'Caleb Fallon I suggest you stop pretending you can't hear me and stop right there young man.'
Fuckity fuckity fuck. With a cherry on top.
I slowed, tugging out my earphone in mock surprise as my headteachers face came into view, a terrifying reality at the best of times, least of all when you are me.
'Would you like to hazard a guess at why I may need to speak with you?' her voice boomed down the corridor as she marched up to me, her spindly somehow sturdy enough to hold up her giant upper torso, complete with the saggiest tits I'd ever seen. Her eyes danced with delight at my obvious discomfort as I pretended to wrack my brains to piss her off even more.
'Was I running in the corridor? I didn't think I was -'
She cut me off with a fierce glare, baring her teeth at me like she was one kind of wild animal. Her chest puffed out and her cheeks deepens in colour as she bellowed so loudly I thought my eardrums were going to burst.
'CALEB FALLON! Don't think your little jaunts out of school during lesson time is going unnoticed. In fact, I'm going to call your mother and let her know that you've been sneaking off to smoke in an attempt to destroy what little brain cells you have left, as opposed to trying to further yourself here in school. One more slip up, Fallon, and you will be suspended. Are we clear?'
Not my mom.
'Crystal.' I smiled politely as she nodded her head briskly, walking in the opposite direction.
'Mrs Potts?' I called as she whirled on her heel, glaring at me.
'What now, Mr Fallon?'
'Could you call my dad? Only my mom's really snowed under with work and-'
Her face turned into a sneer as she spoke.
'I'm afraid not. I will be calling your mother first. My apologies.'
Mom was gonna bust my ass big time.