Suddenly.... Love crept in.

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Chapter 72. Where does your loyalty lie?

After the storm of Alando threatening to leave and take my babies away if I ever go see Eyan there was a moment of calm. My mom and Kathryn left while Alando had to go see about a project that he and his dad was dealing with. I on the other hand went back to my room and tried to get some rest but no matter how I twisted and turned sleep was nowhere to be found. My mind was restless as I kept on thinking about Eyan and his accident.

But why was I thinking about him though, after everything that he did, why was his life so important to me right now? Then as I laid there and like a flash of lightning it hit me, I knew why I was suddenly so sympathetic about his accident. It was because I blamed myself.

If I had not gone to see Vanessa, things wouldn't have been said, they would never have gotten into a fight and he wouldn't need to be driving after me like a crazy person on the road.

"Stop it!" I said to myself outloud "it is not your fault, you did not cause this" I kept on repeating to myself until I fell asleep.

Alando woke me up what looked like four hours after to feed the babies, I got up and immediately went with him to the nursery. As I sat on the chair infront of my babies incubator the nurse came up to me and smiled, she introduced herself as Nurse Wiggans and told me that she was gonna set up the feeding tubes for my babies and asked if I wanted to give them breastmilk or formula.

Due to the fact that they were born at almost 32 weeks, they were considered premature so they did not recommend that I breastfeed, Alando and the nurse was adamant that feeding through a tube was best after I began protesting. They explained that premature babies aren't born with mature sucking skills. In order to drink milk from the breast or a bottle, babies need to have a suck that is both coordinated and strong so ihad no choice but to give in. After they got me to calm down, they proceeded to extract the milk from my breast so she handed me a breast pump which I had no idea what to do with it. Alando realised my dilemma and quickly took control, he gently took one of my breast from my bra, placed the pump over my nipple and started pumping. I watched as the milk from my breast slowly went into the bag. It was a bit painful too because as one breast was being pumped, I could feel the other breast getting filled with milk. It was an experience of a lifetime which was painful but still, I enjoyed. After emptying one breast, the pump was placed on the other breast and I had to endure the pain all over again. This was unfamiliar territory for me but I sat there and beared the pain like a champ because my babies needed the milk.

After we were done, Alando placed my breasts back in the bra and I watched as they placed what were called OG tube into my babies mouths, down their esophaguses and into their stomachs.

"Have you decided on their names yet?" Alando asked from behind me and I spun around to face him.

"I was thinking that's something that we should do together"

"Yeah that's true...." he said and he folded his arms as he began working through the names in his head.

"I would like my daughter's name to be Allana, in memory of my twin sister" he said softly and without hesitation, I nodded and now it was my turn.

"My son...." I whispered as I looked at him taking his feeding through the tube. His name had to be special just like him and out of no where I whispered.

"Kyrie".....

From past research I learned that Kyrie was the name of a Christian prayer, also called the Kyrie eleison meaning "Lord, have mercy". It is ultimately from Greek kyrios meaning "Lord". In America it was popularized as a masculine name by basketball player Kyrie Irving who was also my favorite player.

"So its Kyrie-Jay Michael King for our son" I confirmed

"And it's Allana-Nicole Gizelle King for our daughter" he said and I confirmed by nodding my head.

There was a medium sized sofa under a window near Kyrie-Jay and Allana's incubator, Alando had it placed there so he and I could rest if we were tired and didnt want to leave the the NICU. I was grateful that he was so thoughtful towards me, even now I dont know what I did to deserve this man. As laid in the sofa, I immediately fell asleep.

My dreams were filled with turmoil and sadness as they were loaded with images and memories of Eyan. They were so intense that I woke up crying. I got up and looked around Kyrie -J and Allana were still asleep, even the nurse was resting her head on the table. I checked the clock on the wall, it was now 2:45 am. Where was Alando? I thought he would be here with me at this hour of the morning, so I got up and went in search for him. I went to his office and he wasn't there so I headed to the nurses station but the elderly nurse that was there told me that he had went home.

"Oh okay, do you have any idea when he'll be back?" I asked.

"Unfortunately, I don't know" she replied, even though I was disappointed with her answer I smiled and walked away.

I stood in the lobby trying to decide what my next move should be, I didnt want to go back to sleep in fear that I would have dreams about Eyan again, I just needed something to do I thought. After fiddling with my fingers I decided to get something to eat from the cafeteria. As I started walking I saw a doctor coming from a room with a nurse behind him, they were talking about the patient looking like he wasn't going to make it and that they would talk to his family about considering pulling the plug on the life machine. When I heard life machine my skin pricked and everything in me told me that this was Eyan's room.

I made the decision right there that I would go in to see him, I just needed to see him. Alando wasn't here and I wouldn't be long. So after the nurse and doctor were out of sight I went in and quickly closed the door behind me.

As I walked to the bed I froze, it was Eyan and he was in terrible shape and he looked just as how I saw him in parts of my nightmares earlier. His head was bandaged, both his eyes were swollen shut, different tubes were in his mouth and he also wore a neck brace. His hands and feet were also swollen with cuts and bruises on various parts of his body. I wasn't someone who focused on the negatives but this was not looking good, he looked like a dead person and it was only the life machine that kept him alive. This definitely was not something I wished on my worst enemy, my heart was heavy, I stood at his bed side and wept bitterly.

After crying, I went closer and touched his face and then I started talking him.

"Oh Eyan, I'm sorry that this happened to you, why did you have to be this way, why couldn't you just stay at the house with Vanessa and let her yell at you? Why did you have to come running after me?" I said with loads of tears streaming down my eyes.

"Why would you even put your life in danger to come tell me that you loved me? There was no way you expected me to come back after everything that you've done, all the havoc that you caused in my life.... there was just no way that you would think I'd take you back. But yet still you did and here we are, you are dying and I'm at your side crying because somewhere deep down inside of me I still have a tiny bit of love for you and I hate myself for it. And even though you did the unforgivable thing of almost killing the father of my children, I'm just here to tell you that I forgive you..... I have to forgive you in order for me to stop feeling guilty and it's the only way for me to move on with my life with Alando and my babies in peace and with a clear conscience."

As I spoke the words of forgiveness. I willed myself to let him go, I also let go of all the hatred I had and genuinely forgave him for everytime that he had ever done me wrong. And I dont know if it was my imagination but I could've sworn I saw him smile and then I knew that he was okay.

I felt better, I was relieved, this is what I needed to do, I needed to forgive him so now there was nothing stopping me from letting this chapter of my life go....

Except as I spun around to leave, there was Alando sitting in a chair staring at me. I wished the earth would just open and swallow me whole right here.

He stared at me with his expression unreadable for a good three minutes, then slowly he got up from the chair and walked up to me and said....

"I told you that if you came to see this man, it would be over for us. I knew you couldn't stay away, thank you for proving to me where your loyalty lies." He said, then he did the unthinkable...


he removed his ring from my finger and walked out the door.


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