The Fantasy Affair

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Chapter 296

Chapter 296

Elizabeth wants to go see her old house, it's getting late and she wants to before the night is over. She sees Brian, busy with work, not even knowing if she is there or not. So she just picks up and goes herself. Feeling what is the point? He really didn’t even want to be here. Yet, at the same time, she wishes she could share this with him, bringing him with her, to show him where she lived half her lifetime. Just instead of fighting, she goes alone, letting a car pick her up in front of Joan’s home.

She gets in and drives to her old house, pulling up taking a look at the home, she spent, all her youth in, the home she came home to as a bride. And the home, she took home her two babies in. She just stands outside in front of it for a while, taking everything in.

It was easy to leave it before, it was still there as Ethan's home. Everything would stay the same, but now that would all change, someone new would come in and take over. It was no longer either of theirs. It would be a stranger's.

A pain runs through her, remembering it all. Good times, bad times. funny times. Twenty years' worth of memories in one small home. She walks up the porch and goes in with her key. Seeing it empty, which she hasn’t seen it like this since they moved in so many years ago. She looks at the stairs and sees her daughters running down them, as little girls getting ready to go off to school. She sees Ethan carrying her through the front door on their wedding night. She walks to the kitchen and remembers the family dinners she cooked every night. Everything just floods back to her.

She slowly walks upstairs, peeking into the room that was her daughter's room, remembering putting them to bed. Walking down the hall to Ethan and her bedroom, which only brings her fear as she stands there. Not remembering anything good, just when he held her down and did what he wanted to her. Also remembering how she missed Brian and wanted him so badly, writing him tons of notes, and how she needed him to be there for her.

She just walks back downstairs, saying goodbye in her own way. She walks to the yard and goes outside, seeing the firepit, Which she lights and sits by, taking in the quiet and peacefulness around her.

She hears someone behind her and goes to look, to see Ethan coming out into the yard.

“Hey, I see you got here,” Ethan says.

“Yes, I been here for a while, just saying goodbye in my own way.” Elizabeth answers.

“It looks different being empty doesn’t it?” Ethan asks sitting in the other chair next to her.

“It does, I was sitting here remembering the girls In summer, thinking they were fishes out here in the pool.” Elizabeth laughs.

“I remember that, coming home from work, finding you all out here. It was nice.” Ethan states.

“It was, It was also a long time ago,” Elizabeth replies.

“It sure was. How are you doing? You seem different.” Ethan responds.

“I’m tired, to be honest. A lot has been going on. This wasn’t the best of times to come here, but I needed to say my goodbyes.” Elizabeth says.

“Brian not happy with it is he?” Ethan asks.

“No, not at all. He isn’t happy with you texting me either. Or that we are friendly.....he doesn’t see the point. He thinks you are up to something.” Elizabeth admits.

“I can understand why he feels that way. I am sorry he does though. I am not up to anything. I just want things to be as normal as they can be for our girls. The way things were going before it wasn't making anyone happy. I know, I had a lot to do with it. I had a lot of time to think about things. To work on my life.” Ethan answers.

“I think its better this way as well. I am trying, but I have to say there were a lot of things you did that hurt me, Ethan. Even before we split.“Elizabeth states.

“I know, I can’t take them back. I am sorry for a lot of it. I wish I would have paid more attention to the stuff I was doing wrong and work on it. Maybe we wouldn’t have ended like this?” Ethan comments.

“I had my share in it also, I didn’t try to fix it. I just let it go, and when you were willing to fix it, I didn’t want to. I gave up on it a long time ago. Things just pushed me away to the point I didn’t want to try or even care to.” Elizabeth says.

“I know, I said things and did things to hurt you. It hurt me as well when I would try to be close to you and you would push me again. I felt rejected, but there wasn’t anything I could do. So I went looking elsewhere and would say things to hurt you the way I was hurting.” Ethan admits.

“I did too, what we shared wasn’t working for me anymore. I needed something more, something new. Someone who saw me as exciting again. I think we both did. I know, I pushed you away, I couldn't force the right feelings toward you.” Elizabeth answers.

“Jessica did that for me, as Brian did for you. That doesn’t mean I didn’t love you. I just wasn’t in love with you.” Ethan confesses.

“I don’t want to hurt you, but if I am honest, I wasn’t either. I felt bad leaving and hurting you, it hurt to leave our children and everything I knew even though, I really wanted to. But I wouldn’t say I loved you. I know what real love is now, and we didn’t have it. We stayed for the kids, our history, the people talking about us, and because we were scared to leave. We were scared of the unknown. Brian and Jessica were just diversions to get our minds off of what we were going through. It just happened that I fell madly in love with him.” Elizabeth admits.

“That was a lot, but true. I care for Jessica, at one time I thought I loved her, but I see that I am so much happier just being single. To be me. I don’t think I will ever get married again. I don’t think marriage is for me. I mean I like someone taking care of me, but I don't think I want to put all the work in. I am happy coming home, drinking my beer and going to bed. ” Ethan states.

“You were always happy doing that, just now you don’t have to deal with anyone else. So maybe that is a good thing. Relationships are hard work, and if you're not going to put in the effort it is better to stay alone.” Elizabeth comments.

“We sure have come a long way, haven't we? Just to be able to sit here like this and talk the way we are.” Ethan replies.

“We sure have, I am trying to let go of everything Ethan. Just some things are harder than others. Just if I don’t forgive you, I will never be able to move on like I want to. It’s why I came here. I need to let the pain go of the Rape, of the things you said to me, of how you treated me. Even the pain of how I treated you, and things I did to you. It's just a lot.” Elizabeth confides.

“I am really sorry for the rape, I was drunk and not thinking. I was filled with so many feelings, I just paid attention to them and not you.” Ethan states.

“Like always. No one knows but I still freak out at times from the Rape. I try my best so that Brian doesn’t see it anymore. When we are intimate I want to let go and sometimes I can’t, I just see you pinning me down.” Elizabeth admits with tears in her eyes.

“I know what I did was wrong, I can’t say sorry enough. I don’t know how to make you forgive me for it Elizabeth. It will be a year coming up, I know it takes time. I am sure Brian understands that as well.” Ethan replies.

“I think he blames me, I was alone with you like I am now. I should have known better, you were drunk and upset over your father. I blamed myself many times.” Elizabeth responds.

“It wasn’t your fault, it was mine. I am sorry for all the pain it brought to you. I would never do that again. You don’t have to be worried about being alone with me. I saw the next day how you freaked out when I went to touch you. How you looked at me, I never want you to look at me that way again.” Ethan remarks.

As Elizabeth is sitting there she gets a text.

Brian: 6:40 Where are you?

Elizabeth: 6:43 I am at my old home.

Brian: 6:45 I am on my way!

“Brian is coming, He doesn’t want me alone with you. I feel better after having this talk with you Ethan. Taking one more look at our home. I saw somewhere, that you write on a piece of paper what is holding you back or what is bothering you, and then you light it on fire and set it free. I want to do that.” Elizabeth says looking at the fire pit.

“I will do it also.“Ethan answers.

Both getting a small piece of paper and writing down the things they hurt them, things that were keeping them both from letting the past go, then they through each of their papers into the fire to burn.

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