Chaper 32 Growing up.
Chapter 32 Growing up.
Another week goes by, it’s now almost the end of week three. Elizabeth has stayed away from Brian, even though it’s been extremely rough. Instead of it getting better, It only seemed to get worse as the days go on. She would think about him more and more, In everything that she would do. Wanting so much to tell him. Just trying to make sure it was more than just sex. More than him looking like her fantasy. She wanted it to be real, before going to him. At this point, she was even scared. Feeling he probably let go. He wasn’t waiting for her to call him. She was feeling insecure.
Her relationship with Ethan has gotten a bit better. He still comes home late at night. She just sees, he treats her a bit better and wants to do more for her. She doesn’t spend that much time at home either. Going to workout in the morning, trying to spend time out because she was bored indoors. She wasn’t into spending the whole day cleaning. She would come home to make dinner, then be with the girls and even Ethan at night. Going to write a few chapters before bed. She spends a lot of time with her mother Joan. Making up the time, she was away. Also knowing, if she makes the choice to be with Brian, she wouldn’t be seeing her as often. So she spent the time now with her. Also knowing, that the book signings were coming up. That would be taking her away for a few more months.
One night, after she writes a few chapters of her book, Elizabeth heads to bed. Ethan in bed reading his paper. Waiting for her to come to bed.
“Hey, Done writing for the night?” Ethan asks.
“Yes, I got tired. Sometimes the thoughts just come to you. Then others you can’t think of a thing.” Elizabeth replies. Sliding herself into bed.
“I don’t know how you do it. I wouldn’t be able to think of all that.” Ethan states.
” I enjoy it. I get to live through my stories. Do things I never got to do in real life. It’s fun.” Elizabeth responds.
“Do you want to do those things?” Ethan asks.
“I don’t know. Not all of them no.” Elizabeth responds. Making herself comfy in the bed.
Ethan puts the paper down, closing the light. Then moving himself close to Elizabeth. Wrapping his arm around her waist, as she was laying on her side. Facing the opposite direction. Elizabeth isn't sure what was going on, As Ethan hasn’t touched her in years. He pulls her close to him, kissing down her neck. His hands roaming her body. At first, she likes it, Just taking in the feel of his hands. Then her mind takes her to Brian Thinking about his hands. How she wished they were his. A panic in her heart jolts her.
“Ethan, please. I am pretty tired.” Elizabeth states.
“It’s ok. I will do all the work, Just lay here.” Ethan states.
“No, that’s ok. I don’t feel like it.” Elizabeth answers.
“You never feel like it. We haven’t made love in years. Don’t you think we should change this? We Should work on our marriage? In a week you will be going away. I won’t see you again for months. I want more from our marriage Elizabeth.” Ethan snaps
“I don’t feel like it. Ok. I don’t know if I want to go back to that kind of relationship with you.” Elizabeth answers.
“What do you mean? You changed so much since you came home. What the hell is going on?” Ethan says sitting up in bed. Placing the light back on.
“I don’t think. I want this life anymore. I don’t even feel like I’m home.“Elizabeth admits.
“What do you mean? This has been your home for twenty years. You go off and now you think you’re too good for us?” Ethan shouts.
“I didn’t mean it that way. I mean I don’t think, I want to be a housewife anymore. I don’t want to spend my time in this place. I want more, I am more.” Elizabeth explains.
“Than get another job. Whatever you want. That shouldn’t have anything to do with us. Why are you pushing me away? What did you mean that you didn’t want that kind of relationship with me anymore?“Ethan barks.
“I am not sure if I still want to be married to you. We don’t have anything in common anymore. We grew apart. The kids are both older now. They don’t need us like they use to. Why stay miserable?” Elizabeth asks.
” So you’re miserable with me? Haven’t I given you everything? I know, I’m not rich but we have a home, food on the table. What do you want?“Ethan snaps.
“I want passion, I want love, I want respect. I want all the things we don’t have towards each other. We haven’t in years. You don’t even pay attention to me. You just started a little bit since I came home. Otherwise, you never even hear what I’m saying. You come home late, doing what you want. Then going to bed.” Elizabeth says.
“Then maybe we should change it? Work on it? We had it once. I am sure we can get it back.” Ethan comments.
“I don’t know. I need time to think. And did we really ever have it, if you think about it? We never had passion. We never really had anything I am looking for now.” Elizabeth answers.
"Wow, really? This is how you feel? I had a passion for you. I am really not sure what has gotten into you." Ethan remarks.
She was feeling, she doesn’t want to try, To her, it’s over. She just didn’t want to say it now. She knew when she would come home again. It would be their daughter’s graduation. She didn’t want that to be awkward. She kept the rest of her feelings to herself. Turning herself around in bed, not letting the conversation get any more out of hand. Wanting to keep it somewhat calm.
Ethan doesn’t know what else to say at the moment. He was taken off guard. Never thinking, Elizabeth would do this. He knew their marriage had issues but he was fine the way it was. He had no intentions of splitting up. He knew the more she would go away. It would make her see things differently. That she wouldn’t want to come back here. Like she said, she felt she wasn’t at home. This new person, he was starting not to like. He wanted the old one back. Just knowing she wasn’t coming back anytime soon.