It's been a while huh? Think the last time I wrote in a diary I was a moody teenager so here goes nothing...
They say when life gives you lemons to make lemonade but what do you do when life throws the whole goddam tree at you?
They say it's best to just roll with the punches but what do you do when life punches you so hard your chest feels like its closing in?
Everyone you meet is fighting a secret battle that you know nothing about, some hide it well, some dont. I personally would like to think I hide my pain quite well. Mainly because I force it down into the darkness where I don't want to deal with it until the next punch comes. I always prided myself on my instincts, on how I handled every lemon life threw at me and made some kick ass lemonade. I'm a fighter I always was. I'm a survivor and I always will be.
They say you don't know who your true friends are until life hits you such a punch you need help getting back up, it's in those times you see who your real friends are. The ones who are there in the good and the bad, the ones who lay there with you and let you cry or scream because they know that's what you need in that moment. The ones who make you laugh when all you want to do is fall apart, the ones who pretend to be your lesbian lover just to get the over eager guy at the bar to take a hike.
I wanna tell you a story of how life hit me a sucker punch to the gut that knocked the breath out of me, I wanna tell you about the one person who was there for me in that time. I wanna tell you about Ava, my best friend since we were 14. Our lives have changed along the way as we grew up but one thing always remained the constant. Our friendship.
In a space of 12 hours my whole world fell in on top of me, the rug ripped from under my feet life had kicked me on my ass. I wanna tell you about that day in October when everything changed.
So bare with me because you'll probably laugh or cry, or laugh cry, or ugly cry, maybe even all of the above.
I'm gonna tell you my story
Lots of love,