Chapter 26 Goodbye
Chapter 26 Goodbye.
Elizabeth has done her best, not to get on the subject of when they had to separate. She tried to keep things light. Not really knowing, what to say. Not knowing, what she really wanted. She knew it was going to be a whole month away from him.
Its been three months, they had spent together. Seeing each other every day. The last month incredible. Being the best time, she ever had in her whole life. Still, she was scared. She was very unsure of everything.
“Babe, What are we going to do?” Brian finally gets up the nerve to ask.
” What do you mean?” Elizabeth asks.
“You know what I mean. We have been together three months straight. What are we going to do the month apart? I can’t even picture a day without you.” Brian admits.
“You are the sweetest man I ever met. To be honest with you, I think for the month, we should stay away. We should really see how we feel about each other.“Elizabeth states.
“What do you mean feel about each other? I am madly in love with you. I know how I feel.” Brian comments.
“I am glad you do because I don’t,” Elizabeth confesses.
” You don’t love me?” Brian asks with hurt in his voice.
” It’s not that. I do love you. I do have feelings for you. It’s just.....” Elizabeth stops.
“Just what? You know you can tell me anything. We talk about so much. Why are you not telling me how you feel now?” Brian remarks.
“Because....” She says. Looking at him with tears in her eyes. “I don’t know if this is real.” Elizabeth answers.
“What do you mean by real? Of course, it is. I felt it as soon as I saw you. You did too. You picked me, not even looking at anyone else.” Brian states.
“Yes, but it wasn’t you, I saw. I saw Zach. I was obsessed with Zach. I wanted to be with him so badly. I talked Monica into getting me one. Which was you, I am afraid, I only care about you because you remind me of him.” Elizabeth states.
“I may look like him, but that means nothing. You could have turned me into him, that doesn’t mean we would like each other. That we would get along so good. That the sex would be this incredible. You fell for me. For my personality. This is me. The only thing you changed was my hair color. I could have looked like him, and we could have hated each other.” Brian states.
“True but I am still confused. I never felt like this before. I need time. Time to think. I think the month is a good thing. Time for us to be with our families. To see how we feel without each other.” Elizabeth answers.
“You’re going to go home to him? A man that doesn’t even see you? You are better than that. You know that right?” Brian shouts.
“Yes. I have been married to him for twenty years. This is a lot to think about. My girls. My life.” Elizabeth comments.
“You hated your life. Now you want to go back to it? Did you not enjoy your time with me?” Brian snaps.
“Yes. OF course, I did. Of course, I do. More than you know. You showed me so much, in so little time. You just need to give me some space. Please.” Elizabeth comments.
“Whatever. If that’s what you need. You have my number if you need me. I want you to know that I love you. I have from the start. Not because of what you turned me into. Not because of the book or money or any of it. Because being with you makes me feel alive.” Brian responds.
Elizabeth goes to him giving him a hug, as tears run down her face. Here stood a man that loved her, that treated her with respect. That thought she could do anything. A man she wished for and never thought she would find. Now she wants to leave him. What the hell is wrong with her? She thought to herself.
She packed her bags. Getting everything from the last hotel room. Taking a look around, seeing Brian packing the last of his things. How gorgeous he was. His pale smooth skin, his blue eyes that you could get lost in, and mostly that grey silver hair that drove her wild. This man was perfect to her. Could she leave her old life for him? Would it work? Or would the heat disappear and just become what she already has with her now husband? That was her biggest fear.
They both get into a cab, having not much to say to each other. She could see that Brian was upset. Just not saying anything. She wanted space so he was giving it to her. Even though inside he was dying slowly. For the first time, in his whole life, He was really in love. He really wanted her fully.
It wasn’t like any other relationship he had. It wasn’t just sex to him. She was the person, he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Never thinking, he would find that. Now it was sitting next to him, slowly fading away. There were no words for how he felt at this moment. He just hoped that she would figure out she felt the same for him. Otherwise, this was going to be a big mess.
Once at the airport, they gather their things, going inside. Her looking for the line for Wisconson flights. Him looking For NJ. They look at each other before heading to their own destination. Slowly walking away from each other. A hurt in Elizabeth’s heart as she watches him walk away. A sudden panic in her, makes her start running towards him. He Turns around and she falls into his arms.
“I will miss you.” She says with tears in her eyes. Holding him tight.
“I will miss you too. You know, where I am if you need me.” Brian answers.
“Yes. Stay safe. I will see you in a month.” Elizabeth says. Giving him a deep kiss.
They let go walking away from each other. Each getting on their plane. Elizabeth sits there when all of a sudden, she starts to sob. This sharp pain in her heart, she can’t control. She doesn’t know, why but she just can’t stop herself from crying. A feeling that she just lost part of herself. Maybe the best part fills her mind.
Did she just do the dumbest thing? She tries to control herself, whipping her eyes. Trying to muffle the sound of her sobs in her tissue so no one else would hear. She shrinks down into her seat. Nothing stopping how she feels. The emptiness taking hold. This desire to call him, but she knows she can’t. All phones are off now. Not to mention, it’s only been ten minutes. She calms herself. Taking a deep breath, Feeling she will see if she feels this way when she gets home. If this feeling lasts the whole month. If so she was in trouble.
On the other plane, Brian isn’t doing any better. Only thing is he isn’t sobbing. He does have the empty feeling inside himself. Scared that she will pick her old life over him. Not for anything, but just because she is scared to let her true feelings out. He feels she has been so sheltered that now, she will just shrink back into her old self. The self that her husband led her to believe was her.
He just hoped That she was stronger than that. That she would realize she was so much more than that life. He would give her the space, She wanted, even though it was killing him. He would be home in no time. There just wasn’t any rush there for him. Home to what? Living with his brother? The only good thing was his son. Even with that came Victoria. Who he rather not see. Their relationship had been rocky. She always thought they would have gotten married. He never really saw that. Just stayed all that time with her because he was used to her. Once he left her, he realized there was so much life had to offer. He hoped Elizabeth would figure out the same.