Chapter 373 Saying Goodbye To The Past For Good.
A few days go by, Elizabeth happier than ever, it has been the best time of her life, thanks to Brian and her family. She has been getting ready for the wedding, looking at all kinds of things with her mom and Izzy. Sharing this time with both of them means the world to her. It has been very busy the last few days trying to pick out things since the wedding is only a few weeks away. Adam keeping his word and getting the venue, they wanted without any problems. Even giving him a discount for any trouble this may have caused. Adam was a wheeler and dealer and always was.
Elizabeth has been so busy, that when Ethan called her over and over again this week, she had no time to answer. Just putting him on the back burner, figuring God knows. what he wants to say now. She was over that life, now more than ever. Letting go of him fully in every way. She just wished, he would do the same once and for all. It was time they both moved on, there was really no sense in talking anymore. It wasn’t like their children were babies. They were grown women, and if they needed anything, they could ask themselves. She just knew Ethan kept this up, so he could have contact with her. She just felt there was nothing left to say.
She also knew if she kept dismissing him, he would never go away. He was persistent not letting up, leaving message after message. Like his life depended on her answering, which bugged the hell out of her. After their conversation at her mother's, she knew he didn’t change. She knew he still hated Brian and wished they would break up. That wasn’t happening, he had to get over it. She just wasn’t sure how to make that any clearer than she already has.
On the way home from picking out the flowers for her wedding the phone rings, again being Ethan. Elizabeth is in the car alone, so she figures this is a good time to hear what he has to tell her so urgently.
“Hello, Ethan, What seems to be the matter?” Elizabeth answers.
“What seems to be the matter is you don’t answer your phone! I called you a bunch of times this week.” Ethan snaps.
“I am busy Ethan, we have a lot going on.” Elizabeth answers.
“You could still text back, we still share children. We have things to talk about.” Ethan snaps.
“Our children are adults Ethan, anything they need they can ask me themselves. It doesn’t have to go through you or me. They are not eight asking for a bike for their birthday.” Elizabeth responds.
“I thought we were trying to make this work? To be friends?” Ethan says.
“When we have to be at special occasions for the girls, Yes, it would be nice to be friendly, but for any other time, I think its best we go our separate ways,” Elizabeth replies.
“We share a lot of history. I wanted you to know that my cousin Elly passed away. I know you liked her, I thought you would want to come to her funeral. To pay your respects with me.” Ethan comments.
“I am very sorry for your loss. She was a very special person. I will not be coming to the funeral or anyone else’s. We are no longer together, it’s best you go alone.” Elizabeth states.
“I know my father's funeral didn’t go so well. You could take..............him with you.” Ethan says.
“Him as my husband? We will both be passing but thank you for the invite. I don’t want to be rude, I just feel its time to move on fully. Both of us.” Elizabeth answers.
“Aren’t your tired of him yet? It’s been going on two years of this bullshit. When are you going to see he isn’t your fantasy man? The man you wrote in the book, isn’t real. No matter how much you try for him to be. Brian is a loser and would have nothing without you. He can’t give you anything he is just a fraud.” Ethan blurts out.
“Wow, so that is how you really feel. When you love someone, you don’t tire of them. It just grows stronger. It might have started as him being the man out of the book, but that’s not what he is anymore. He is even more than my fantasy man. He is the love of my life. My soulmate.” Elizabeth comments.
“You are such in la-la land, you don’t see straight, and what the hell is going on with Izzy. I can’t get a straight answer out of her. I know she isn’t living with you anymore. What the hell is that? You were supposed to take care of her, watch over her, not let her go be on her own!” Ethan yells.
“I am watching over her. God damn it, can’t you see anyone grow up? Anyone be a woman they are supposed to be? She has a wonderful job and an apartment. She is doing wonderful in school trying to be something. You should be proud of her. Yes I worry that she lives alone, and I wish she would have stayed, but she wanted her own. She is growing and succeeding. ” Elizabeth shouts.
“Yea, just let her work for that asshole of your “Husband.” The one and all mightly one. I don’t call that a good job. I thought this would be for school, then she would come home. Back to where she belongs.” Ethan says.
“I know you're upset that she moved away, I understand that. Just please don’t act like this when you talk to her. Don’t make her hate you, the way you made me hate you. You always said the most hurtful things. You never think before you talk. Don’t do that with our kids! And to your comment about my Husband, you have a lot of nerve. He is supporting our daughter, in what she wants to do. Watching over her. Everything is always so complicated with you. It makes me crazy. You know what Ethan, you're just jealous of him, and our relationship, which you have no right to be. You had it, you didn’t want it. You treated it like dirt, you walked all over me, now move on! I did, I am over you, and all you did to me. I will not let you rule me ever again.” Elizabeth remarks.
“For someone who is over it, you still bring it up. Over me? How the fuck can you be over twenty years of marriage. Twenty years of history good and bad. You don’t remember all the good we had? It wasn’t always shitty. Even though you state it was. This new life is all that wonderful with him? He has more skeletons in his closet than Halloween. What happens when the sex goes away? It’s been two years, its getting time for it to die down as it does in most relationships. Then you two start living like brother and sister, and with his past of screwing everyone, he isn’t going to be like me and wait fifteen years to start cheating. He will do it after a year if not less. Not to mention how much younger he is, and the next hot thing passes in front of him.” Ethan shouts.
“Wow! I can see the pettiness inside of you. Yea we did have good once upon a time, not enough to outweigh all the shit. It gets old Ethan, putting up with you got old. And for your information, our relationship isn’t based only on sex. Not that we are having any problems in the department. Unlike you, he knows how to satisfy me, to bring me back for more. I don’t see it going away for a long time, but when and if it does, at least we can say we had it. At least we can say we had any of this. If it fails, I tired. I had more with him than I have ever had with you the full twenty years we were married. ” Elizabeth yells.
“You're just saying this shit because you're pissed at me. When we first got together you couldn’t keep your hands off of me. Do you think I forgot? It slowed down after our first child.” Ethan comments.
“I was in love with you at that time, the sex wasn’t mind-blowing, but I enjoyed being close to you. Until you ruined that as well as you did with everything. There is no point in us fighting over this or anything. It's not going to fix it or bring us back. I don’t want it to. I am happy being the person I am now. ” Elizabeth answers.
“You can’t tell me you don’t have regrets. That there were things you wouldn’t want to fix.” Ethan says.
“I have a lot of regrets. I have a lot of things that I would want to go back and redo. Don’t we all? Just if I would have that chance, we wouldn’t have our children.” Elizabeth states.
“So you're saying you wouldn’t have married me at all??” Ethan asks.
“No, I wouldn’t have married anyone at that time. I would have concentrated on my education and have a career, then get married. I was too young to get married, too young to have children. I didn’t know what love was, I was in love with love. Not realizing what it really meant.” Elizabeth answers.
“And your in love with him? He is all perfect and what you need?” Ethan huffs.
“Perfect? No, he has flaws just like everyone else. We have ups and downs, but yes I love him. He respects me, the way I am. He doesn’t put me down or make me feel small. He doesn’t just see me as a housewife, he is grateful for the things I do for him. He thanks me, and helps. I am not the only one to take care of our son, we share the responsibility like we do everything. He doesn’t tell me, I am the stay at home mom, so I have to do it. Anything I do is because I want to. That doesn’t make him better than you, Ethan. I am not telling you this to hurt you. It’s just me and him are compatible where me and you are not.” Elizabeth replies.
“I still think throwing away twenty years for this, wasn’t worth it. We could have worked it out, you are just not willing to or want to.” Ethan answers.
“There was no point in trying. Neither of us was going to change. A few months wasn’t going to make things right. It would just go back to what we were, I wanted more. I wanted to be happy and I am. You need to be to. We have been over this. I guess I better tell you before you hear it from someone else. Brian and I are getting remarried in front of family and friends. We are making it even more official.” Elizabeth responds.
“No wonder you have been busy. Have you told Sofia? You know from all this shit you pulled you lost your closeness with her? Is that worth it? You say that our relationship sucked but what about our children. The life they are living in now is what you want? The mother and father they had always are now all turned upside down, for him. I may have cheated, and done wrong, but I never left you. I never turned your world upside down or theirs. I did my best not to let any of you know for that reason.” Ethan remarks.
“So that makes it better? That you lied to me for seven years? You had two lives? I have told Sofia, she said she would be there. I know our relationship isn’t fully like it was but I am trying to rebuild it. I hate to hurt either of them or to change their lives. I lived for twenty years with you, to give them a stable life. To give them the mom and dad they needed. I can’t give up my whole life for theirs. They are adults now, they can choose what they want. Sofia is a married woman herself now, she should understand even more. You make it that I am so bad, so wrong. Was I suppose to give up my entire life, and be miserable so they could think everything was ok? Even now that they are on their own? Can’t you just understand, I am happy. Finally Happy, finally feeling this is where I need to be.” Elizabeth states.
“You should have been happy here, with your family. Your real family. I can’t change how you feel or even how you think. You're just so far from the person I married. ” Ethan admits.
“And yet your still trying to fight for it. Why I don’t really understand. You were not happy either, you wanted more also. Now you have the chance to get it, yet you ponder over what was, what you think was. You need to stop this Ethan. Not only for me but for yourself. You have to live for yourself now, not anyone else. Find something or someone who makes you happy and go with it. Stop looking at the past. Stop looking at our failures. Our relationship kept me closed, and harden for a long time, scared to let anyone in fully. I lost time, and happiness from it, but no more. You need to do the same.” Elizabeth replies.
“It's easier for you, you moved on without even being apart from me. I was doing ok there for a while, then Izzy moved away, I lost another thing in my life. It just seems things are going away from me little by little and I have no control over it. I never thought any of this was going to happen.” Ethan comments.
“Neither did I, but it did. She moved but you haven’t lost her, she will always be your daughter. She loves you, you just need to stay calm and make her be able to talk to you.” Elizabeth responds.
“I will, I don’t want to lose our children. They mean the world to me.” Ethan replies.
“You won’t, and I know they do. You were always a good father. I need to be going, I have a lot to get done. You will be fine Ethan.” Elizabeth answers.
“Yea, I won’t be calling again. I will stay away. I hope you really are as happy as you state with him.” Ethan asks.
“I am, and thank you.” Elizabeth states.
Ethan sees now, there is no point, no matter what he says or does, she wants Brian. Knowing that they are even having a regular wedding, makes him see how real it is. This man walked away with his life, its what pissed him off the most.
Then he realized this resentment was getting him nowhere, it was just taking over his life. When he started to let go before he felt so much better, he needed to go back to that, to get out of this slump. He promised himself he would.