in to my simplicity. Like she said, she may have been naive to our world, but she was far from stupid.
"Yes Bella. It was that simple."
"So you shot Dominic?"
"Yes baby." I grabbed on to her face once more. "You don't have to worry about him anymore, okay?"
"Okay" She spoke to me with a slight tinge of attitude, not fully believing my words. I didn't blame her. But my words were enough for the time being.
"How about you go get cleaned up and we go to bed baby?" I looked over her shirt, still littered with blood that she seemingly forgot was there. Her sight followed mine, looking down at her body remembering what she had done a few hours prior.
"Yeah, ah probably a good idea. I kind of forgot about all of this." I giggled slightly thinking it was odd for someone to forget that they were covered in blood. But it never seemed to phase her. I
stood to begin to walk out of her room to get ready for bed in my own room when she grabbed onto my hand clutching it with hers. "Adrian, will you stay with me tonight again? I don't want to be apart from you anymore"
My feet traveled a few steps backwards so I could stand directly in front of her. My towering body stood over her small frame still sitting on the couch. Placing a small kiss on her forehead I whispered to her, "Always Bella. Always."