A/N: chapter contains mature topic and language. Discretion is advised.
I didn’t even know how to wrap my head around what I was witnessing. She was like a completely different person. Her voice wasn’t soft. Her eyebrows were pushed together making the small creases on her forehead raise. The way she carried herself, carried her posture seeped with confidence and strength. Aspects I didn’t even know she truly possessed.
She would take occasional glimpses at me over her shoulder almost as if she were asking permission to keep going. She read my body language all too well. Just like I could do with hers now. She never once tensed up. Never once flinched at any of the words he spit out at her with rage. He was attempting to not let her get under his skin, but her flat yet slightly authoritative demeanor proved that to not be the case.
He silently fought against the chains that bound him to the chair releasing minute clanks ringing through the air. She was so focused on his face and his words she never took a step back to observe him, his own body language.
The further the conversation progressed the harder he fought against the metal causing a ribbon of red around his wrists. The words he spit towards her had no effect. Until pushing her was the only option he had left. Pushing her to the point where she would want to prove a point, perhaps put him out of his misery. There was one thing he was right about, she didn’t have what it would take to get what we needed from him. But I knew she wasn’t going to stop until she satisfied her curiosity.
I dragged myself out of my thoughts to catch the very end of his taunting to her. “You’re more dumb than I originally thought.”
Nothing good was going to come from the words that just escaped her mouth. I saw her stand straight clutching the knife in her fingers; her knuckles turning white. My arms dropped down from my side, my foot planting itself firmly on the ground from its previous position on the wall. I had seconds to react calling out her name, trying to pull her from her trance. Every move she made appeared to me in slow motion. The words out of my mouth became fuzzy, hoarse. Until in one rapid second, my voice boomed through the room and time speed into overdrive attempting to catch up on lost seconds.
It was like a burning fire engulfed her body. Before I could even take a step towards her, the knife found its way into his thigh. His agonized screams echoed off the cinderblock walls filling the previous eerily quiet room. Soon his screams turned into grunts and curses as she twisted the blade of the knife deeper, turning it to cause even more pain than could have been imaginable.
My teeth gritted. I could feel my eyes begin to squint, my eyebrows furrow with infuriaiton. Not towards her, although a part of me was irritated with her behavior as well. But rather with him. The vilification spewing from his mouth at her. If she wasnt handle herself well, a little too well, I would have punched him in that very mouth to make him shut the fuck up. But she managed to do that all on her own.
With a force I never anticipated her hand enclosed on the handle of the knife once more and extracted the blood littered blade. A gush of scarlet red poured onto the floor. Franco bit his bottom lip, squeezing his eyes as tightly as he could, either holding in more screams or curses or trying to bare with the pain she just caused him. It was like nothing to her. She tossed the knife aside in the cabinet and began to walk to the stairwell.
It was a rare site to see from her. Her head was held high with confidence I had never seen ooze from every pore. Her shoulders pinned back forcing her body to stand erect. She forced her hips to sway side to side more than they already did accentuating every goddamn curve her body held. Her head was tilted down every so slightly. Fire burned behind her eyes. Those damn lips of hers were slightly parted, just barely.
One eyebrow raised towards as she neared me. Not asking for permission. Not asking how she did. No. Telling me with one look that she knew very fucking well what she had done was effective. Telling me to stay the hell out of her way. The life she had before this no longer restrained her. It too flickered away with the embers burned behind her eyes and she was about to scatter the ashes over the vibrant flames of the new life she was creating for herself. She was warning me, threatening me with one look that she’d ignite whatever she had to, whomever she had to, to accomplish the revenge that she craved. And this was just her first taste.
She paused if only for a second facing towards the stairs. Her head shifted the smallest inch towards me, but still remained forward. Her eyes glanced at me from the corners drilling in her point before turning her line of vision back to the stairwell.
I stood there in the darkness watching this fucking angel shaking her ass from side to side striding into the light and never once looking back. Never once flinching, never once losing her composure.
Goddamn this woman will be the fucking death of me.
I turned to lock the door, forcing Franco to return to the empty nothingness of his own thoughts. I stopped myself before completely locking him in pushing the door open a few extra inches.
“You know Franco. If I were you, I’d cooperate. It’s only going to get worse.” Nothing. There was nothing in return, just the outline of a man sitting in the middle of a room, bound and the surrounding darkness. Nothing but the click of the doorknob pulling into place with the frame and the deadbolt shifting with the twist of a key.
Scalding hot water rushed over my hands spilling into the sink. The once clear water swirled around the metal drain turning into a faint pink color after brushing over my skin. It wasn’t the first time I had blood splattered across my hands. But this time felt different. I caused it this time and not a single cell in my body regretted it.
I don’t even know how I managed to get blood on me. It wasn’t much and unless someone were to look closely they would have never seen it. Little dots sprinkled over the back of my hands in an irregular pattern. The tips of my nails turned from white to red.
At any other point in my life, what I had just done would have made my stomach churn. It would have made me retch every guilty feeling out of my body as my mind twisted and turned thinking of ways to make the situation better. But now as I lifted my head up to look at myself in the mirror I saw someone new. Strong. Courageous. I was no longer a pushover. I was confident. And I was going to burn every single person who did me wrong.
I heard him come into my room, stopping dead in his tracks, square in the middle of my room. I quickly dried my hands and pushed a few strands of hair behind my ear bracing myself for the argument I knew was inevitable between him and I.
I pulled the bathroom door open. There he was. His back facing me. His head hung low. His hand bracing his forehead like he was getting a migraine. Which after dealing with me he probably was. The palm of his free hand pushing against his side where his hip met his torso. I pushed the door shut quietly, trying to soften the click of the latch. I leaned my back gently against the door, my hands behind my back, my palms resting against the smooth wooden surface of the door. I waited. Waited for whatever disappointed words he was about to spit out at me. Waited for the scolding I knew would come. Waited for him to keep me locked up in this room once more, away from his world.
His voice was low when he first spoke. It made me cringe. I fully expected him to raise his voice at me and when he didn’t it almost startled me more.
“You can’t ever fucking listen can you?” I remained silent. I knew he wasn’t done. I knew there was going to be more. It was something I was used to from my past. I knew better than to open my mouth. So I bit my tongue waiting for whatever punishment I was about to receive.
He turned his body to face me, dropping his hand from his forehead to his side. His eyes staring right through me. “When I give you a goddamn order, I expect you to fucking follow it. Out of anyone, I didn’t expect you to be this fucking disobedient. And fucking multiple time in one goddamn day? The the fuck has gotten into you?”
There was a pause in his voice as a sigh escaped his parted lips. I kept my eyes towards the ground but from the corner of my eyes I could see him make small steps towards me. In a matter of seconds his body had become inches from mine. His chest practically on mine, forcing me to hold my breath otherwise each inhale would have caused my body to brush against his. His arms lifted to the surface behind me, trapping me between them. My heart rate began to race. I couldn’t swallow hard enough. I kept my head down in submission.
“I don’t know if I should be fucking pissed off at you, or rip your damn clothes off after what you just pulled.” I was taken aback for a second after the words left his mouth.
“W-what?” My eyes raised to meet his.
“You fucking heard me.” A slight smile curved the corner of his lip upward. “I have never once been so goddamn happy that someone disobeyed me. Franco’s fucking face. It was priceless.”
“So y-you’re not mad?”
“Oh no I am. I’m livid with you. But I have also never been so goddamn fucking turned on in my life. What you just did… part of me wants to ream you a fucking new one hoping you’ll learn just from that. But… Fuck. Part of me wants to fuck you into submission; teach you what your consequences will be for fucking disobeying me, remind you who’s in charge.”
It was like a weight had lifted off my chest and the person I was downstairs just minutes ago rushed back to life. My hands unraveled from behind my back, my palms finding his chest. My fingers fiddled with the buttons of his shirt near the collar, slowly undoing each one. In a hushed voice I finally responded, “Than do it.”
He didn’t need anymore permission than that. His lips dove into my neck. His fingers brushed against my skin as he tore my white jacket off dropping it to the ground, leaving me in just my camisole. His moves were aggressive, like he couldn’t contain his need for me any longer. My eyes closed, soaking in every bit of pleasure my cells felt. I tilted my head back against the wall as a moan escaped my lips. His lips walked along the bottom of my jaw slowly trailing themselves up to my lips. A low growl vibrated from his throat as the corner of his cheek twitches like he wanted to devour every inch of me. His lips and his tongue didn’t need to beg against mine for them to part, my body was his and he knew it. He took what he wanted.
The pads of his fingers found the bottom of my shirt lifting it above my head, taking a moment to pull his lips from mine to rest his eyes against my almost bare body. My scars didn’t bother me anymore, not since the last time him and I were intimate. He was right, my scars were my story, my past, my life and there was no need to be ashamed in them any longer. He loved me with them, just like I knew he would have loved me without them.
He threw my shirt to the ground, and let his lips dive back onto mine closing the space between us. The palm of his hand brushed against the skin of my arm moving upward until he reached my chest, pushing my backward against the door. His fingers trailed up to my neck just below my jaw turning my head to the side opening my body up to him. His kisses weren’t passionate as he trailed them down my neck just above my clavicle. No, they were rough, dominating. I was pinned against the wall under his fingers as he pressed them into my skin around my neck making me feel like I had no escape. It didn’t matter if I had changed, if I had grown as a person. My past traumas still took hold of me forcing flashbacks through my mind of every time I had been raped, used and beaten. Memories of Daniel pinning me to the ground, memories of Franco pinning me down on the cot. Both taking what they wanted from my body without my consent.
I inhaled quickly attempting to calm myself down and push the thoughts from my mind but my breath hitched and my body unknowingly tensed under his touch. He immediately stopped, dropping his hand to his side. I knew I was never going to get over this fear if we didn’t continue now. I wanted to give this to him. I wanted to give myself to him.
“D-don’t stop. Please.” My voice was hushed coming out barely audible. I didn’t realize that I was shaking.
“Bella, no. Don’t…” another sigh left his mouth like he was trying to think about what to say. His harsh face turned soft. “You’re still not ready.”
“Damn it Adrian, I’m never going to be ready.” The tears started dripping from my eyes creating streams down my cheeks. I was frustrated. My mind wanted one thing but my body wanted another. I felt stuck and out of my own control.
“This has never been a pleasurable experience for you, has it?”
I shook my head slightly from side to side. “Only the one time with you before.” My eyes fell to the ground feeling ashamed for reasons I didn’t know or understand.
“Baby, look at me.” His touch was light this time gripping his first finger and thumb under my chin pulling my face to meet his. “Why did you tell me to do it, if you aren’t ready?”
“I am ready. I’ve been ready. There’s nothing I want more than to give myself to you. But I can’t control what my body does, especially when you’re rough and aggressive. I keep pushing everything to the back of my mind but you trying to dominate me only brought flashbacks of… them. No matter how hard I try to keep them away my body just wants to relive the torture.” Heavy tears poured out as I tried to look back down to the ground pushing my chin against his hand.
“Baby. Hey. Look at me.” I hesitated for a second but brought my eyes back up to his. They were soft, caring. It was a dramatic difference than minutes earlier when he was talking about fucking me into submission. His hands cupped my face running his thumb over my cheeks wiping away the river under my eyes.
When my cheeks had been dried, his eyes glanced down at my lips and never left that spot. His hand positioned itself under my chin once more. The pad of his thumb ran across my bottom lip like he was trying to memorize the feeling; like he was trying to study each crease they held. My eyes closed against his touch, my lips parted for only a second before I felt his lip press against mine. I could feel the weight of his forehead pushing against my own.
The world fell away from my mind and my body. At that moment it was just him and I. My home.
My heart fluttered against the wall of my chest as our lips connect sharing the dominance. I parted my lips for only a second, pulling away from him. His hand moved from my face to the back of my neck. I could feel the pressure of the palm of his hand as he drew my face near his again, not wanting there to be any distance left between us. His nose was nuzzled next to mine as our lips moved rhythmically; our tongues dancing around each other.
I placed my hands on his chest gripping onto his shirt, never wanting to let go. He didn’t need to say anything. The first kiss was more than enough. But this… this created a wave of electricity that lit up every nerve my body held. I could feel my body flush with heat. I didn’t want any of this to ever end. But I detached my lips from his one last time. My forehead remaining intact with his. I kept my eyes closed as I spoke.
“This. I want this. Don’t stop. Just-just take it slow with me. Ease me into it like you did last time.” It was like he couldn’t wait for me to finish my sentence. He pressed his lips back onto mine with a force I didn’t expect. They felt like they belonged there and belonged with each other and every minute apart caused the passion to wilt away.
His kisses were slow before but after giving him permission to keep going his hunger for my body grew, causing the pace of his lips to quicken. My hands walked themselves up from his chest to wrap around his neck. His hands positioned themselves on the small of my back for only a second pushing my body closer to his. He wanted me to feel every inch of him, every damn inch. I could feel his back round down towards the ground matching my short stature. His lips stayed connected with mine but in one swift motion his hands grabbed onto my thighs lifting my body into the air causing a startle squeal to come from my mouth. His lips turned into a smile through his kiss as he let out a small laugh at my shocked noise. Out of instinct my legs crossed around his back holding on for dear life, attempting to not fall- not that his muscles weren’t worthy enough to keep me elevated off the ground.
I could feel air pass by my body as he took slow steps making his way over to the bed. My eyes stayed closed, my lips attached to his; never wanting to let go. He sat me down gently on the edge of the bed and pulled away taking a few steps backwards.
No no no. Come back.
I could feel myself pout at losing his warmth around my body. His once cold eyes minutes ago stared into me filled with passion, romance and an overwhelming amount of love. He kicked off his shoes while his hands simultaneously worked the buttons of his shirt from their slits. When all the buttons were free from their respective enclosure he pulled the shirt from his pants and pulled it off leaving it in a pile on the floor. He never stopped staring at me until he looked down for only a second to undo his belt from the notches.
I could watch this all day.
His pecs twitched with every minor move he made. The veins that ran down his biceps pulsated as his heart rate increased. I could barely function thinking about his body. My mind seemed to cease function staring at the v-line just below his waist line. My hands had the urge to reach out to touch every rippling ab muscle his stomach held. I wanted to be the one taking his pants off instead of being the bystander watching him do it himself.
He unraveled the belt from its loops tossing that to the ground by his shirt. His fingers fiddled with the button of his pants when he finally did something other than kissing me with his mouth.
“Are you sure?” He quickly unzipped his pants. I simply nodded my head yes as my bottom lip found its way between my teeth. I was going to cause it to bleed if I kept biting as hard as I was. But it was the only way to keep myself from standing up and making him mine completely.
I wanted this, so damn much. I wanted him. I wanted him to take the one thing no one else had ever gotten from me. My consent, my body, my emotions, my love. I wanted him to have it all. I wanted him to have all of me. I wanted to experience this with him, and only him.
He placed his hands into the waistband of his pants pushing them towards the floor exposing himself in his boxers. I could see everything his pants had been hiding so flawlessly. There was no way to hide just how much he wanted this now. I found myself releasing my lip from my teeth in order to swallow to keep myself from drooling over every cell of his body. I felt my eyes widen thinking about how that was supposed to fit inside of me.
My stomach flipped as he neared me practically all but naked. His body hovered over mine as his lips crashed into mine again forcing my eyes shut. The way he kissed me was full of passion but with hidden strength just below the surface causing me to start to lean back until my body lay gently on the mattress. His lips removed themselves from the hunger of mine as his body stood erect, towering over mine.
“Can I?” He pointed to my jeans. I bit my lip again holding back a moan thinking about everything he was going to do to me once my pants had come off. Nonetheless I nodded my head yes with a small smile with the rest of lips that weren’t clamped down by my teeth.
He moved swiftly, unbuttoning and unzipping them in one motion. His hands clasped to the waist band as his eyes looked at me questioning with one glance ‘are you sure?’. I didn’t stop him. I didn’t want to stop him. I wanted to keep going just at this pace.
Slowly he inched off my jeans, leaving me exposed in my set of lacy white underwear and bra. He stood there for a second taking the sight in as I propped myself up on my elbows beckoning for him to come to me with my eyes. Before I even knew that he had moved, his arms became entangled in mine lifting me off the bed a few inches and dropping me down abruptly once he was satisfied with my position higher up towards the headboard. My mouth reacted before I could control it letting out a small giggle as I laid my head back down onto the comforter.
“That. That’s what I want to see. You giggling.” His nose was touching mine as he held his body above my own. The words came out in a whisper. His lips were in a full smile, something I hadn’t seen since the last time we were intimate. It made my heart melt. At least it did until he opened his mouth again. “Or you moaning. I’ll take either.” As if it was an instinct my hand raised from the bed to playfully slap his arm as I let out another faint giggle. “What? I’m just being honest!” That he was. And I knew he wasn’t wrong. I knew in a few short minutes my lips would be parted as my back arched letting out whispers of moans.
He closed the small distance there was between us, pressing his lips lightly to mine. But I didn’t want light. I wanted to feel every ounce of his love for me. Like he was reading my mind he pressed down harder, occasionally biting my lip between his teeth softly. I couldn’t help as my head tilted back and a tiny moan climbed off my tongue.
My new position granted him the access that he so desperately wanted, trailing kisses down my jawline to my ear and down my neck. I could tell he hesitated at my clavicle wanting to go further but not knowing if he had permission to do so. He kept his position crouched over me but tilted his head up to see me pouting that he had stopped. I wanted him to keep going.
“If the memories begin to pass through your mind again, just look at me. Open your eyes and look at me. Remember who you’re with. Remember who I am Addi. Remember how I feel about you.” I hadn’t even had that thought since the initial ones flooded my mind. It was kind of hard to think like that when I had the man I did half naked and savoring every square inch of my body. Those memories weren’t going to come back. Not with the passion and the lust that oozed from every cell in his body. I felt loved. I felt safe.
I could feel his hand shift behind my back grabbing for my bra with one hand. He twisted it ever so slightly causing the hooks to spring free from each other. I lifted my arms up slightly, allowing him to gingerly pull off my bra. His eyes widened seeing my body at his disposal. There only remained one piece of fabric on my body that stood in the way between him and I completely.
With a primal growl releasing from his throat and a- from what I heard- a ‘jesus fuck’ escape his tongue, his mouth planted once more on my skin inching down to my breast. Every small kiss he planted caused the every hair on my body to rise. My mind went blank with pleasure. I couldn’t think. But as naive as I was, I thought this was the best it was going to feel. Until his mouth encircled my nipple, sucking ever so slightly, raking his teeth over my tender skin.
“Fuckkkkkk.” the words left my mouth before I could stop them. At this point, I wasn’t even sure I wanted to stop them. But that wasn’t enough for him.
His hand briskly took the place of his mouth, pinching my nipple between his fingers, rolling it back and forth. I could feel him planting small kisses on my rib cage, trailing down the midline of my stomach. My eyes continued to roll into the back of my head. Everything should have been dark, but all I could see was bursts of light mixed with hazy images behind my eyelids of everything he was doing to me, and would do to me. My back arched further the closer he got to the elastic band holding my panties in place until finally his teeth raked against my skin pulling my panties between his teeth to tug them off.
“Holy shit…” He knelt down at the edge of the bed. His tough hands lightly stroking my legs until he reached my knees. The pads of his fingers pressed into my skin pulling apart my legs from one another. Once they had become separated, his hands brushed under my legs, grabbing ahold of my hips and tugging my core closer to the edge of the bed forcing a moan to slip off my tongue.
“Baby, I haven’t even done anything yet.” His eyes were full of mischief, and his lips turned up into a devilish smirk.
I could feel him tracing circles with his tongue on my inner thigh taking his time as he indulged on my skin forcing me to succumb to every moan, every shiver of pleasure he was causing. Not once did I think about them. Not once did memories flow through my mind. Because this time, every second, every moment was different. There was no force. Adrian wanted this to be pleasurable for me. He wanted me to feel safe, secure, to know what it felt like to be with someone who loved me wholeheartedly. There was no doubt in my mind that he was my happy ending. The person I wanted to spend forever with.
My heart fluttered thinking about it, thinking about our future together; having so many more moments like these. My mind swirled in so many blissful hopes and dreams I lost track of what he was doing. Until his lips lightly brushed against the spot where my thigh connected to my core. He was inches away from my being and continued to get closer. My breath hitched. My mouth parted. My moans were no longer subtle as the moistness of his tongue hit my clit causing my to throw my head back and scream from every ounce of pleasure it caused.
My back arched to the point where it could no longer bend any further. My head thrashed from side to side as my teeth bared against each other holding back the screams that developed in my throat. One hand clutched onto the comforter, practically tearing a hole in it. While the other found his head combing my fingers through his hair forcing his head to stay just where I wanted it. I didn’t think that it could possibly feel any better, until his fingers simultaneously began teasing my entrance while his tongue flicked away at my clit. My hips grinded against him, forcing his pace to quicken the closer I got. But in one swift motion he pulled back, wiping his mouth with his hand, a huge grin resting on his face.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“Baby you think I’m going to let you cum already?” He stood up, letting out a small chuckle knowing he was torturing me. “Scoot back towards the head of the bed baby.” His voice was low, raspy. His hands pushed the only remaining fabric between the two of us down around his ankles springing his member free. He wanted this, just as much as I did. That much was obvious.
He hastily kicked his boxers to the side and climbed onto the bed, holding his member between his hand. I kept my legs parted but my finger found its way to my mouth as a nervous habit, biting on my nail. I didn’t know what this was supposed to feel like and honestly it scared the living shit out of me.
He positioned himself above me, propping himself over my body with his one remaining arm. He planted a small kiss on my lips but pulled back slightly to speak. “You’re cum is meant for my cock and my cock only. Understand?” I nodded yes slightly looking up at him in wonder. “Are you nervous?”
“Yes.” The word didn’t want to come out as anything audible. Instead it came out less than a hushed whisper but he still understood.
“I’m not them. Don’t forget that. Remember how much I love you.”
“Show me. Show me what it’s like to be loved. Make love to me Adrian.” It came out as almost a plea, begging him to make me his wholey. I wanted him to have this part of me, a part no one else would ever have.
His lips crashed onto mine as he positioned himself just outside my center rubbing his manhood up and down my fold. All I felt was a slight bit of pressure soon after, but it forced a moan out of my mouth nonetheless. He pulled his lips away from mine to look at me, propping himself up on his knuckles. My core tightened around his length. Each thrust was slow as he inched his cock into me further with each thrust. And with the growing depth of his member in me, my moans became louder turning into screams.
His pace quicken slightly once I had become entirely comfortable with him inside me. My head tilted back once more opening my neck to him. He removed one of his hands from the mattress, brushing a few strands away from my forehead before pulling my neck up towards his face. His thumb padded over my cheek as he attempted to place his lips on mine. My moans could no longer be contained by his lips on mine. My hands grabbed hold of his bicep, clawing at my impending orgams.
“A-a-adrian. Oh god. Don’t- fuck- don’t… stop. P-p-p FUCK. please, don’t st-” His pace stayed steady as my body clenched around him. He lowered my head back down to its arched, resting position. His hand pounded back down on the bed as small moans and grunts passed through his clenched teeth. Drops of sweat dripped from his body making him look like he was glistening. He placed his forehead against mine own, the rate of his breath increasing. My nails etched onto the surface of his skin the closer I became. “A-fuck. Ba-baby. Adrian. Please- I’m…” I couldn’t even manage to get the words out as my back arched pressing my chest against his, letting out a scream of pleasure I didn’t know was possible. He continued to thrust into me as I rode the waves of my orgasm out, pulsating and convulsing on his member.
The last wave of my orgasm hadn’t hit yet, my pleasure still causing my mind to go blank as his moans became louder. As my center clenched around him I could feel his member pulsate back. Every vein in his neck seemed to bulge at once while his teeth gritted and he hushed his own primal growl from his throat. The momentum of his thrust slowed down to small movements. My body was hot to the touch but I could still feel the warmth of his release inside me.
He didn’t pull his cock out from me once he was done. Instead he stayed inside riding his own wave of pleasure down. His lips planted themselves on mine once more but this time it wasn’t feverish and passionate. The kiss was sweet, and light. His hands brushed through my hair as he slowly withdrew himself from me. He moved his body to the side of me, holding his head up by his elbow and his hand. His free hand continued to comb through my hair making me feel more drowsy than I had already become.
I quickly turned on my side to face him and nuzzled my naked body against his. Faint kisses touched my hairline as he laid his head down next to mine, clutching me in his embrace. His heartbeat was still rapid but seemed to match mine as they slowed down with our breaths. My eyes fluttered closed dragging me into the impending darkness of sleep.
“I love you Adrian.”
“I love you too, Bella.