For a Saturday, the library was very empty. I couldn’t help feel a little bit happy knowing that it was all for myself. However, I felt a little confused, since a lot of students paid thousands for their education, why wasn’t everyone here?
I asked Debbie if she wanted to go study, but she said she was busy. So I ended up walking to the building by myself.
It was an eerie feeling on the weekend. I wondered if it was going to be like this for the rest of the year.
Maybe exam week will be different.
I kept checking my phone, but there were no messages. I took a long sigh and went back to my work.
Maybe I should text him first. Be the brave one. Who says gender roles are in anymore? It’s not. I think. Even if I was a man, I think I would still be very scared. Wait, maybe he was scared.
Wouldn’t it be nice for him if I messaged him first?
Yes, it would.
I took out my phone and messaged him: Hi, I just wanted to say that it was a nice date the other night. I hope you are having a good day.
As soon as I hit send, I hit my head on the table. “I’m a dork,” I said to myself.
I turned off my phone and started reading my textbooks again.
Debbie told me to be at the dorm by five so that we could get ready. When I did what she asked and got there at the right time, I was met by an empty dorm, with no one waiting for me. I was half hoping that maybe I didn’t have to go on this date after all.
Ten minutes later though, she walked in. “Hey, get dressed, they’re going to be here at six.”
“Six?” I asked. “Wait, what are we even doing?”
“Well, Dave, my date, wants to go to the movies and watch this new horror movie or whatever. It’s stupid. They just want us to jump in their laps.”
“I don’t have to do that do I?” I asked.
She laughed, “No, but I will. Scary movies don’t scare me though.”
Lucky her, bad news for me. I didn’t want to be scared and have to cover my eyes for the next two hours, but I didn’t want to be the odd ball out with the date going on. My mother told me to try new things and have fun with people, but I didn’t want this.
Could I say no?
“Well, Debbie,” I started.
She didn’t listen to me. “It’s going to be a lot of fun Steffi. You’re going to love this. That date you went on the other night was just practice, you’ll get better at this.”
Would this date be like the one I had with H? That made me a little more happy if that was the case. Though, I don’t think I will be taken to a bookshop like before.
“After the movie, what are we doing?”
She shrugged. “Maybe get a bite to eat. I don’t know, I don’t really plan step by step on how to have fun.”
I bit my tongue. I was a list person, I needed my schedule.
Debbie made me wear a green dress that she had in the back of her closet. It was very nice, and artsy, something for someone like her. But I wore it anyways, with leggings under, and flats. Debbie’s dress had no leggings.
“Aren’t you going to be cold?” I asked her.
“This is not how you get some.”
“Some of what?” I asked.
“You know?” she said, wiggling her eyebrows.
I still didn’t know. “Food?”
She rolled her eyes. “You know.”
“Um,” I just shook my head.
“Oh my god, Steffi, makeout time, sexy time? Sex Steffi! My God, are you a virgin?”
"Oh, serioulsy? Well, then don't have sexy time with a guy you don't know."
“But you were making out with that one guy just a few days ago,” I told her.
“And now it will be Dave.”
I just gave a smile. This is what normal girls are supposed to do . . . makeout with . . . boys. Maybe I was okay with not being the normal idea of a girl.
Debbie was on her phone, texting her date. I still did not know the name of mine, and I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to. I checked my phone.
Hades still has not text me back. I felt embarrassed, a little desperate at the fact that I texted him first.
I wanted to ask my roommate if that was a normal thing, but I was too scared of what the answer would be.
I could ask my mother, but I don’t remember the last time she had even been on a date.
She had been single all of my life. When I asked about my dad, she told me, “Doesn’t matter. Just an ego airhead. Don’t even know where he is.”
“Does he know about me?”
“Last I heard, he has lots of children he doesn’t even know about. That doesn’t matter, because we have each other,” she would tell me right before she gave me a big hug.
I wonder if she ever thinks about my dad, or just like me, out of sight out of mind type situation.
I remember not really caring after a while who he was. Because my mom was right.
We had each other, and that was all that mattered.