Elizabeth sits on the step, waiting for Brian to return. Still feeling very upset, just a tad better at knowing he was coming home. She just wondered, what would take place next? Even with him coming back, nothing was changing. All the things, he hated were still here. They still had four months till they would find out who the child’s father really was. Anything could happen in those four months. Ethan wasn't going to let it go down without a fight no matter what. She already knew that.
Then she thought about, how upset he was about her using Ethan’s last name. Never really thinking about it. She used it for twenty years, it was just natural to use. It wasn’t any harm towards Brian, just something that came naturally. She just knew now, she would have to change that and use her maiden name. Also realizing as the author she has become, the books were under Elizabeth Marks. She was married to Ethan when she started this, it wasn’t something she could change.
She was just starting out and gaining momentum. She couldn’t change the name on the book now. She would have to talk to Monica and see if she was just able to change the new ones being made to Elizabeth M. Maybe that would help Brian feel better. Which should work, since Brian’s last name was McGinnis.
She also thought about marrying him, would this be something she could really do? Let go and put all the past behind and start totally fresh. Not letting the past failure, guide her new life? Terror filled her, just thinking about it. Not the fact she would be married. She didn't mind that part or being Brian’s fully, that she actually didn't mind at all. It was all that came with it. Just to say I do, didn't change anything. Just made things more complicated.
If this would fail it would be the second time, Just this time it would be worse. If a fight felt like this, what would him leaving her for good feel like? Or drifting apart and not wanting each other anymore? This time not only would her family know it was a failure, but the world would know also. Everything they did would be in the tabloids. They were not just regular people anymore. They were not A-listers but they were big enough for it to make the news. Not to mention, the more books she would sell the more well known she would be. Even her success in that, being linked to Brian. Which was her own doing, wanting a real Zach for herself.
She now had one, she could touch. That was hers. It was a frightening feeling to love someone so much, not to want to be away from him. Or for this to end, the child growing inside of her not being much help. Even if the relationship took a dive, they would forever be linked to each other through the child. Having to be in each other's lives for a very long time. The thought of seeing him with anyone else ripped through her. Then it was all fear that stemmed mostly from Ethan.
A lot of this she never even thought about with him. THen she never really thought she would be divorced from him, no matter how bad the relationship was, she never really thought divorce was in the cards. She made peace with things and let them go as they were. Until she wrote the book and wanted so much more. Not only that, she didn't feel this way towards him.
She wanted to explore the things she never did before. Seeing how it felt to be attracted to someone else and have passionate sex. To be close to someone, not only sexual but on other levels giving each other what they both needed. She found it, now she had to do her best to keep it.
As she sits there, she puts her fears in the back of her mind, determined not to lose him. To make this work no matter what. He was her fantasy man. He gave her everything she needed and more, she had to be the same for him.