The First and Last Part
Snow was still falling from the sky with thick clumps of white, any visibility to the wonder of the outside world was cut off from the actions of the snowfall. My breath fogged up the windowpanes; my mother had said quite strictly that I was not allowed to leave the building, she knew it was to cold for such a young woman to venture across the freezing tundra.
I had been planning the perfect gift for him but he had already left for California before the snow had even been seen on the horizon.
Breathing quietly I stood leaning against the wall, wishing to see out of the window as I wiped away a tear that dared to trickle down my fair cheek. The scarf I had knitted him was collecting dust upstairs in the closet as I sat downstairs fingering a piece of paper in between my fingers. With teary eyes I read through his letter once more.
My lovely Alexa, I am sorry I won’t be able to come home for Christmas day. There have been so many complications.
I am so sorry. I wanted to be with you so much, you have no idea how much I miss you. It’s so weird that sometimes at night I hear your voice and feel the ghost of your touch, it’s funny how being away from someone for so long can affect you.
Since I cannot be there let me just tell you why I feel the way I do:
Why Do I Love You? Here are ten reasons:
1. Your voice sounds like a humming breeze on a beautiful summer day.
2. You drive me nuts in a good way.
3. You make me beg for everything just so I want you more.
4. You are more beautiful than any model or super idol in the universe, I’d know cause I've met them.
5. You break my heart everyday but are always able to mend it back up again.
6. I cry my heart out when I wake up to realizing you aren't there to hold me tight.
7. You know all my faults and yet you still love me.
8. I would have never known true love existed until I met you.
9. My love is not what the mind thinks, but what the heart feels, and you’re all I feel.
10. You are amazing just the way you are.
Sometimes words cannot explain the feelings of the heart, but still I can find the Love in your eyes. My life that is so full of love will never be dull.
I cannot wait to see you my gorgeous girl! I miss you more then I can say but I will always love you and when I finally return I will hold you in my arms and never let you go. And as always you’ll cry in my arms and beg me to say it once more; but I can never tell you that I love you enough.
I know it is early and you've just barely reached 19, but what I sent-which you’ll find in here-is for when I return because I cannot wait for the outcome my lovely.
Will you marry me?
The tears that had been held back finally tilted down my cheeks like a waterfall, releasing the sorrow I couldn't keep inside any longer. I held up the tiny ring to the light from above, it was mesmerizing with a fake jewel on top but it was the most beautiful jewel I’d ever seen. I couldn't help but smile as it glinted.
However before I could even reread Derek’s letter, the letter underneath it fell to my gaze and I frowned at the words that were upon the page that I’d been sent only a day ago.
Dearest Alexandra Pallen
We’re terribly sorry to tell you this but your fiance was killed in battle, he died bravely and was still talking about you as he lay on his deathbed. Derek really loved you. I cannot express my sorrow enough for you, I am sorry; he really was a great guy.
Your old friend, Maz K.
It hurt to breathe, it hurt to move as those words seemed to finally began to make sense, they shot my brain with fiery arrows of sorrow and acceptance. Derek, my boyfriend, my now fiance, my true love, was dead. He’d never hear how much I loved him and that I would have said yes a million times to his marriage proposal.
“I love you to Derek, I always will.” Shaking my head I sat on my bed and crumpled the notes to my chest hugging them desperately, one felt warm and had his scent clinging to it while the other was cold and bitter but I didn’t care. These letters were all I had left of my love, all I’d ever have.
A life in love will never be dull, but someday we all must fall.
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