"Amaya, I know that we went down a rocky ass path," he starts while holding me to his chest for a hug I melt into. "We've had some pretty great times along with some that break my heart to think about." My head starts to hang before he's lifting my face to him, those glistening green eyes boring into my soul.
"Don't look away from me, baby," he whispers out before lightly kissing me. "I told you before and I'll say it again, I'd never change our past. Things happened how they were meant to happen and you've got to believe that too, because if you don't, well it's only going to hurt more."
I nod in agreement.
"I want you to tell me everything going on in your head right now," he requests while placing his hands on my hips.
"I think I like that answer." I'm sure he does. "You want to tell elaborate though, I like to hear you talk about me." I chuckle before lightly shoving him away. "What? It's the truth."
"I swear you still question why it's you and I swear to all hell, every single day of my life I'm going to make sure you know why I want you." He leans down to nuzzle his face in the crook of my neck. "I get that it scares you, it scares me too, being in love that is."
"Why does it scare you?"
"You're one of the only people that can really hurt me, Amaya. There's no way for me to give up on this and sometimes I wonder if I'm enough for you and Aaron," he discloses before I find myself twisting around to look at him as if he's grown another head. He doesn't think he's enough for us? That's absurd.
"You're more than enough, Shawn."
"Am I though, I mean, it feels like I can't do anything right half of the time and then the other day when-"
"-you got high?" I finish the thought for him, wondering if that's where he's going with this.
"Yeah, that." His gaze is so damn intense that I swear it takes my breath away. "That wasn't one of my best moments."
"You've never done anything like that before and it scared me. I don't know why, but it did," I admit while moving to take his face between my hands. "Was it because of me?"
Shawn doesn't say a word, which gives me my answer.
"Don't apologize. It was my choice to get high, I just- God, sitting in the spot where we used to ditch classes alone, it was enough to make me start feeling a lot of shit... it felt like the better option not to feel that pain. I get that it was a stupid choice and I'm so thankful that you were there to help me with it." I lean forward, resting our foreheads against each other.
"I'm always going to help you, whether I'm ready to strangle you, or want nothing more than to hold you for dear-life."
"Come on, Amaya, you couldn't let me have this," he whimpers out, "I'm supposed to be the one saying all the romantic comments and all that tonight."
"That's literally all that comes from your mouth."
"Oh hush up, now I've got to one-up you," he says before getting down on one knee with that smile I first fell in love for on the day we met, remembering the way his smile seems to light up the world even when it seems engulfed in nothing but darkness. He's my safe-haven even when we're arguing.
"Amaya Santana Wolff, you are my Wonder Woman that has managed to give me more purpose than you could even comprehend. You love me even when I feel unlovable because I swear to all hell I get those days too where I know you're so goddamn out of my league.
"When I see other guys staring at you I can't even begin to tell you how much anger fills me. Nobody is ever going to know the feeling of getting to be loved by you, held by you, wrapped up by your body in the middle of the night whenever you get cold and want to snuggle." His hand grasps my own before he places a kiss on the back.
"You are my goddess and I want to prove that to you in everything that I do no matter if there are days when we're screaming our heads off at each other. There's bound to be arguments and I'm warning you that I might say some really dumb shit sometimes, not all the time, but that's not going to change my love for you.
"I'm so damn happy that I've had these fourteen amazing years with you, some of them with us being in a relationship along with you also being my best friend. I'm thankful for you giving me children to love. I'm thankful for you giving me a chance, and more importantly, you make me feel wanted." I can tell my eyes are starting to water but I let them, if I cry, I cry, I'll blame the shit on hormones or something like that.
"I love you, baby, more than anything. Please allow me to spend the rest of my life with you by letting me marry you." His voice is so light and airy, enough to make me tug him up so he's standing right in front of me.
I don't say a word before pulling him in for a kiss, my tears finally streaming down my cheeks, and this time, it has nothing to do with heartbreak. These tears are tears of joy, and something tells me I'm not going to be crying tears of heartbreak for a long time.
That's book 2, but I do plan on having extra chapters and another book for the series that has to do with Shawn and Amaya's twins. Thank you for reading and let me know if you liked it.