The next morning comes, and Elizabeth is up bright and early, to get the kids ready for the plane ride. As she is packing the last of her things, Brian is doing his own, not saying a word. Being very quiet for the last day. Which is pissing Elizabeth off. She just hates when he does this, she feels he is being very childish. Plus she is used to talking to him and always sharing. This is killing her inside.
“So how long are you going to ignore me? You didn’t talk to me at all last night, only when needed. You talked to the boys and then went to your office and spent the night there. So is this what we are doing now? Is this what we have come to?” Elizabeth snaps.
“I don’t want to say something that will start a fight, but I guess even being quiet is doing that. I had work to finish up because of this so-called trip. It's just putting me behind.” Brian answers.
“I was always able to tell you how I felt and you would listen without this. Is this a new thing? You don’t like what I say so you ignore me? Runaway from me? I know how this goes, I played it myself a long time ago. I also remember when I was pregnant and you did this to me.” Elizabeth says.
“Look, you can tell me anything. I always listen, even when I don’t like what is going on. Just this time, I don’t understand. I am not ignoring you, I just rather not say anything. How I am feeling right now, it's better for me to be quiet. Plus I don't want to fight in front of the kids. I am not doing what I did then, I promised us both I wouldn't ever do that again.” Brian replies.
“I think this is childish. I never seen you act like this before. I do want to know how your feeling, I care how your feeling. We never fought, we just discussed things. We leaned on each other, I don't want to lose that.” Elizabeth says.
“You want to go say goodbye to him, to a life you hated. If you're so happy with me why do you need this? Why that he calls you and you jump to go? You're saying me? I never saw you like this! Talking to him, and being nice. SO now everything is forgotten and ok? We just forget all the shit he pulled? That he put us through? He fucking raped you Elizabeth!” Brian says trying to keep his voice down.
“This has nothing to do with us. I am happy with you. It's not about Ethan either, not the way your thinking anyway. I can’t hold on to the past forever Brian. Little by little it's taking a piece of me away. Ethan was always good at doing that to me. Making me feel that I could never love again, or even want to at times. That everyone was like him and I was too cold to open myself up again. I haven’t forgotten anything he has done to me. I just can’t hold on to it anymore. I have made so much progress with you. Opening up again and doing my best to trust and let go. Yet, still at times, I find myself going back to what I was. I am hoping this trip helps with that. I am just sorry you can’t see it that way.” Elizabeth answers.
“I just don’t want him hurting you again. Your not cold at all, your warm, and caring. Too caring, you let the wrong damn people in. Wanting to help, I am afraid he will take advantage of that. Then I am the one to pick up the pieces again.” Brian admits.
“I know you don’t want him to hurt me, and I am sorry you had to deal with the rape. It seems like you have more resentment, than I thought, maybe more towards me for putting myself in that position. You blame me, don't you? I am sorry, but it took me time to recover from that. I am sorry you felt like you were picking up the pieces. Do you really think, I wanted him to do that to me? That I asked for it?” Elizabeth hisses.
“I didn’t mean it that way, I know what you went through was a lot. I was glad to be there for you. I will always be there for you. I just saw how when I touched you, you would flinch, how scared you were for a long time. Even after we made love, it took you a long while to really open up and get back to what we had. I don’t want him to take anything more from you. You fought hard to get yourself back, and I don’t want to see you have to do that again, and No I don't think you wanted him to do that to you.” Brian states.
“I will be fine. You have to trust me. You still didn't answer my question, do you blame me for it?” Elizabeth says.
“I do trust you, it’s him I don’t. I asked myself many times why you were alone with him, then I know how you are. How caring you are. You wanted to do good by him, and he used it against you. It's my whole freaking point! How he turns things around, to suit himself no matter how.” Brian answers.
Elizabeth doesn’t say anything else. She just continues to pack her things. She sees Brian’s point of view, she just hoped he saw hers as well. It hurts her to think he may blame her for the rape, then she blamed herself many times. She just never thought a man she trusted and was with for so many years would do something like that to her. The thought hurt her deeply, she stops packing to go into the bathroom to take a breath. As she can't hold back her tears.
Just thinking about what happened, takes her back. Tears flow down her face, as the pain takes over. She just knows now isn't the time for this. She has to be strong, as always. She splashes some cold water on her face and heads out. Acting as if nothing is wrong.
Brian notices something isn't right. He knows this is taking a toll on both of them, not only the trip but everything lately. He also knows that him saying what he did, brought up a lot of pain. Its why he wanted to remain quiet.
"Babe, are you ok?" Brian says.
"Yea, I will be fine. We need to get going." Elizabeth answers holding strong.
"Are you sure? You know I didn't want to hurt you." Brian replies.
"I'm fine. Can we please go?" Elizabeth says.
"Are you mad at me?" Brian asks.
"No," Elizabeth says.
"That doesn't seem convincing." Brian pushes.
"I don't know what else to say at the moment. I just want to get this on the road." Elizabeth states.
"Ok, I will get the kids," Brian responds.