Sean sits in his office at home, trying to do some work and keep the firm going while Brian is on his one week honeymoon. He didn’t mind at all either knowing that Elizabeth and him really needed this time away from everything. He was happy his brother found her, and in a way, if it wasn’t for the meeting, he would have never met Izzy.
Sean sits there and thinks about Izzy, how she makes him smile and brings life back into him. How they talk for hours, and it never gets old. Even just sitting next to each other made him happy. He hasn’t felt like this in forever. Then he thinks is this just the newness of everything? Then in the last ten years, he has met a lot of people, none of them making him feel this way. Never thinking about leaving Martha or wanting to before either. He was happy in his safe little cocoon, until now.
He thinks about how his and Martha’s relationship hasn’t been the same in years. They are together like an old married couple. Now with work not even seeing each other as often, drifting off into different worlds. Was it Izzy? Or was this happening from before and he didn’t want to see it? Did Martha see this also? He knew he should have a conversation with her, it was the only way to see what was really going on. Just in a way, he was frightened too, frightened to hear what she was would say, and not wanting to hurt her with what he had to say. He was stuck, he didn’t want to hurt either woman. And in trying not to do so, he was only driving himself mad and hurting himself.
Sean gets up from the dark brown beat-up office chair and walks out of his office to Martha standing in their kitchen. He just looks at her, feeling disappointed in himself.
“Hey, how is work going? You sure do spend a lot of time in that office. I never see you anymore.” Martha says.
“Work is fine, I know I am pretty busy with everything. Brian’s honeymoon isn’t making things any easier.” Sean answers.
“I am sure it's not. You were pretty busy even before that. You seem distant, even when you're not working.” Martha replies.
“I have a lot on my mind lately. I have also been thinking about us, how things are not the same and haven't been for a while.” Sean responds trying to start out slow.
“No, it hasn’t been. We don’t even talk like we use to. I think you are lost now that you don’t have to worry or chase Brian around anymore.” Martha states.
“I didn’t mind being there for my brother when he needed me. He found what he is looking for most of us don’t.” Sean comments.
“What are you looking for Sean? It doesn’t seem like what we have is something you want anymore. I am not blind. Do you really think I don’t see how you look at Izzy? I just never thought you would be like your brother.” Martha snaps.
“I am not like my brother, I have Not cheated on you ever, but I do feel we are lacking. I look at what Brian and Elizabeth have, and I am sorry to say we don’t have it.” Sean remarks.
“We don’t screw every minute no...Not every relationship is like that. That does fade after a bit and we got comfy being with each other. I thought we built more.” Martha hisses.
“It’s not about screwing every minute Gezz What is up with you? It's about the bond they have. The love they have. The closeness, that no one can seem to break no matter how fucked up things get. Yea sex fades, they have been up and down with that too and still here. Relationships are not built on just sex, You see what they have.“Sean comments.
“Yea I do, just not all relationships can be like theirs. Do you think it will be with Izzy? You still didn’t really answer that question. So you didn’t sleep with her, but you sure the hell want to.” Martha answers.
“I don’t know what it would be with Izzy. If I really think about things, It's more than about Izzy. It's about us. There is something missing and has been. I might have thought about her, but I didn’t act on it. Even with that being said I think we should take a break. ” Sean says finally getting the courage to.
“Fine, I will pack some of my things and go back to my parent's house. I don’t think it will be a break, I think it will be for good. I love you but I can’t get over that you want someone else in that way. It’s just you can’t seem to figure out who you want, so I will make that decision for you. I am not going to be Ethan or Victoria. I don’t play that shit. Maybe you are right and this is better. We been together for ten years and never mentioned getting married or having children. Our relationship was at a standstill. I want someone who knows they want to marry me, who wants me to be the mother of his children. You didn’t know that even before Izzy.” Martha snaps.
“I am sorry. I was happy for a long time just as things where. I don’t want to hurt you. “Sean comments.
“Your not, you just need to be honest with yourself on what you want. Your not a child anymore Sean, you're going on thirty years old. Your brother may be a lot of things, but once he met her he figured out what he wanted and went for it. He grew up, I suggest you do the same.” Martha replies walking away.
Sean knew that Martha was right, He needed to just do what his heart told him to do. He needed to stop overthinking things and just try. One big step was now out of his way. He was free of his relationship. Free to move on. He just knew he would wait till Martha was fully out of the house to do something about it. It was only fair. He also thought, even Martha saw how he felt about Izzy, everyone around him was, why was he so late to the party?