Chapter 103 is it or isn't it.
Chapter 103 Is It Or Isn't It?
In the next few days, Elizabeth calls her OBGYN making an appointment to see her. She gets her in before the New Year. Since In January, She and Brian will be off on a few places for the book tour. She wanted to make sure everything was going well with the baby before heading off. Not wanting any surprises while they were away.
She also wanted to know how far along she was. She was hoping it would let her know who the father was, so she wouldn't have to carry around this guilt inside. Also able to let Brian know either way, so if he changes his mind, she knows sooner than later.
She still had it in her mind if it wasn't his, he would never stay. Why would he want to take someone else's child? Of all else, Ethan's? This was something she truly never thought would be her.
Sleeping and being with one man for half a lifetime and now this? Not knowing who your baby's daddy is. Nothing could be any worse in her eyes. This wasn’t her at all. Yet, here she was, the things she said to Karen, were now slapping her back in the face. I guess Karma does come to get you. She just felt she dealt with so much, in her lifetime. Now even this? She would just have to step up and deal with it, as she has with everything else. No matter who the father was, it was her child. The more she thought about it, the more she was getting used to the idea of having another child, and protecting it at any cost.
The day of the Ultrasound, she and Brian get ready to leave to go to the doctor's appointment, both not sure if they are ready to hear what's to come. Brian just keeps all his emotions and fears to himself. Knowing this has to be enough on Elizabeth as it was.
While Brian is driving to the doctors, he knows he should say what is on his mind, before hearing the results today. He feels what he has to say would mean more said before rather than afterward.
“Elizabeth, I been thinking a lot about this. If it is Ethan’s, how would you feel not telling him? Making it mine from the start?” Brian asks.
“You would do that?” Elizabeth says.
“Yes, I was thinking that way, it would be ours. Ethan wouldn't have any say, or be in our way. Hurting you or the child. If it's his and we tell him, we will never be free. He will make a fuss wanting the child and also you. Unless that is what you want?” Brian comments.
“No, I don't want to have to be stuck with him again. I have been thinking about this over and over again. How he would want to take it to Karen’s. How she would egg him on, with the visiting rights, making an infant go to Wisconsin for the summer or longer. I can’t let my baby go there alone, and I sure don’t want to be anywhere near him. It would ruin everything.” Elizabeth says.
“I was thinking the same. So what do you think about my idea?” Brian remarks.
“I think if you're ok with it, let's do it. The child will be yours no matter what. Staying here with us and being raised normally like my other children. ” Elizabeth answers.
“Great, then we are having a baby,” Brian says with a smile.
Brian was glad that Elizabeth was ok with his idea. It was something, he has been thinking about since he heard the news. He also knew how Ethan was. Their life would never be the same. Ethan would have to say over the child, making Elizabeth have to do what he wanted. Pulling her more towards him. Brian even a little worried, this would bring them back together again. Just so Elizabeth wouldn't have to worry about the child. He saw how she cared for her others. He knew even if it meant giving up her wants and needs, she would. Just to protect and make the child's life good.
At first, Elizabeth is happy with what Brian just said. It made a lot of sense and took a lot of drama and pain away from the situation. Just in hindsight, it wasn't as good of a plan as she thought. If it would be Ethan’s, the child would never know its real father. Ethan might have been a lot of things that she didn't like, but when it came to being a dad, he was a good one.
One that was always there for his children when it counted. He just happened to suck at being a Husband, but this wasn’t about that. This was about the child. She would be lying to it all of its life, and if it ever found out, there was a chance the child would hate her. Never really understanding why she and Brian had chosen this.
Then she thought if she didn’t do it this way, they would all suffer in other ways. She knew how Ethan was. He was never going to make this go pleasantly. Neither would his family. He might even fight her for full custody, just to hurt her. It wasn't like when they were together raising the children. Ethan hated her for leaving him, for cheating. For seeing him for what he really was and not letting him control her anymore. With this new child, his control would be back more than ever over her. Having her stuck, just like she was all those years. Staying for the other children, so she didn’t have to deal with him taking them away, or going to his place for weekends.
There were many times she wanted out of their marriage. Way before Brian ever appeared or even the book. Her children are what stopped her, along with her in-laws, who would have had a field day with everything, adding salt to the wounds. Things were just too complicated. She already has been this route, thinking of every which way, which always leads to her stay. Just this time, she had an out, she just hoped she didn’t have to use it.