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Not again

I was going to fucking murder Luke.

I dialled an uber and went straight to his house, banging on the door. I didn't give a shit if his parents were in or not, I wanted to kill that piece of shit. He opened the door lazily, his eyes lighting up when he saw me. I pushed him hard in the chest, causing him to fall back slightly as his expression changed to that of anger.

'What the fuck?' He cried as I pushed him again, anger brimming in my veins so much I was shaking, Tears fell down my face as I pointed at him, my finger close to his face.

'You fucking bastard. You told Cal.' I spat, as he folded his arms in front of him.

'Yes, I did. Because I'm worried about you.' He was calm now, the anger gone from his face.

'Worried about me? If you were worried about me you wouldn't have told Cal I had been with you when he had been out of town for one day!' I screeched, aware I sounded like a crazy person. I wanted to punch the smirk from his face as he gazed at me with a look of pity on his face.


'Don't fucking call me babe.' I snapped.

'Ok. Gretchen, you need to understand something. I care about you, alot. Its his fault that you were in that situation. He deserves to be fucking told.'

He stepped closer to me as I moved backwards, holding up my hand in a way of warning him not to come any closer.

'You also need to ask yourself, why you were with me the day after he left town.'

I blinked rapidly, his words causing me to feel sick. He thought I was in love with him still. This was too much, the man was clearly insane. His blue eyes burned into mine as I struggled to speak, suddenly very aware that whatever I said made no difference, he wouldn't listen.

'I'm leaving.' I turned on my heel and strode towards the door as he suddenly grabbed me, pressing his mouth to mine. He pushed his tongue into my mouth as I tried to push him away, anger giving me strength I didn't know I had.

'How fucking dare you!' I pushed him away as he pulled me back towards him, his arms holding me tightly.

'Do you know what, maybe I'm done with fucking asking.'

I frowned as he kissed me again, pushing me against the wall as his hands roamed over my body. I brought my knee up to his crotch, hard. He doubled over in pain as I pushed past him, running out of the door. I felt like I couldn't breathe as I ran down the street, terrified he was going to chase me. I didn't look back as I ran, streets whizzing past me, adrenaline keeping me going. I slowed after a while, a stitch crippling my stomach as I pulled my phone out and dialled an uber.

I couldn't believe what Luke had just done. I couldn't believe I let myself fall for his shit, and I could see how he had gotten progressively worse as he grew older. My stomach turned as I remembered his hands all over my body, and I closed my eyes. I just wanted Cal. I dialled his number only to hear the voicemail and I began to cry. I knew he would be beyond angry, and I had the fear in my stomach that he would just not come back for me.

He'd done it before, he could do it again.

I kept checking the road, making sure I couldn't see Luke. Eventually my cab arrived and I climbed in, slamming the door shut with relief as I gave my address. I tried Cal again, and sent him a text.

I know you are mad, but please call me. x

The cab reached my house and I slid out, tiredness weighing me down suddenly. I made my inside, and made a beeline for my bedroom. My head hurt from thinking, and my heart hurt from loving. I needed Cal. I cradled my phone as I fell asleep, waiting to hear it ring or beep with every fibre of my being.

I woke later, the room now dark. Something had woken me up, but I couldn't figure out what. I grabbed my phone as I sat up, to see no missed calls or texts. It was 1am.


Came a voice from the corner of my room, and I shrieked, jumping from my bed as I made a run for the door. I felt arms around me as I recognised the scent, my heart jumping from my chest.

'Cal?' I moaned as I felt fresh tears begin to fall down my face.

'Jesus baby, calm down. Where's the fucking light switch.' He mumbled as I flicked it on, revealing his intense green gaze, his eyes filled with concern.

''I'm so sorry Cal.' I cried as he held me, his hands in my hair as he kissed my head softly. I buried my face in his chest as I inhaled his scent, masculine and strong.

'Do you still have feelings for him Gretchen?'

I pulled away and met his eyes as I shook my head wildly.

'Absolutely not. I just wanted to make things right, and instead it went very fucking wrong.'

He frowned as he watched me, his hands pulling me away from him slightly.

'What happened?' He demanded, his voice dangerously low.

I swallowed, my mouth suddenly very dry. I couldn't tell him. I knew for a fact he would probably kill Luke, and I didn't want to carry the guilt around with me forever. Instead I just explained that I felt terrible for betraying him, and that I thought he wouldn't come back. That much was true, I just left out the fact Luke tried to sexually assault me.

'I could never, ever leave you. You really need to appreciate the fact that I fucking love you, Gretchen, so much.'

I never grew tired of hearing him say that to me, but tonight it seemed to hold more meaning. I wasn't sure why, maybe it was something to do with the fact I felt I had nearly lost him again, but something felt different. He wiped my tears away with his thumb before kissing me softly on the lips, a smile breaking out on my face as he did. He had the ability to remove any stress from me just by being in the room, his very presence calmed me. I climbed into bed and threw back the covers for him to join me as I yawned, feeling deliriously happy that he was back where he belonged- with me. I lifted up so he could slide his arm beneath me, pulling me close to his now bare chest as he sighed contentedly.

'I'm so glad you weren't gone long. I genuinely hate sleeping without you.' I mumbled sleepily as he ran his fingers up and down my arm, the comfort it gave making my eyes close with delight.

'I'm sorry I had to go. But I'm back now. We'll talk more tomorrow, ok?'

I nodded as sleep took hold of me, my body racked with fatigue and emotion. In the arms of Cal I slept deeply, unaware that for a majority of the evening he laid awake.

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